Bring the Spirit Back into Your Holiday

By Teresa Opdycke

The busy days of December keep shoppers running from store to store pursuing the elusive perfect gift for each person on the list. When we’re not shopping, decorating the home takes over. Once the house sings with garlands, a lit tree, and wreathed doors and windows, we turn our attentions to wrapping and addressing Christmas cards. As the big day grows near baking and cooking become the main focus. Are you having fun yet? If the answer is no, you’re not taking time to truly enjoy the holidays. Slow down, take a deep breath, and stop to smell the scents of the season, taste holiday treats, see, feel, and hear these days that should be remembered and cherished.

Pinpointing the Source of Stress:

Do you hate to bake? Do you feel guilty because you do? Do you dislike wrapping all the gifts you buy and feel it’s a waste of time? Sit down, before the mad-rush of the holidays begin, with a piece of paper and a pen. Write down all the things you love about the holidays. Take a long hard look at the list. Are you doing those things you love or are you doing things because you feel you’re supposed to?

If baking is not on your list of things that you love to do, then stop doing it. Perhaps you love to wrap and your friend loves to bake, could you exchange tasks? You’ll do all her wrapping if she bakes Christmas cookies for you. Instead of baking your own, buy from bakeries. If you must bake, pick up easy ready-to-bake confections.

If you find going to the malls and stores shopping is stressful and brings out the Scrooge in you, shop online or shop early. There are times of the day to stay away from stores. Most stores open very early during the holidays. Stop by as early as you can to pick up a few things before the onslaught of rushed shoppers begins. As you shop, smile and wish the clerks and cashiers a “Merry Christmas or Happy Holiday,” you’d be amazed at how good it feels to just say it and bring a smile to another weary soul.

Decorating becomes drudgery if it’s something that just doesn’t make you happy. Take a look at how you decorate. Are you trying to do too much? Are you feeling as if it’s all up to you and no one appreciates what you’re doing? Pare down the decorating for this year. If no one notices you know that it’s not all that important to the rest of the family. If someone asks, “Hey mom, why didn’t you hang a wreath in every window this year?” Now’s the time to have a conversation about helping out and suggest if it’s that important next year we’ll work together to hang wreaths in all the windows. Just because something has always been done doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to continue doing.

Placing Emphasis on the Things you Love:

Check your list of things you love about the holidays, again. Are you incorporating them into your holiday life? Perhaps you love singing and always thought you’d like to be part of a Christmas choir. Why wait? You’ll find more joy singing the carols of the season than in taking part in an activity that doesn’t bring the same sense of fulfillment. If you’ve always wanted to volunteer at a soup kitchen or in some capacity to help those less fortunate, but never felt you had the time, don’t hesitate. Give up a task that you don’t care for and volunteer. There are so many ways to enjoy the season besides the traditional baking, decorating, sending cards, attending programs, shopping and feeling frustrated.

See the holidays through the eyes of a child. Have you forgotten how to fly? Growing up insists that we put away our childish toys and become responsible adults. We go to work, we pay bills, and we do what needs to be done to keep our life and the lives of those who depend on us moving towards the goal, although often we forget to truly live while our eyes keep focusing on something in the future.

This holiday season get a new attitude toward being happy and content. Stop for a moment while you’re shopping and watch children in stores or visiting with Santa. Really look at them. Their eyes are wide with the magic of wonder. The excitement that glows just beneath the skin is palpable. It’s charming, it’s delightful, it’s contagious. If there are no small children in your family, perhaps you could borrow a friend’s child for a few hours. Invite neighborhood children over to help decorate cookies. Buy ready to bake to save time or throw yourself into homemade.

When children grow up and show little interest in the holidays outside of what they want under the tree, it’s easy to lose enthusiasm. Small children have a way of making us smile. They believe and they believe with so much conviction, that adults begin to believe again, too. Take the time to see the joys of the season through the eyes of a child.

Everyone has commitments. We may not want to go to the office party, but we know that it’s imperative that we do. Counter every commitment with a feel-good activity. Go to the office party and then come home and soak in a bubble bath with your favorite Christmas music playing softly in the background. Watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” with your partner who thinks it’s the best Christmas film ever made and then counter by inviting a close friend to join you for a cup of Christmas tea. The theme throughout the holidays should be doing for others without losing yourself in the race to get it all done.

The holidays should be a time of sublime joy. Instead of truly living in the moments of the season, we find ourselves resentful and just weary by the longer than usual list of to do’s. Change the way you celebrate, start a new tradition, and take to heart the words of Fra Giovanni Giocondo, “The gloom of the world is but a shadow. Behind it yet within our reach is joy. There is radiance and joy within the darkness could we but see – to see we have only to look.”

© Doityourself.com 2006