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Going to ask my girlfriend to marry me, what's the best way to look 4 a quality ring?

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  #1  
Old 09-05-05, 08:50 PM
Sawdustguy
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Going to ask my girlfriend to marry me, what's the best way to look 4 a quality ring?

Any ideas? I'm oblivious to this, since I've never done this before. I was thinking 1kt for the engagement ring and 1-1/2kt for the wedding ring with possibly 1/4kt in side stones around the band.
 
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  #2  
Old 09-06-05, 05:03 AM
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Typically the engagement ring is the one with the large diamond on it, and the wedding ring is just a band. Usually, women wear them together after you're married, so I think if both had large diamonds, it might [not] look right.

1 to 1 1/2kt for the engagement and then a band with small diamonds around it might be nice.
 

Last edited by Annette; 09-06-05 at 11:36 AM. Reason: added the word "not".
  #3  
Old 09-06-05, 11:34 AM
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CAUTION: you need to take a good hard look at her other existing jewelry and get a good idea of what she likes. pay attention to whether her existing rings are balanced in style, or asymmetrical. traditional & conservative or funky & unusual. and if applicable, if she seems to prefer stones that are channel set versus ones set in prongs. also, does she wear mostly yellow gold jewelry, or silver? if silver, you can go with white gold, or platinum.

but, if she seems particularly particular about things, i'd suggest you ask her to marry you without the ring, and then go together to find the ring. it's a really big purchase and a really important piece of jewelry to take any chances on getting wrong.

I'm the picky type, and i'd have died if my husband had picked out a ring that i didn't love. sorry to be unromantic, but she's got to wear it every day for the rest of her life, and it had better be her dream ring!!!

em69 is right - usually the engagement ring has a large center stone, and the wedding band is more of a plain band with smaller diamonds set into it or else it's a jacket, which sort of fits around the engagement ring & enhances it. you need to go to a jewelry store & see what's out there, and what the prices are. it's all about the quality of the stones (color, cut, & clarity). a 1-carat round cut diamond is less expensive than a 1-carat marquis cut diamond (like an oval but pointed on the ends). there are also square, rectangular, oval, teardrop & heart shapes! a yellow diamond is more expensive than a regular clear one. lots of little diamonds that equal 1-carat are less expensive than one big 1-carat diamond. a 1-carat diamond with virtually no occlusions is far more expensive than a 1-carat diamond with tons of occlusions (little black things called flaws) in it.

therefore, you'd be better off with fewer better quality diamonds.

what you can do (especially if you're unsure about her preferred style), is sink most of your budget into a simple engagement ring with one really fabulous quality solitaire diamond on it, and then go with a plain gold band for the wedding ring. then on your 1st or 5th or 10th anniversary, you get her a really nice diamond jacket or anniversary band. or go together to get the wedding band/jacket before the wedding. then you know she'll be happy with it.

congrats & good luck!
 
  #4  
Old 09-06-05, 01:23 PM
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This is something she is going to wear for the rest of her life, so I think it's wise to include her in the choosing process. You could buy something simple from a store with 100% trade in credit (they give you 100% of what you paid in trade on anything more expensive) and thus have a ring on you when you propose. What I did was pretend we were running some errands and when she looked at me funny when I parked in front of the jewelry store, I said "You want a ring, don't you?" That was quite a few years ago and she still tells people the story with a big smile on her face.
 
  #5  
Old 09-06-05, 01:39 PM
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that's good advice, too, but you really don't want to put her in the position of having to say that she'd rather exchange it for something else. i still think it would be better to either propose with no ring, or go with a simple solitaire and let her dress it up with the wedding band or jacket of her choice. then, once you're in the store, she may find an altogether different set that she likes better, and you could suggest that she go that route. but don't put her on the spot. i'd have rather died than told my husband i didn't like the ring he picked out for me! but then i'd have to be wearing a ring i didn't truly like. thank goodness we'd decided to get married first, and then picked out the rings together.

but you know your gal better than anyone. it's your call. just be careful!!!

P.S. make sure the store you buy the ring at also has some nice men's watches.....just in case she says no, you'll have something to exchange the ring for that you'll like!!! (seriously.....it happened to my brother - he's got a realllllllllly nice watch now though.)
 
  #6  
Old 09-06-05, 02:17 PM
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I believe Annette is giving some good advice. I gave my wife an engagement ring for Christmas [in a real big box]. I figured she was practical and I didn't need to spend a ton of money on a ring. Got what I thought was nice - small stone with big setting and she claims to treasure it. HOWEVER a few years after we married she bought a second engagement ring and told everyone I got it for her for our anniversery. Not sure if I paid for it or not. She faithfully wears all three rings and claims the ring I bought and surprised her with means as much to her as the other two, but I think I should have done better.
 
  #7  
Old 09-07-05, 12:35 PM
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don't leave us in suspense!!!

please post back & let us know what you ended up doing and/or buying!!


....and what she said!!!
 
  #8  
Old 09-07-05, 04:09 PM
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Unless you are loaded with money, don't take her to pick out her own ring. Chances are her dream ring will cost far more than your budget allows. How would it be if she fell in love with one ring that is more than you want to spend so you have to make her settle for another ring, that is still very nice, but not her 1st or 2nd choice....kinda lessons the moment! If you think she would be reasonable about it then you could try it if thats what you want to do.

Some women are different and won't expect the ring of her dreams, or would rather the money be spent more on the honeymoon, wedding, new things for the baby she will want, or whatever, and will be more than happy with the proposal and the fact that her dream man wants to marry her, rather than having the best ring possible. Then there are women who think they deserve it all.

Maybe you could ask one of her friends for some help if they can keep it secret. You could ask them to go to a store with you and show you some styles they think she would like.
 
  #9  
Old 09-09-05, 11:30 AM
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Unless you are loaded with money, don't take her to pick out her own ring.
oh, my.....

you know, this is the first of MANY times to come, when the subject of money and budget will come up in your marriage. better figure out how to handle it right now.

if you decide to go the route of asking her without the ring, when you go to pick it out, just say something like, "by the way, i have about $xxxx.xx to spend on this." what's she going to do? change her answer? if so, consider yourself lucky it was so easy to reveal her true colors, and thank your lucky stars you found out now instead of later! but i'll bet she'll be fine with it. she already has an idea of how much money you make. she's seen your car, your clothes, your house. i'm sure she'll choose something appropriate and within your means. and, again, you can sink the whole budget into the biggest best quality solitaire you can get for that amount, and a plain gold wedding band, and then add a fancy diamond anniversary band later.

i still can't wait to hear how this turns out!!! (we're all invited to the wedding, right???)
 
  #10  
Old 09-11-05, 06:08 AM
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Your wife to be may not want diamonds. Of course diamonds are nice, but my wife likes saphires better. She also likes unique designes and platinum (not white gold). Your decision may not be as simple as finding the right diamond (but the De Beers advertising does seem to have everyone convinced to use a diamond).

I am not knocking diamonds but keep in mind that they, and most precious stones have an extrememly high markup. If you are financially well off and want to spend some money then get what you want. If you are just starting out and have to watch the money I would not place too much focus on her ring. She will be happy to go down the aisle regardles of the ring.

Most jewelry stores seem to run 50% off sales for half the year, so make sure you at least buy when they are on sale. The discounts you hear on the commercials should also give you an idea how much "fluff" is built into the price of precious stones.

With stones, you get what you pay for and more expensive is usually better. If you do not live off a trust fund than my advice is: Get a color that you like and don't bother looking through a loupe. If a flaw requires a magnifiying lense to see than it is too small to worry about and nobody will ever see it. Color and size are the two details that the causual observer (when she is flashing it to her friends) can readily spot. A 1.5c stone with some flaws not visible to the naked eye will impress her friends more than a 1c stone with flaws under a 10x lense.
 
  #11  
Old 09-11-05, 08:52 PM
Sawdustguy
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Thanks for all of the advice and when the time comes to ask her, I'll let yall know what happens.

Thanks again
 
  #12  
Old 09-14-05, 09:25 PM
Sawdustguy
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This is what I bought for her birthday this coming Saturday. What do ya think?

http://www.cardow.com/catalog/produc...productId=2096
 
  #13  
Old 09-15-05, 04:00 AM
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You're gonna spoil her. Nice bracelet.
 
  #14  
Old 09-15-05, 06:22 AM
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very nice, but you'd better pace yourself, Mike!

why a bracelet? why not The Ring????? perfect opportunity......
 
  #15  
Old 09-15-05, 02:20 PM
Sawdustguy
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The bracelet is for her birthday and the ring is obviously seperate. I didn't want the two to be on the same day.

Thanks
 
  #16  
Old 09-16-05, 08:09 AM
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Sounds like Mike is buttering her up so he gets a definite YES when he gets around to proposing
 
  #17  
Old 09-16-05, 01:37 PM
Sawdustguy
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Hey Hey Hey! Not nice!

Nah, her mom and her are already "looking" for places to hold the reception.

As she says, her mom is going to have a BIG reality check on what a grandious wedding is going to cost with an approx amount of 350 people at the wedding.

""Wipes forehead"" thank gosh I'm not paying for it.
 
  #18  
Old 09-16-05, 02:28 PM
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It seems like there is no need to be asking - the issue is, she has already told him that he is going to be married to her. (this saves on kneeling for that big question)

This is the starting of the "ring in the nose" for most husbands. No choice but to "obey commands"!

From what I hear, you have a great woman, in all aspects, and she will keep you in line!!

Let's face it, you basically have no choice!!

Best of luck in ring finding and to both of you for the many years of happiness!
 
  #19  
Old 12-28-05, 08:31 AM
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Question welllllllll??????????????

So?????????????

whatever happened?? did she say yes? or did she run in the other direction? did you get married yet? did you break up? what's the deal????

i, for one, need an update!!!
 
  #20  
Old 01-04-06, 10:00 AM
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i think you shoud linclude her in your decision - you need to know what she wants - remember you are getting married and intend to spend the rest of your lives together. . . . you can still surprise her with something similar and when you do it and most important HOW YOU PROPOSE. this is what is romantic and what she will want to tell people. even though i'm a guy i like to tell people how i proposed because it's agreat story......(not to be posted here).
 
  #21  
Old 01-09-06, 12:41 PM
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Whatever you did, I sure hope that yuou din't get the ring out of a cracker jack box. Good Luck!!
 
  #22  
Old 01-12-06, 01:42 PM
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Threw this post back up there cuz I'm w/Annette and was curious...what happened?
 
  #23  
Old 01-12-06, 01:57 PM
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not entirely sure, but i think maybe SDG no longer has posting privileges since he's been changed from a "Member" to a "Guest".

sadly, i don't think any of us will ever know how it turned out.

might as well close the thread........
 
  #24  
Old 01-12-06, 01:59 PM
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Don't think there will be an update here. Poster is no longer a member of DIY.
 
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