gripe, gripe, gripe, moan, moan, moan....

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  #1  
Old 02-10-03, 04:20 PM
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gripe, gripe, gripe, moan, moan, moan....

I cannot help myself tonight. Will probably add to it before anyone gets a chance to read it since I am unable to accomplish much in its entirety today in one swoop.

I feel as tho I life has started giving me a wedgie, and it is slowly but surely turning into an atomic wedgie.

First off, I'm on dialup. That has got my goat worse than anything. Its the straw that is breaking this camel's back. Being slow is one thing, but the being bumped off and having to dial back in has become a minor irritation in my life today, yesterday, the day before, etc. Taking 15 minutes just to read my email is ridiculous, not to mention that half of the sites I need to visit to do my research cannot, will not, whatever not, load due to my connection speed.

My laptop died. I haven't had the strength to look into it. My frustration level warning sirens have gone off telling me to not go near it in case I lose it and throw the sucker across the room. I had hoped to sell this desktop to make space in our dining room. We are too cramped in the house since the Vegas kid moved home. The laptop was slower, but smaller and served it purpose well enough. I may find that once I get in the laptop that I accidentally knocked something lose and it will be as simple as that. For now, it sits as a dead as a doornail on the counter.

Got my electric bill. Okay, that's enough to bring tears to your eyes. Got my gas bill, that's enough to make you want to rob a bank and get on your knees and beg for mercy. For us to have this wonderful system of a/c, aux heat, and heat pump to save money, well, ROF not laughing, but CMEO (crying my eyes out). The response I get from my hubby: "maybe its all the hot water we use." Okay, the electric bill would show that honey, but I thought we were discussing the gas bill. Worse thing about it all is that we stay so cold in this house. I've caulked windows, made sure windows were closed, doors shut, filters clean...apparently none of that is what's wrong. So much for the emergency savings! Am calling a HVAC pro tomorrow! Gotta be cheaper (wishful thinking) than these awful bills that keep going higher and higher. No one else's are going this high, has to be our unit.

Am going to shoot the Vegas kid if he doesn't go to work soon. Insurance on the car went up $75 (which is a lot cheaper than I thought it would be since he's only 18) and he is suppose to be paying it. Until he can, he will not drive my car. He has also begun the habit of sleeping late and staying up late. Our bedroom is off the living room (where he lives at the moment) and I am use to it being very quiet in the house at night. I have to push myself in the mornings to NOT be quiet so he can sleep. He can get on the schedule that the rest of us are on. Can't stand the griping though. There are also some nights that I can't sleep and would like to come into the living room and watch a movie. I don't worry about waking him, just seems to be an invitation for conversation instead of what I intend it to be: me winding down with some sort of distraction (movie or show, not talking).

It also doesn't help that my kids have been sick. It seems that I have one out of the three school kids home almost every day. I'm tired of playing nurse. Have been doing it for a few weeks now, and I'm sick too. Hubby is fixing supper tonight, which is nice. I am having to go into the kitchen every few moments to help him find this, that or the other. Am trying to resist the urge to just tell him to get out of the kitchen since it would be easier for me to do it myself. He just now asked me if the milk in the fridge was any good. Jeez, smell it and you tell me.....

I'm going to go take a shower now. Maybe I can get a few minutes of quiet before the smoke detectors go off.

Kay
 
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Old 02-10-03, 06:17 PM
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Ouch, sounds like a familiar set of complaints... First of all, I also have the heat pump deal which certainly saves me money most of the year, but this year, with the unusual cold, I have had to switch it to emergency heat (which supplements the heat with ELECTRIC BURNERS)... That really wastes energy, but heats the house much better... I just got the power bill, and it was about 50% higher than last month... It is worth the trade-off for the better heat... As for the bill though, around here we have budget billing on just about everything... I pay the same thing all year, that is based on an average, and each year they readjust it according to how much actual usage we have... That is especially helpful with the power bill where A/C or Emergency Heat eats up the bill... Anyway, you should look into that in your area if you aren't already doing that... It really helps when I am trying to keep a strict budget since the number is the same every month...

Anyway, I would like to give you an answer on the teenager, but unfortunately there isn't one... Don't waste your life arguing with someone who will never think you are right... Lay down the ground rules, stick to them, and don't put up with nonsense... When it comes time for him to live by his own rules, let him do it in his own place... Anyone that caters to a teenager is just asking to be taken advantage of... And if you give too much to a teenager, he becomes thankless and still spends his time being mad at you... Sorry, but I have very little tolerance for young people these days... I am still of the belief that children (teenagers included) should be seen and not heard...

As for the computer, I used to work at Gateway selling computers, and I loved keeping up with technology, but when I quit there, I learned to play golf more, spend more time with the kids and the wife, and spend less time waiting in "virtual line" with all the other sheep of the world... Next time your computer drops you, go outside and walk to the mail box and take a few deep breaths and remember what it was like when computers were only in science fiction movies...

Glad to see you are still feisty... Hang in there...
 
  #3  
Old 02-10-03, 07:56 PM
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For a fast trip through the internet on dial up, consider a text based browser.
http://www.uwsa.edu/ois/wug/lynx.htm
Lynx has been available for Unix and Linux systems for a long time. The link above will take you to a site to get it for Windows.

It handles only the text from a site, it manages links and urls just as any other browser. It runs in text mode, so it does not load any image files. You can imagine how much faster web browsing would be if you did not have to deal with the images.

After a graphical browser such as Explorer or Netscape, you will be amazed at how fast text only browsing can be.
 
  #4  
Old 02-11-03, 04:30 AM
maggy1
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Uh oh

Hang in there Kay - I know you can get through this - just remember - grit your teeth, appreciate what everyone else is doing even though it's not your way - and hang in there!

Don't worry about teenager - get up, do your stuff.......if he can't get used to getting up early and job hunting - just make it uncomfortable enough that he has to! - my favourite was vacuuming first thing in the morning - right outside his door, of course - I'm naturally an early riser so it was no big deal to me.

He moved back into YOUR house - keep it your house - he must adapt to your rules.

Don't worry about the technology part - go for a walk - enjoy the somewhat cold weather!

I don't know what a heat pump is but we have a boiler with water heat (it's a little dry but very economical) and we found installing ceiling fans to circulate the air was definitely the way to go.

Post soon - don't let it get to you! (When I get frustrated with my family - I try to sneak a peak at my hubby when he's not looking and when he "catches me" he usually gives me a big smile which gets me back on track with the positive things.

post soon and let us know how you are doing!
 
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Old 02-11-03, 02:10 PM
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Guess I'm tired of being sick. I can't seem to shake whatever this is I that I have. It feels almost like having the flu, but without the aching muscles, just joints. Every once in awhile I get a headache with them behind my eye(s). That is what gets to me the worse, not being able to focus on print. No fever, just chills.

Now that I've thrown my 'fit' online, I do feel better. Got some it out of my system. Even though I don't feel up to par, I still see ways that I can keep things moving in a better direction here and that it isn't hopeless.

Something I forgot to post last night is that with these problems going on my husband has to go out of town again. Too late for him to back out now. In fact, he's on his way as I type. He volunteered for this assignment since we're doing so well with the budget and saving money. We thought it would just be extra padding. He does feel bad about leaving me with all this to deal with. Not his fault. I did tell him this morning that I do appreciate him taking this job so that we will be in a better position to handle these type problems (heating bills) in the future.

Kay
 
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Old 02-12-03, 04:37 AM
maggy1
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Hang in there!

It's great that you can handle everything when hubby goes out of town.....and you can never have enough money.

Don't feel you have to do everything now.......things will wait until you get to them and now with extra help from Vegas kid, it should be a breeze (tee hee). Part of me is not kidding, though. Make a list every day of stuff for him to do and make sure it's done!
 
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Old 02-13-03, 04:29 PM
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kay , just going through everything here . im bored with tv. hang in there girl. teenager.had one should have played tough and didnt. i payed. he went back to kansas to mess up his life more. i lost an apartment. i do have a beautiful granddaughter though. but he and the girl broke up and he got another one preg. 16 this time. gees. at least i didnt raise him . his dad took him when he was 8 and sent him back at 17 into drugs. big time. thank goodness i already knew the police in town they were customers of mine in the herb shop. any way just tell him if he doesnt want to work he doesnt eat. that should get a reaction. isnt that what the puritians did when they first came here. good luck . whats going on with your health. im into alternative meds maybe i can suggest something . cant do squat if your sick. we need to get you well. hugs
 
  #8  
Old 02-13-03, 05:33 PM
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motivating teenagers

After my first daughter flunked out of college and came home and hung out for a month, I told her to be gone in 30 days. She was not working or contributing, and would have to get out and get a job and get a life. She grumbled that 30 days was not very long. I told her I could make it two weeks. Out she went. She more or less got her life in order, but learned that the free ride was over.
 
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Old 02-13-03, 06:25 PM
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Almost all dial up connections are slow. Some are better than others but all are slow, especially at peak user hours. It is also dependent on how good the phone lines are between you & the server that you dial into. Try off peak hours like real early in the a.m. I get real hack off at work sometimes for the same reason. I am the "wab guy" & have to do all of the in & out going e-mail. Somedays it really sucks.

Ah, teenagers.... Too old to spank & too young to know how stupid they sometimes are. This doesn't work for everyone but I remember something my dad said to me more than 35 yars ago. He said "the older you get, the smarter he (my dad) would get". And you know, he was right. The older I got, the closer he got to being a genius. Don't know why. There wasn't anyone smarter than me at 18. Just remember, it's your house. If he doesn't like the rules, the door is straight ahead & don't let it slam as you leave. It may be hard to do but.... Also, you & the better half must agree on the rules and what happens if they are not followed.
 
  #10  
Old 02-13-03, 06:30 PM
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I can't say that my kid is actually a dead-beat since he does things around the house. Washes dishes, cleans the floors, does the laundry and even steam cleaned the living room floor today. He gets bored and instead of sleeping, watching tv or staying on the computer all day he finds something that needs to be done around here and does it.

However, he is needs to check the status of his application he put in with a data tech company. They can't hire him for another week, but I would like to know if that is still a definite or will it be later. If later, he needs to find temporary work (even at a burger joint) since he is already incurring some bills I can't pay for him. He has his cellphone and the insurance on my car to deal with.

I just got a shocker today, too. Went to the doctor, plus took two of my kids. With all the tests and visit it totalled $180 on my part. Hello...I have no deductible. Only a $20 co-pay for each of us. That should be $60, not $180. Okay, will settle with the insurance company as usual (they send me a refund check within a couple of weeks) but then go to get the scripts filled...$138. Jeez, once again, no deductible and the copay is only $10 per script. So much for the water heater and/or the HVAC tech looking at the heater.

Fortunately...my bills are already paid except for the electric bill and Mike gets paid tomorrow. We are on top of things, but I am amazed that we stayed afloat before following a budget!

For me not to have any tests run, and he determined that I only have the slight remains of bronchitis I ended up with the most scripts of all! 4 of them. One is to be taken until gone now, but the others are on an as need basis. Guess that's not too bad. They tested both children for the flu, not positive and also tested Meagan for strep, also not postive. That was good news. Not sure what they have, but he gave them something for the congestion and if they worsen I'm to bring them back.

Guess I'm through griping since I just noticed in my email box that someone has just posted here. Will close so I can read what was posted.

kay
 
  #11  
Old 02-13-03, 06:35 PM
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dial up

In regards to peak times my ISP claims that between 7 and 10 p.m. are the peak hours. Those are the only times that I can actually stay online and not get bumped. That I believe is due to the actual usage of the phone lines themselves out here, the fact that they have just pargained and entire business district along with our neighborhood...cable internet service will be here in the morning between 10 and 12. They are very prompt out here, in fact they turned on the cable for the tv 2 hours before their scheduled appt.

Kay
 
  #12  
Old 02-14-03, 04:28 AM
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Nice to see you back Kay

Sunshine is right Kay - try some alternative meds - less expensive and very natural (hence they usually don't taste very good!).

I'm no rocket scientist when it comes to natural herbs however I use fresh lemons (4 for $1.99cdn) and honey in hot water instead of Neo Citron ($9.00 a box about) - works even better because of all the good stuff in the lemons - I take an aspirin and multivitamin every day (my family has history of heart condition) - I grow my own herbs for cooking and their much better than the dried out bits you buy in a jar.........the only thing I don't have any luck with is basil which, according to the many people I've spoke to, is the easiest thing to grow(?)......will venture this year into the gardening aspect (I've always been into flowers) and try to grow some veggies on a small scale at first. I'm lucky - I have a retired farmer living next to me and he plants a huge garden every year.


I just joined the gym and my goal is to lose 68 pounds and firm up all the jiggly stuff (I'll keep posting on this one!)......joining a gym was a last ditch effort - since I got married five years ago, I have put this on......my hubby is a tradesman and likes a full dinner at night - when I lived on my own, breakfast and lunch was the only meals I ate then was busy at night......now it 's a heavy dinner and the couch & tv so trying to change that.

See - we'll have a bit of a competition - you stay on budget and I'll try to stay at gym - you can count your savings and I'll the count the pounds! (hee hee).
 
  #13  
Old 02-14-03, 05:37 AM
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big meals

You may be in the same fix my wife is in. I like to eat, and I eat a lot, and weigh the same as when we married 32 years ago. I have 24 body mass index, for a guide. She has fought the weight issue the entire time. She bought a membership at the same gym I use. She never goes. I wish that she would. I believe that she would feel much better, knees and ankles.
 
  #14  
Old 02-14-03, 05:52 AM
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I know that I feel so much better since I've been working out in taekwondo. Although I'm on the other end of the weight deal, I never had an appetite before and now I do. The best part is that candy bars, other junk food, etc aren't what I'm wanting. I crave real food. I went to the doctor yesterday and found that I've gained weight. I now weigh in at 129. Getting closer to my goal but at the same time and watching for my metabolism to change. I was overweight as a teenager and then somehow changed my metabolism. Any day now I will have to watch my calorie intake again so that I don't zoom up the other way. My goal is to weigh 132. Once my metabolism changes I don't want to go over 140.

My joints feel so much better. I highly recommend doing simple yoga to start out. No pretzel works, mind you. Just simple moves and you will be amazed after a few weeks at how much looser the joints feel, how much better you sleep, etc.

I guess I'm rambling so I'll quit for now LOL.

Kay
 
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Old 02-14-03, 06:02 AM
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You're right

You're right, Chris - my hubby is the same weight (gains about five pounds in winter, loses it pretty much first day of summer) as he was when we got married.

I'm very lucky - I don't care much for pop or junk food - it's lack of exercise that's doing it to me......office worker - big meals, etc.

Kay - 120 is where I want to be - don't care how long it takes to get there.


Actually, I gain weight all over relatively evenly so I never look the weight I actually am......it was a picture of myself I saw taken last summer which did me in!

While I don't like junk food, beer is favourite on the weekends (uh oh).
 
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Old 02-14-03, 06:15 AM
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I'm 5'9" so I figure I need to put on a little more weight. In finishing school they wanted me down to 126 and I weighed 134 at the time. I had a terrible time getting the weight down since I wasn't a big eater, but worked out in the gym so there was some muscle mass/weight involved. I told them they were crazy and would have to accept me as I was (I tend to bulk out a little when I lift weights).

After my first husband I divorced I applied for a job as a waitress. I put on the application that I weighed 130. Of course, this is an inappropriate question on an app today! The guy asked me where in the heck I had 130 pounds on me. I bought a scale and was shocked! I weighed 105. That was 15 years ago and I'm just now finding out how to reverse my metabolism so that I don't look like a skeleton with skin. Do you know how hard it is to find pants that fit a woman that is my height and wears a size 2?

I also have quit worrying about my weight (lack of) and have become addicted to how good I feel now that I'm working out. Now neckaches, lower backaches, and my joints don't bother me anymore. I thought that I was developing arthritis, but discovered that it was just my joints settling from lack of exercise. Now, I will never be Bruce Lee, and don't want to be either. I am just enjoying having fun and moving my body in a creative way.

Kay

Ps. It really helps motivate me since my son is also in tae. He is a huge inspiration to me. The other students and the instructors are very encouraging, never pushing me but allowing me to move forward at my own pace.

K.
 
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Old 02-14-03, 10:07 AM
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You are lucky

I'm only 5'5" so extra pounds kinda spread out ........ I'll never wear a size 2 but if I can get down to a 10 I'll be happy - I'm not obsessed with my weight but it's not healthy to be as overweight as I am for my heart or lungs. My dad died of massive heart failure and 67 and my mom lost her battle with emphasema at 76......not that I want to live to 100 or anything but I'd like to hang on til 70 anyway!

Another contributing factor is that, in the last seven years, I have lost a stepfather, my mom (2 years ago - she was my best friend) and one of my good friends is dying - he's hoping to make it til August but drs say not likely - I got married, bought a house, started a new job......surpassed 40, pretty much everything changed so I'm sort of just sinking in now.......

Discovered I have time to make to gym on my lunch so now plan is to go to gym on lunch instead of after work (which I find harder and it's easier when you're hungry!
 
  #18  
Old 02-18-03, 03:28 PM
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blown budget!

Darn.

I couldn't help myself guys. I blew the budget...I paid all the bills and now I don't have any of the ones on my list to pay this check!

Honestly, I sat down to pay the bills and apparently with the refund check I got way ahead of myself paying all the bills I had in the house. Way kewl. Sorry about the kewl stuff. I've been watching surfer movies with the kid and apparently I'm very impressionable.

I did kind of blow the budget, even though it won't hurt us right now, when I bought me a new digital camera. If I use it instead of the regular film camera I will recoup my cost of the camera within a year. I am a shudder bug and this one uses a memory card. I can either take the card in to have the pictures developed or upload them from my computer and have them developed. Since I'm bad to look through developed pictures and then toss them into a box, I think I will just burn them to a disk for future viewing. That by far is the best method for me money-wise. I can email pictures and if they want a copy, the can let me know or upload them to a picture place and get their own copies. I get to test it out at the taekwondo tournament next weekend. I also like this one because it has a monitor on the back so I can view the pictures after I take them. If there are some I don't like, I can delete them and take some more.

I used it the other day to take pictures of the kids and my hubby's cat. I posted them on my website so that he could see them. He liked that idea. He's been out of town forever it seems. Just got home and then had to leave again. He told me today that the interview with some potential customers (the day he left) scored them 3 new sites. Unfortunately, only one is local. The other two are in Maryland and Texas. He said they start with the local job and then do the other two. Not sure how long it will take here since its a small job. He did say that he would have to be home by March to oversee the jobs. It seems this job he's on right now is going very slowly. The guys that they were sent to help haven't been working much since our guys showed up. Guess I'll have to send him my cheezy digital camera so they can take pictures to send to me. One of these trips we're going to forget what each other looks like! LOL

I'm grateful that the out of town trips don't take as long as they use to take. When we first started dating he ended up on a 9 month job. It was only 10 hours away so they got to come every 2 months for a weekend. I should be grateful that now it is weeks instead of months. I also, should not be whining at all! These military wives, well, my heart goes out to you. I will post a note I received as an email so you can see what I mean.

Kay
 
  #19  
Old 03-16-03, 07:15 AM
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Exclamation Strangest couple!

We have got to be the strangest couple. This weekend we had no children. I mean, Friday night even the 18yo was gone on a camping trip. I'm thinking about what my hubby and I can do. Maybe go see a movie, go out to eat, rent movies...

I come back from dropping the last kid off at a friends and guess what, hubby has made plans. We grilled out with my BIL and SIL lol! We just don't know how to be parents without kids!

We are getting better though. The night he came home he and I went out to eat, alone. Usually since the kids miss him too, we all go out to eat or do something together as a family. Not this time. I fixed supper for them, and told them that it was ready and that Mike and I would be back after awhile. I found out afterwards that they grumbled and moaned, shocked that we didn't take them too, but I didn't give them a chance to beforehand. I didn't take the grumbling part hard since it was the 12yo doing the most grumbling, but she also was upset that I wouldn't take her to her friends that night either. I was obvious that she didn't feel hurt that I didn't include her under the premiss that Mike had just gotten back in town and we should have eaten together as a family. If she had her way, she wouldn't have even been here LOL.

They can't gripe about never getting to go out to eat since I do take them at least once a month (sometimes all together, but usually one at a time - special night) to eat somewhere nice. Even if its Ryan's Steakhouse (buffet) or the Mexican restaurant down the street. The 10yo prefers Burger King, but likes the other two every once in awhile LOL.

I know that Mike and I are happier since I'm taking time to focus on us instead of always the family as a whole. However, I think it does help the family as a whole for my marriage to be strong, us adults to feel like adults, not just parents, and for the children to learn to be on their own for brief periods of time.

I went to Alabama for a couple of days to see my husband a few weekends ago and the kids did great while I was gone. The first day I got several phone calls about them wanting to go to someone else's home, but I quickly reminded them that we had laid out the rules before I left and they were not changing. Few moans and groans. Later that evening and the following day I got some nice voice mail messages saying that they hoped we were having a great weekend and the kids would list all the things they had done around the house. They wanted us to keep having fun and wanted us to know that everything was running smoothly at home so I wouldn't worry. They did great while I was gone and were happy when I got here. The house wasn't destroyed, a little messy maybe.

For the most part I take the kids with me when we go to see Mike. Its like a mini-vacation for all of us. This trip I wanted for just Mike and me.

Getting better at this. Slowly but surely!

Kay
 
  #20  
Old 03-16-03, 04:25 PM
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Paying attention to your husband or wife is important and tends to get lost in the shuffle of kids. My take on it is that she was in this before the kids, and will be there for many years after they are gone; don't forget her for the 25 years that the kids will be around.
 
  #21  
Old 03-17-03, 07:19 AM
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we're long over due for a we trip. we had a trip planned for St Thomas sep 26 2001. after the attacks on the 11 th we decided we still were going no matter what. had my mom take the girls for the 4 days, and went just the two of us. WOW!!! i found the girl i married is alive and well!!! dont take that the wrong way, but with kids work etc, as chris said, the time and attention you pay to the spouse gets used up on the kids etc. we had such a good time that we figure on doing that at least every other year. dont know where we plan to go this year, but it even if its someplace close like ocean city MD, just to be away alone w/ each other, just like b4 the kids, means so much. to see her without a care and not as twisted up as she usually is (Kay, sometimes i read your posts and swear its my wife writing some of them), was worth so much!!!! it felt good to see her actually relax!!!(heck, i think she even threw a towel on the floor and left it there!!!!Seriously!!!!).
 
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