Boss trying to make me quit


Old 02-24-08, 06:45 PM
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 1
I need some advise, it sounds like you know what you are talking about. Ive worked for this Health Caer facilty for two in ahalf years and I know my boss is trying to make me quit. About 1 mth ago I ask her when was she gonna do my evaluation since I havent had one and it was due last year. She said that it would be done in a week and she would retro what she owes since she is 5 mths late. Well then in aweek came nothing and she has added more responsibilties to my job description since then. Week came nothing then the next week came I reminded her and she said " (My name) I know your anxious but there are so many hours in aday" after that she has messed with me every day its nit picking about certain stupid things the other day it was about a stamp she said I mailed out envelopes like an eighth grader did it. I know what shes up to cause she has said it in her own words before Im not trying to make u quit that when I knew oh and another thing I am 35 yrs old everyone eles there is over 50 including her so they are always making remarks about what I do and how I do. The other day she asked me if I knew gangmembers!!!! what was that cause my skin color. Well Friday I clld in cause everytime I go to work she makes me sick literally (stomack sick). Well when I called in I lefet her a message she didnyt answer well after that I never heard from her again on friday when she usally calls everyone back to see how they are doing. I have a feeling shes gonna say somthing tomorrow its hard not go off on her Ive kept cool whats your advise????????
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Old 02-24-08, 07:46 PM
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: USA
Posts: 15,834
It sounds as if the boss and fellow employees have teamed up together to make you miserable. And, it's working. If the situation is making you physically ill, it is time to start looking for another job. I hope that you looked at the Employment Ads while you were off work. There should be other health care facilities in the area.

Employment discrimination cases are difficult to settle because they are difficult to prove and difficult to evaluate. Courts tend to dismiss discrimination cases because such cases require a heavy burden of proof.

If you plan on staying at that job, then you will have to change your perception from 'my boss is a jerk' to 'my boss is my boss.' In 2 1/2 years you have learned what your boss likes and does not like. Do what your boss likes. It's your job to do what your boss wants and how she wants it done. That's what you get paid for.

Remember, your boss is not going to change. No matter if you do everything she wants and how she wants it done. No matter how much faster and harder and more efficiently you work. How you react and respond to your boss's actions is in your control. Don't let the boss get to you.

You do not have to like the boss. But, always be polite and respectful. The boss will not change, but you can change the way you react. Do not go off on the boss! Keep all conversations on a professional level.

If you feel that you can change the way you react to the actions of the boss, then perhaps you can stand to stay. If you do not feel that you can change your perception, then it's time to move on.

Keep a journal and document what happens at work each day. Don't forget to document what you did each day. Keep the journal at home! Do not talk about the boss with anyone at work. If you feel the need to talk about the boss, talk with a friend outside of the workplace. An outside opinion, might be therapeutic for you and possibly help with coming up with ideas on how to better handle the situation. Remember the ball is in your court.

And, it's best to ignore negative behaviors. People who put others down tend to be insecure. This may be because they are unhappy or have been hurt. By hurting others, perhaps this gives them a sense of self-control over their insecurities. Your boss obviously has a problem. Do not make her problem your problem. Do not let her make you feel bad. Do not lower yourself to her level and take on her pain.

Do not respond with put downs or argument. So the boss says, "You put stamps on envelopes like an 8th grader." Simply smile. Ask yourself why that comment bothered you. Do you have a history where others have put you down and made you feel inept? If you have emotional baggage, it's time to let it go.

Don't look at criticism as a put down. Change your perception. Look at criticism as an opportunity to improve.

The best way to deal with negativity is just to smile. Stay detached. Don't take on the burden of guilt. This is where a healthy self-esteem comes in. Just keep thinking to yourself that this negative person is very unhappy, and that it is a shame. You will find that this little trick will work well with all the negative people in your life. Remember unhappy people want you to be unhappy, too. Another trick is to pretend you have a magic force field surrounding you and it will not let negative comments and put downs to penetrate. Once you have a conversation with yourself and determine why the comments at work bother you so much, you may find that the things they say will no longer bother you.

And, maybe the events at work are working in your favor. Perhaps it's time to move on to a better job where people value you and respect you. If you value you and respect you, then others are more likely to do so.
Old 03-03-08, 03:46 PM
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Posts: 1,210
It's work for you but please do keep a journal. Even if it never turns to evidence, this will help you reflect on the situation and get through incidents thinking, "I'll note that."

Laws vary between countries.

In Canada, my wife ended up going to the BC Human Rights Commission over discrimination & harassment and some labour code issues. She had dated logs and even (secretly) tape recorded incidents. These we submitted, and the machine just lit up and gutted that business without asking much else of her. In the end, she and others got the pay they were entitled to.

Our government closed the place and the boss committed suicide shortly after. There are powerful machines on "your side" if you dare to invoke them. Overkill, in my opinion. Read the applicable laws (e.g. discrimination) of your country and understand these words mean exactly what they say.

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