Words Women Use

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  #1  
Old 07-17-03, 12:37 PM
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Words Women Use

Any of you other guys recognize any of these?

WORDS WOMEN USE

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your
football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING
This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. ''Nothing" usually signifies an argument that
will last "Five Minutes" and end with 'Fine'.

GO AHEAD
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing"! and will end with the word "Fine".

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a nonverbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. ! "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"
 
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  #2  
Old 07-18-03, 11:03 AM
Ashley
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hee hee
too true
 
  #3  
Old 07-18-03, 12:29 PM
harleyboy
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A man should never question the judgement of his wife, afterall, she married HIM!

Ok tow guy, that's just FINE!
But oh so true! And I'm still laughing...really!
 
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Old 07-18-03, 05:16 PM
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Wish I could take credit, but I got it in a forwarded e-mail. Very insightful.
 
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Old 07-19-03, 06:27 AM
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Women will never understand that we don't pick up on these things. If they want to spend the day with us just say so don't hint and make us feel it's allright to go fishing then when we get home we're in the dog house and don't know why.

Yes/no answers are what we need. DIRECT DIRECT DIRECT... No hints!! Just tell us directly what you need.
 
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Old 07-19-03, 06:34 AM
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As I used to tell my daughters about communicating with men, be direct. Face each, other use short sentences, and speak in block letters.

It is no secret that men and women communicate differently. Therein lies the rub.
 
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Old 07-19-03, 07:01 AM
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Yes/no answers are what we need. DIRECT DIRECT DIRECT... No hints!! Just tell us directly what you need.
Does this include when you've agreed to do something on a particular day and then you decide you want to go fishing and totally forget that you've told us that you would do this for us on the same day? I mean, afterall, we've asked directly for this favor, and you've agreed. Now you've (you've meaning my husband LOL) decided to do something else.

Of course, we would like for you to be direct as well. Instead of constantly saying you forgot, it would be nice if my DH would simply say "honey, I would much rather be doing this today" instead of "oh, I forgot". Really makes him look like an idiot, and that makes me even madder. Lots of broken promises are made by saying "oh, I forgot".

Kay
 
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Old 07-19-03, 09:13 AM
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Wink Probe on Venus just went blank.

Tow Guy asked:
Any of you other guys recognize any of these?


Oh yes we do Tow Guy. Only up untill now, I thought we had them fooled into beliving we wern't paying attention.

BTW: Have you checked back to see if the real Author, is still alive?
 
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Old 07-19-03, 09:30 PM
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That's okay!

I do need some time to think about this.
 
  #10  
Old 07-19-03, 09:37 PM
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Words Women Use

Thus, future arguments can be avoided if men remember all the terminology?
 
  #11  
Old 07-20-03, 08:18 AM
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Okay guys. I have to admit I didn't learn anything from this terminology, well, didn't put it into practice this week. No, that's not true.

I didn't know that DH (Mike) was going to buy tools this week, so I paid a bunch of bills. I saw a debit against our account at Lowes for $$$. I freaked. I paged DH asking if he bought some stuff. He said yes, and asked if it was okay. I said "it is fine". Then he asked if I was sure, and then I said: "it's okay". He said: "what's wrong?", I said: "nothing".

.....hmmm....

Kay
 
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Old 07-20-03, 08:41 AM
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Talking

ROFLMAO!!!
 
  #13  
Old 07-21-03, 10:17 AM
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Another way in which my wife is amazing...

She has managed to consolidate all of the above terminology into the LOUD SIGH and SOFT SIGH... All further interpretation is up to me... We are only a couple more words from just using sign language... ...
 
  #14  
Old 07-22-03, 08:58 AM
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Let's not forget the dreaded "evil eye"

Kay' Us men even though we can put a man on the moon are still kinda ADD/ADHD "Some say cave man also" Need constant reminding.

Also no matter how grown up we may act we're not. Farts are still funny.
 
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Old 07-22-03, 09:07 AM
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LOL. My DH thinks they are too. Bad enough that he does it, but then he laughs when the 10yo boy does it too. I just can't win can I?

Kay
 
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Old 07-22-03, 01:11 PM
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Web Host Note:

This entire thread has been edited out.

It was totally off the subject and in poor taste, in relationship to the original topic. Let's stick to the topic please.
 

Last edited by Sharp Advice; 08-02-03 at 08:53 AM.
  #17  
Old 07-23-03, 09:49 PM
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LOL.

You guys are awful!

Kay
 
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Old 08-01-03, 01:03 PM
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LOL! Right on target!
 
  #19  
Old 08-02-03, 01:08 PM
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Apparently I have learned from that list a long time ago. Lesson: it gets you no where. LOL.

I am verbal. If I am angry with you, I will more than likely tell you (only after trying to apply the listed methods) whats on my mind. Most of the time I try the listed methods simply to calm myself down or I will be a ranting idiot!

Kay
 
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