current events

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  #1  
Old 03-21-03, 06:37 AM
kaybyrd's Avatar
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current events

I don't know where to start this, so I'll just start.

NOTE: This isn't about whether or not we should be at war. This isn't about what the country needs to do or not do. This is simply my thoughts and my reaching out to find some understanding on how to deal with the emotions that I'm feeling. How to cope during these times. How to protect children from the fear and helplessness that it spreading quickly to the children in my home and those children I encounter daily. How to keep myself upright instead of crawling into the bed and under the covers hoping it will all go away.

I'm a member of a couple of groups. Just mom's coping with day to day trials and tribulations of raising children and trying to stay sane. Sharing recipes, tips and the like. There is little posting there today. Most are preoccupied with this, just as I am.

I'm trying to put gas in my car because I need to have gas to go places such as the grocery store, tae classes and pay bills. Not because I might have to escape the city. I'm trying to put groceries in the house because my family needs to eat, not because it may not be possible later. I'm trying to take taekwondo because I like it, its good for me and my self-esteem, my physical health is benefiting from it...not because one day I may have to literally use it to survive.

Yes, I'm still a dramatist at heart. What if? use to be my favorite game of thought. Being prepared is one thing, being paranoid is another. I'm having trouble keeping the balance right now.

What brought this on was taekwondo last night. I stood in front of 8 students that I was instructed to teach. I looked at these beautiful children standing there and thought "what is wrong with this picture". I looked at the somber faces, then looked at the parents faces. It was the same look. I was horrified when I turned and looked into the mirror to see that exact same expression on my face! For the first time I didn't think the usual "don't let them win this way (terrorist)" I simply thought that I live in a free country. Soldiers of the past, present and those of the future will have fought for my right to stand in front of these children and teach simple balance of life, emotions and physical agility. I felt ashamed that I was disgracing and dishonoring those soldiers by letting the current events alter my life so greatly that it was affecting those around me. I led a different kind of class last night. We had a great workout, learned so much about our forms and laughed. Yes, even the parents were laughing when we all left.

This morning I'm thinking back on how many times that my children have been in the room and I didn't notice because I was lost in thought or sadness. That I haven't been doing my job lately, which is simply to take care of my family period, due to allowing this to take over me - to consume my entire being. I didn't go to tae on Wednesday due to my 'sadness and confusion'. I hurt no one but myself.

Why is this affecting me anymore than knowing that there are 5 known sex affenders living in my community, 16 in my county? Why can I not allow this war to be cope-able? Police officers deal with terrorism every day in our community, Americans hurting Americans. I don't feel fear, only gratitude for the officers (soldiers of our community) that work so hard to keep my family and friends safe. Why is it cope-able? Is it because I've become use to this type deal? Because nothing has directly affected me in a negative way? Loss of life, discord anywhere is big, period. Is it because this war is not normal, not a common thing for me? Is the attutitude that we can harm ourselves but god-forbid that someone else do it?

I'm going to stop for now. The thoughts are rolling too fast for me to sort, much less put down here. Just trying to cope with it all.

Thanks for listening.

Kay
 
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  #2  
Old 03-21-03, 07:57 PM
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Is it because this war is not normal, not a common thing for me?
Kay,
I hope we never see the day when any war is a common thing for any of us. I know what you mean about the expressions you saw, the dejected look, heads low, and a general sense of blue in most everyone. You noticed, and you changed all of that for at least one group of people. When you are bombarded with reports on tv and radio stations, it is hard to not become consumed with the war. It takes exactly what you did, recognize the sadness and pain on others faces and change it with your attitude, energy, wit, whatever it takes.

This affects all of us more than ordinary day-to-day stuff simply because this is not ordinary stuff. Why more than the sex offenders, because you know they would have to get through you before they get to your kids? Why more than the police that keep us safe, because when we see one alongside the road we think it is better that I am not getting that ticket, rather than he is keeping me safe?

Wednesday I was with my friend whose husband is at Camp Iwo Jima and a nuke/bio/chem team specialist. I would not allow the tv to be on any channel except Cartoon Network or Nickelodeon. She decided that a beer on the front porch with the kids playing soccer in the front yard was a much better evening for all of us. It is amazing how a conversation can change mid-sentence when a child walks into the room! We got lots of practice and lost our train of thought (sometimes thankfully) several times throughout the course of the evening. I only allow myself 1 hour of war coverage tv, at least I try but it is very hard.

The best thing for me happened today. I picked up my friend's 4 year old from day care. He was on the playground when I got there. They let me stay while he played and I watched the other children running, laughing, picking bugs out of the grass, and playing. No talk of war, no blues, the only tears were from a girl that "fell" when she let go of the monkey bars!! (She was not hurt, she lost the "lets see who can hang on the longest" contest.) When we left, we got ice cream and juice, and a ring pop (my friend made me stay and help with him until his sugar fix wore off!)!! I think I may have found my cure to these 'war blues' ... small kids!

It is hard to keep the balance right now because there is too much going on that is hard to understand. I have to force myself to not turn on the tv, or to change the channel. I will have to build in distractions for myself; watch movies, play with my dogs, teach my bird a new tune, wash my car, or go to the park, zoo, and playground. I don't know about anyone else, but I could sure use some more playground time!!

Sandie
 
  #3  
Old 03-26-03, 04:26 AM
maggy1
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I'm worried too

As a Canadian, I am watching the events, although only once per week or so simply because I cannot comprehend the sadness and violence.

Kay - a suggestion - for a few moments escape - read Robert Fulghums "Everythingthing I Need to Know, I learned in Kindergarten". It's a great book and one I try to live by on a daily basis.

It sheds light in spaces that haven't seen light for a long time.
 
  #4  
Old 03-26-03, 04:36 AM
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Maggy,

I've read that book before! Probably been a few years, but I will go to the library today and see if I can't score a copy.

Kay
 
  #5  
Old 04-04-03, 12:08 PM
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therapy

good therapy for the heart and soul to get away from the war coverage - i commend you guys.

i watch and read about it every day. i find it very interesting - for a veriety of reasons.

unfortunately there will never be peace on earth so we can just do our best to teach our kids about the world and protect them the best we can.
 
  #6  
Old 04-04-03, 12:54 PM
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TO MUCH TV!!!!!!

That is the biggest problem most people have with dealing with this war. We sit in front of the TV and get absorbed into every little detail of what they are telling us. Trying to figure out way the Marines are doing this or that, why the Army is going over there, why is the Navy here, why, why, why.
Than comes the professional, retired Generals, who are going to tell us the answer to all of this. Most of us, can't understand all the lingo, so we watch some more.......
All the while, our lives are passing us by. We are missing out on watching our children grow and play. They don't seem to be as touched by this as we are. Why? Because, they don't sit in front of the boob tube trying to see every bit of information the news people may be able to put out. They would rather be playing and enjoying the life the good Lord has allowed us to live. They would rather be showing the respect, gratitude and respect to all those military men and women who have gone before to give us the rights and freedoms to live our life. They do it without thinking.

I retired from the Marine Corps and I spend maybe one hour watching the news, just so I have an idea of what "may be" going on. I could get called back into the Corps, so my children and wife have to deal with that possibility. But I will be damned if I will let terrorism and evil control my family and our life or freedom to life! However, if all I was able to do is sit and watch the war unfold in front of me, discuss it 90% of the time with friends and ignore my children because of it...than they (terrorists) have won.

I have to smile to myself when the professional consultants come on the news and tell everyone what the military is going to do next. They have no better idea than you or I what the military is going to do. There is a large amount of propaganda that goes on, on both sides. We feed Iraq false information to see if they will respond, and they do the same. So take all this with a grain of salt, it may or may not be what is going to happen next.

The last "real" war the US was involved in was Vietnam, it went on for many years and ended 27 years ago. We have been in many short, brief battles or raids since, but no long term wars. So this is new to most of us. It is exciting to some, tragic to some, entertaining to some, etc... In one way or another it will touch everyone’s life and that is good...we are all alive. However, we can not let it consume us. Honor those who have fought and died for you to have the right to a free life, by living it!!!!

I presently instruct at a Marine school and I will tell you they are still a proud, loyal and dedicated group. Everyone of them volunteered to be here. They know they could end up in Iraq, they could be wounded or killed, but they are willing to do that if..."My Mom, Sister, Dad, Brother, Aunt, Uncle, Wife, Husband, Son, Daughter....can live in freedom of fear."

So rather you agree with the war or not...Support those who are willing to go, support those they leave behind. Support them and honor them, by living your life.
 
  #7  
Old 04-04-03, 01:57 PM
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My mantra today when I am down or upset about this and other things:
~~There are people out there willing to die for my right to be happy and enjoy my life & family AND there are people out there who have died for this right. I will not 'slap' them in the face by not living my life to the fullest.

Today I signed papers at the bank (Advidavit of Fraud) since someone has stolen my bankcard number and was gambling. This has truly and sincerely made me sick to my stomach. Instead of bellyaching about it, I realized that only in a free country could this be handled in such a civil manner. Or yet, be handled at all. I don't want the person who did this to lose their hand or foot. Simply have to be accountable in a civilized manner for their actions. Yes I am angry. Yes this hurt our family financially...yes, yes, yes. However, only in America do I not have to worry about them being shot, or maimed for their actions. Only in America could a regular citizen with no government affiliation or 'blessed' status could receive help in this matter.

Isn't life wonderful! Thanks to all the soldier past, present and future for helping America and Americans to have these freedoms and rights!

Kay
 

Last edited by kaybyrd; 04-07-03 at 07:20 AM.
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