Teaching the Gift of Giving

By Teresa Opdycke

"All I want for Christmas is..." "Santa baby, bring me…" "Johnny wants a pair of skates, Susie wants a dolly…" I want, I need, I just gotta have are the beginnings of countless sentences that children repeat over and over until the big event, Christmas morning, finally arrives. Unfortunately, not every child will wake up Christmas morning to an array of wrapped surprises beneath a lighted tree. Teaching children compassion for other children as well as grown-ups, especially at the holidays, begins at home.

With so many agencies pleading for help during the holidays it's easy to be a good example to your children. The old excuse "I gave at the office" just doesn't cut it with kids. Children need to see their parents actively giving. When a child witnesses his or her parents' generosity, it will leave an indelible mark.

Three years of age is not too soon to let your child learn that very special feeling that comes over each of us when we open not just our wallets, but our hearts to others. Teach pre-schoolers how to help. Let them see you show compassion and encourage random acts of kindness. Hold the door for the lady struggling beneath an armful of packages while holding the hand of your child. In this day it's often hard to offer assistance to someone struggling. We've become a cynical society that believes people harbor ulterior motives. You certainly don't want to encourage your child to speak with strangers or offer to help strangers when you're not close at hand, but you do want to raise a thoughtful, courteous child. Sit down and talk with your children about ways they can be kind without putting themselves in harm's way. Holding a door open for an elderly person, a mother struggling with several children, or someone overloaded with packages is a simple act of common courtesy.

Teaching children to understand how to give to others may take a few kind-hearted lessons. Most children live in rooms that have a few seldom-played-with toys. Talk about your child about the wonderful toys he or she has. Lead the conversation into how some boys and girls do not have such wonderful toys to play with. Continue with subtle suggestions that perhaps your child could give the toys he or she no longer wants to another child who will enjoy it more.

One little trick is to tell your child that there is a toy fairy who comes and gathers toys from children who no longer want them and takes them to children who would love them so much. You may discover your child gathering up a few toys and placing them outside where the fairy (you) can take them to needy children. Give them to Goodwill or a gently used children's shop.

As children get older it may be time to introduce them to Toys for Tots. Take your children Christmas shopping after talking with them about the joys of giving. Tell them they are each going to choose a gift they would like and then place it in the Toys for Tots bin. The enthusiasm bubbles over and leaves a good feeling. After shopping, treat them to dinner out and let them talk about how they feel.

Older kids, junior high and up, can volunteer their time reading to older people at a nursing home, helping out at soup kitchens, and doing odd jobs for elderly neighbors like washing windows, raking leaves, or running errands.

Let the whole family decide on a holiday giving project that everyone can participate in. This year try having a baking day with the entire family. Bake an assortment of cookies and plate them up. Take them to neighbors and those who can't bake holiday goodies for themselves anymore. Adopt a family as a family. Call social services and ask if there is a family you could help anonymously. The Head Start preschool program is another place you might contact to ask about helping out for the holidays or any time. Food distribution centers are always in need of money, food items, and physical help.

Giving to those less fortunate and practicing kind courtesies throughout the year brings a new focus to what a gift is. A gift is not always something wrapped in beautiful paper with a shining bow on top. A gift may be giving something that we all ready have or a present we purchase for the express purpose of helping someone else. Teaching our children that it's a gift to give, and that by giving we in turn are rewarded with a joyful heart, begins a life long compassion for those less fortunate.

© Doityourself.com 2006