My neighbor is going to kill me w/ a nervous breakdown

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  #1  
Old 04-10-07, 11:52 AM
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Angry My neighbor is going to kill me w/ a nervous breakdown

If any of you read the Real Estate section then you know my story. (if not, see "Home Buying and Selling", and "Law" for my post regarding the matter.

I CANNOT take their NOSEY BS anymore.

I have msgs two days in a row about them wanting me to do this and do that before I sell and give them the new buyers name and the date and time of the closing so they can have an attorney show up and have her sign the form they've been shoving down my throat since I put up my FSBO sign Three wks ago.

I am not signing crap. I am not giving closing date info. It is none of their business and I guess I am going to have to stop being nice and just tell them to not bother me with this problem anymore. I have WAY to much on my plate to be worrying about their problem. A problem I gave verbal permission 2.5 yrs ago to fix. Well, it wasn't a problem till I decided to sell. So ...... I have my own worries w/ selling this house and buying another.

/rant
 

Last edited by twelvepole; 04-10-07 at 02:44 PM. Reason: Nonprogressive language edited
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  #2  
Old 04-10-07, 07:47 PM
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Originally Posted by DIYliz View Post
I am not signing crap. I am not giving closing date info. It is none of their business and I guess I am going to have to stop being nice and just tell them to not bother me with this problem anymore.
Yup
Sounds like you have a good grasp of the situation
Just follow through with this

"Talk to the hand, 'cos the face don't wanna hear it no more"
 
  #3  
Old 04-10-07, 07:57 PM
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Just in case you go over the edge and do something you didn;t mean to, the affiliate forum for legal help is here;

http://forum.freeadvice.com/

hang in there, things have a way of working out.
 
  #4  
Old 04-11-07, 06:03 AM
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Have their phone number(s) blocked. No more messages.
 
  #5  
Old 04-11-07, 06:21 AM
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Smile

Thanks for the support. I needed an outlet for the anger I had yesterday and I honestly couldn't find enough forums to post on. lol

I have good self control but yesterday I was a little worried that if they came over to talk after I got home from work I would blow up. I had a math test last night to study for, I have so much on my plate w/ the sell of my home and the purchase of a new one and THEY know it b/c I told them how stressful all of this has been. I have told the wife several times and reminded her Monday night when I told her I wouldn't sign anything. To have the nerve to ask for that kind of info (buyer and closing) when you know your neighbor is already stressed and to add more worry to her worries is SELFISH!!!!!!!!

I thank you all for allowing me to vent and everyone being supportive. I have family but they are supposed to be supportive so the unbiased support helps me to relax.


I am in a better mood today but still on edge about the topic. I KNOW they are going to approach me about it again and it is just a matter of time. I am going to ignore all I can and when approached I hope to just say, "I am no longer dealing w/ this issue please talk to the new owner when she moves in".
 
  #6  
Old 04-11-07, 06:56 AM
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DIYLiz _ I don't want to pick a fight, but from reading your posts, you are wired way to tight - relax. You have a disagreement with your neighbors, and that can be stressful, but it shouldn't be "neck snapping" business. From your description of the problem, I just don't see what the big deal is.

The best way to unstress about this is to dump it on an attorney. I'm assuming you have one to represent you at the closing, just ask the attorney to look over the document your neighbors want you to sign (obviously don't sign anything) and make a determination if you have any liability and whether your previous verbal agreement would be considered a contract. Once you are confident of your legal position you can figure out how to calmly deal with your neighbors. Find out if they have any standing to be at the closing as an interested party. I really doubt it, but wouldn't it be nice to know exactly what the law allows?

Have you disclosed the situation to your buyer? Ask your attorney if you are obligated to do so. If I were a buyer, and found out there was some pre-existing agreement that impacted on my enjoyment of my new home, guess who I would be looking at for compensation - not the neighbor.

Your neighbors are trying to look out for their interests. They may be nosy, insufferable jerks, or you may be over reacting because you dislike them - or both. Have you considered that the drainage work hasn't been done yet because they are trying to put together the money? Whatever the reason, relax. Pay a lawyer a few bucks to resolve the problem and protect your interest.
 
  #7  
Old 04-11-07, 10:07 AM
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Wayne, I understand that you aren't trying to pick a fight and appreciate the advice.

However, in my defense of being wound tight (yes I am). I work full time (stressful job but I like it), go to college (6 credit hrs), I am planning a wedding for July (most everything is done but it's still stressful), purchasing a new home, selling current home, finishing up landscaping and stuff around home for last few months has REALLY taken its toll on me mentally.

BUT I would much rather get this all done at once and therefore welcome the stress all at once instead of being spread out.

Also, I understand they are protecting their investment. AND the wife openly admitted to me they dragged their feet and are only pursing b/c they fear the new owner will not allow them to dig on the new owners property.

So, while I gave them verbal permission that I would comply it came w/ restrictions. So they have nothing in writing stating that I gave them permission. My problem is the PRINCIPLE. How can they totally disregard my right to my privacy and my buyers privacy?

I informed the buyer of the situation when she first came to look at the home. This was before neighbors approached me about the easement agreement. I told her they want to fix problem and it was up to her as to what she wanted to do if she purchased the home.

I don' t have an attorney. I never felt I needed one for closing. But w/ all this BS I now see I am going to have to get one.

This is ridiculous, a wast or my time and my resources and I am honestly sick of it.

I may very well have this attorney write the neighbors a letter informing them to not approach me about this issue again. That is if I hold no legal responsibility which I do believe I don't.
 
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Old 04-11-07, 10:29 AM
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Personally I wouldn't consider closing on a home without the advice of a lawyer. I don't like to pay them anymore than the next guy but selling/buying real estate without one is too risky for me.
 
  #9  
Old 04-11-07, 11:35 AM
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"I don' t have an attorney. I never felt I needed one for closing. But w/ all this BS I now see I am going to have to get one. "

Wow! A high wire act without a net. IIRC your sale is a FSBO. You don't even have a realtor to depend on.

Get a lawyer and know what questions to ask. Explain the situation directly without the negative embellishments about stress, your privacy and "nosy neighbors". As a minimum you should ask if the agreement is a contract, does/can it convey, and were you legally remiss in not informing the buyer. Do you have any liability if you just ignore your neighbor's? Can they be considered an interested 3rd party? Then ask the lawyer to represent you at the closing.

Liz - Your posts all focus on the impact on you, have you considered the impact on your neighbors? Your characterization of the probelm as BS tells it all. It isn't BS, if your neighbor is outside pumping runoff in the middle of winter he must not think it's BS. It's a problem that may impact on your ability to sell your property and you are chosing to ignore it. I thought you came her for advice, not sympathy. Why do you keep focusing on being stressed instead of on fixing the problem?

"My problem is the PRINCIPLE."

What about the principle of standing by your word? I know that's old fashioned, but it's not a bad deal. You would be surprised at how much satisfaction can come from doing the right thing.

IMO even if (that's where the lawyer comes in) you don't have a legal obligation to stand by your agreement, I believe you have a moral one. That doesn't mean much anymore, but it seems to me that there is a lot you could do to ease your neighbors concerns. Instead you choose to focus entirely on your own. Reread your posts objectively and you'll see what I mean.

My wife and I were 20 years old when we closed on our first house. we didn't know squat about anything. The lender required that a lawyer represent us at the closing. The lawyer was a kid probably right out of law school. I wasn't very impressed until she discovered that there was a problem with the property. The previous owner had given a written easement for a neighbor's driveway that had not been approved by the town. Money had exchanged hands. It delayed the closing by a week, but was amicably resolved and we had a good neighbor for years.
 
  #10  
Old 04-11-07, 01:24 PM
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Actually I do have a realtor. I have had one to talk w/ every step of the way and she has given good advice. While she isn't getting paid from my sell, she is from my purchase and she continues to tell me to ask away, and I do. I never brought this issue up until today though. She gave her opinion which she feels I am in the right w/ all this.

I stated I DID inform the buyer? I haven't informed her of the easement agreement b/c as far as I am concerned to little to late they had 2.5 yrs and I have an accepted purchase agreement. I am not signing anything for my neighbors to have any permission to dig on this property after I sell it. They should have done this 2.5 yrs ago. It is only costing them 2-3K. They've had the money and didn't need the time to save. The are only acting out of THEIR best interest which is causing me undue stress.

I considered their impact the first time I saw the water pool up after I purchased the home and they approached me about the problem. My consideration of having this project completed MEANT in a timely manor, not when I decided to put the home up for sale. The neighbor deals w/ this problem MAYBE 3 times a year and HIS sump pump contributes to the problem. It obviously wasn't THAT big of an issue to get them to get estimates and have an easement drawn up UNTIL I put the house on the market.

As stated above, I did stick by my word and have given them ample time to complete this. Now that I have a signed and accepted offer I am sorry, to little to late. THEY HAD 2.5 yrs. Do they only care about themselves, YES. Do they care if I sell, NO. They don't and thats what you don't see. They have even told me they are scared to death they'll get a "bad" neighbor. Well I don't see the problem other than they'll have one more "bad" neighbor to use their binoculars on.

What about them doing the right thing and STOP trying to stand in my way and putting so much pressure on me when there is already pressure from the sell and purchase. They are disrupting my life w/ what only concerns them at this point.

If you were put under the pressure I have been lately YOU would possibly feel the same way. IF I weren't selling the home there would not be an issue on my part. The FACT that I am selling and they WAITED till the last minute tells me they don't have any morals.

I was upset 99% of the time I posted. I am CERTAIN I do come off in a selfish manor. But again, I have a house to sell, I have a contract, neighbors don't take action until this is done, neighbors are now at a point of harassing me, I have already purchased another home so if this sale falls though, I WOULD BE THE ONLY ONE to lose. NOT my neighbors. I would end up in foreclosure, bad credit, homeless....BUT hey I guess from the way you put it my neighbors problem trumps what COULD be mine. Lets just say if the shoes were on the other foot. I WOULDN'T be doing what they have AND the PROBLEM would have been fixed SOON after they told me I could fix it. Not 2.5yrs later when they put a FSBO sign in the yard. Again, no consideration of the other.

I am talking to an attorney and I will update as needed.


MODERATOR NOTE: Forum rules: Never degrade any other person and/or the information any member provides. Treat each other with the highest respect, dignity, professionalism and an overall highest regards at all times.
 

Last edited by twelvepole; 04-11-07 at 02:11 PM. Reason: No debates allowed in forums.
  #11  
Old 04-12-07, 06:51 AM
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Liz - You should be aware that the realtor you "have" is actually working for the seller and no matter how helpful she is in answering your questions, the bottom line is that she is looking out for the seller's interest.
 
  #12  
Old 04-12-07, 10:36 AM
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Wayne- Our realtor is working for us and we signed an agreement that she represents us. She is not the listing agent of the home we are buying and is in no way affiliated w/ the realtor or agency that has the home listed. We have been working w/ her for 6 months and have gotten to know her pretty well. She did a fair market analysis on my current home to help me price it EVEN when she knew I was placing it FSBO. In the 6 months we have been looking we have viewed up to 50 homes and the one we are buying is the FIRST home we have made an offer on. She represents us in the purchase not the seller. They have their own realtor. ;-)

UPDATE:

Spoke to a attorney who I have dealt w/ through my job and is a floor above my office. He informed me that I am correct in not signing the easement agreement b/c of the accepted offer w/ the buyer. He informed me that I should take the copies of the easement agreement and discuss them w/ the buyer prior to closing and from here on out it is in the buyers hand. B/c my nieghbors didn't produce the easment agreement to me prior to me accepting the offer I had nothing to disclose to the buyer. .

I spoke w/ the buyer on the phone and informed her of the situation. She stated she DID NOT WANT a 3rd party at closing as well as I told her I did not either. She said she would look over the easement agreement and determin if she is interested in signing. I informed her I still plan to have my attorney look it over and that I suggested she do the same once she takes possession to protect herself.

I don't believe this will effect my sell but it still bothers me that the neighbors waited till the last minute.
 
  #13  
Old 04-12-07, 03:27 PM
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Glad to hear that you got an attorney involved and your buyer didn't bolt. Just one last question - Who is paying your realtor's commission?
 
  #14  
Old 04-12-07, 03:43 PM
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Originally Posted by Wayne Mitchell View Post
Glad to hear that you got an attorney involved and your buyer didn't bolt. Just one last question - Who is paying your realtor's commission?

are you serious?!

Here in IN the seller usually pays the buyers realtor. Usually the sellers realtor has the seller sign a contract that the seller will pay that realtor a certain % (5-7%). Then if another realtor bring in a buyer those realtors either split the commission or work out some type of deal.

If buyer signs a contract w/ realtor that realtor represents buyer buyers realtor cannot legally disclose any info such as buyers bottom $ to sellers realtor and vice versa.
 
  #15  
Old 04-12-07, 08:56 PM
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Interesting thread so I'll throw in my 2 cents CDN which is only worth about 1.5 cents US.

My first thought is that your neighbor had every opportunity to do something and never followed through. You don't morally or legally need to atone for their tardiness.

Before my neighbor sold his house, he said I could turn the backboard on his basketball net (pole was between our driveways) so it faced my driveway making it mine.

I never followed through and when the new people moved in I knew I had lost my opportunity. "Morally" I did not think it was right to start whining after the fact even though my ex-neighbor encouraged me to do it and he would back me up.

Really though, if it was something YOU had agreed to, it probably makes sense and was the right thing to do so your buyer will likely go along with the original plan. Maybe much about nothing.

PS: I have bought or sold 20+ fsbo's. When I buy, I sometimes purchase insurance that protects against easments and stuff. My lawyer sells it. Its cheap. Wonder if that works in the US? My lawyer only charges approx 400.00 to process the sale and perform the due dillegence. Its all quite simple up here or maybe I've been very lucky.
 
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Old 04-12-07, 09:27 PM
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[QUOTE=DIYliz;1158115]
Here in IN the seller usually pays the buyers realtor. Usually the sellers realtor has the seller sign a contract that the seller will pay that realtor a certain % (5-7%). Then if another realtor bring in a buyer those realtors either split the commission or work out some type of deal.

QUOTE]

that's close but not quite correct. The seller only pays the broker they have a contract with. If the commission is split with a buyers rep, that is beyond the contract.

You are correct in a practical point of view since the money the seller pays their broker is typically slpit with the buyers broker, there is no contractual agreement for the seller to pay the buyers broker but in essence the seller does pay the buyers broker. (please do not confuse the my use of the term of "buyers broker" in this paragraph as referring to an actual buyers broker which is explained below. My use in this paragraph is meant only to refer to the broker that brought the buyer to the sale but not contracted as a buyers agent)

That is where your last sentence would come into play. If there is an agreement between the sellers broker and the buyers broker, it is up to those 2 entities and them alone. It actually does not involve the seller at all.
============

Now to the who has an agency with what real estate broker.

In a typical agreement in Indiana, it is one sided. Since the seller has engaged into a contract with an agent, there is a duty for that agent to represent the seller against all others. Now, barring another contract (such as a buyers agent and agreement) when a RE agent (other than the original agent) shows and sells the property, they are doing so as an agent by extension of the agreement and have a duty to the seller, just the same as the origianl agent (fiduciary duty). They do not represent the buyer or the buyers interest.

Now if there is a buyer with a buyers agent, that agent has the same relationship and duty to their client (the buyer) as the sellers agent does to their client. This agent has no duty to the seller other than to act legally and ethically.

diyliz's final statement would apply to any agent in regards to their prospective client.
 
  #17  
Old 04-13-07, 06:43 AM
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I was asking 140k for a property that was a fsbo. When a buyer showed up with an agent that wanted commision, I said they could work out the commision between them but I wanted 140k. They bought it for 138k and paid their agent themselves. Don't know or care what they paid their agent.
 
  #18  
Old 04-13-07, 08:33 AM
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Nap - My understanding has always been that unless specifically contracted to act as a buyers agent, a realtor's (including one not contracted by the seller) obligation is to represent the seller.

If I walk into a real estate office looking to buy a property, that agent is going to look for something that meets my requirements, as a representative of the seller. Their commision will come from the seller's money.

My point with DIYLIZ was that unless she has contracted with her realtor as a buyer's agent, the realtor is in fact acting for the seller.

Years ago I contracted with a realtor to act as a buyer's agent. I paid a flat fee plus a bonus that depended on the final sale price. It was a long time ago, but IIRC the contract was very specific in prohibiting a buyer's agent from receiving a commision from the seller or the seller's representative. Do you know if that is usually the case?
 
  #19  
Old 04-13-07, 04:31 PM
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Originally Posted by Wayne Mitchell View Post
a buyers agent, a realtor's (including one not contracted by the seller) obligation is to represent the seller.

If I walk into a real estate office looking to buy a property, that agent is going to look for something that meets my requirements, as a representative of the seller. Their commision will come from the seller's money.
Do you know if that is usually the case?
that is why I worded my response as I did. Yes, the money ultilmately does come from the seller in a typical situation such as you posted. Ultimately but not directly. Actually the selling broker pays the buying broker. The split agreed upon is a contract between those two entities. It all gets mixed together in the closing and is hard to follow directly.

I have been involved in deals where the sellers agency lowered their percentage of the total commission to expedite a sale and I have seen the sellers agent offer very little to a buyers brokerage( note: not speaking of an actual buyers broker, merely the buyers side of the selling brokerage).



Your buyers agency situation would be typical for a buyers agreement. It is not a good idea for the buyers agent to recieve compensation from the seller since the buyers agent does have a duty to the buyer but is actually adversarial to the seller. I don;t know if it is actually illegal but it can look bad and cause some concerns.
 
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