Home Remedies

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Old 05-29-03, 07:30 AM
kaybyrd's Avatar
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Talking Home Remedies

SOMETIMES THE ANSWER IS SO EASY... SO WHY DIDN'T WE THINK OF THESE?
Thanks to Jim Tomes


Home Remedies

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the toilet seat by simply peeing in the sink.

4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

5. A mousetrap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the toothache.

Sometimes we Just Need to Remember What The Rules of Life Really Are...

(A) You need only two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct-tape.


(B) The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are "I apologize"
and "You are right."

(C) Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
 
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  #2  
Old 05-29-03, 08:04 AM
SOUTHERNBELL
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This is too funny! Thanks. I needed a good laugh today.
 
  #3  
Old 05-29-03, 08:22 AM
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Old 06-21-03, 09:50 AM
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Funnnnnny;
Some other words to live by if you're into doing home projects and repairs (and who among us isn't?).

"I guarantee I can fix that leak (roof), I just don't guarantee I can FIND that leak"

An experienced man doesn't tell his friends or family what it is he's building until it's complete, to make sure the finished item resembles the started project

"Well, you can't see it fom my den"!! (when working on a rental unit)

"Just one more turn (of the wrench) and this pipe will stop leaking".

"I've cut this board twice and it's still too short".

"Hey, has anyone seen the cat?" (after sheetrocking)

Frank
 
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Old 06-21-03, 10:58 PM
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Thanks for making my day! LOL!
 
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