i'm so bored!

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  #1  
Old 08-07-07, 02:19 PM
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Thumbs down i'm so bored!

is it possible to be so bored that you can actually hear the little "pop" sound of brain cells dying??????

i say, yes, it is. and mine are going quickly.

anyone else bored? remember when Chats & Whines was fun? anyone got a good joke to tell? anything? anyone? hello? is this thing on?

<pop>

 
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  #2  
Old 08-07-07, 05:17 PM
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Ya know, when I was a kid, I never dared say "I'm bored" around my mother. That was a guaranteed chore of some sort, right NOW. It must have warped my poor psyche because those words give me hives to this day. Are you blond? I'm sort of hoping so because the following is meant to offend. Ya see, offended folks are too busy being offended to be bored and I'm just tryin' ta help here, OK?

Why can't a blond double a recipe?

She can't figure out how to get the oven to 750 degrees.
 
  #3  
Old 08-07-07, 06:54 PM
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OK, here's one for you Smokey and Annette should get a kick out of it, too.

WINTER CLASSES FOR MEN AT
THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY, Jan.30,2008
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoid ing The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor ---
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum .
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing .
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses,
diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

 
  #4  
Old 08-07-07, 08:59 PM
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Lol!! That's pretty go... I mean, uh, err, um, I don't get it. I thought we were supposed to be telling jokes here.
 
  #5  
Old 08-08-07, 04:57 AM
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Annette:
Yes it is, and please keep it down over there
Also: It's harder to find this section since the re-org
It used to be in what I used as the main directory, the directory up top
It's not any more
I actually thought it was removed completely, until I was searching for something else using the "tree" directory
I guarantee there are many others who don't see this in the top directory. so don't know it's here
That could be part of the slowdown in here

Shadie:
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha....
 
  #6  
Old 08-08-07, 05:26 AM
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Come on over, I've got an entire house to remodel and a huge party on Saturday to prep for. If you help with the party, you get free food/beer/live music all day and you get to park in the driveway too!
 
  #7  
Old 08-08-07, 06:52 AM
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Curing boredom is easy - Get away from the TV and the computer. DO SOMETHING! Hopefully something constructive.

I was raised the same as Smokey - A complaint about boredom when I was a kid got me a whole list of things that needed doing and it worked. Now I pretty much make my own list. Some days it's projects and honey do's and other days it's golf or fishing.
 
  #8  
Old 08-08-07, 06:56 AM
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sorry, i forgot to mention that i'm stuck at work. believe me - if i could be at home or anywhere else, i wouldn't have this problem.

cute jokes, btw. keep em coming!
 
  #9  
Old 08-08-07, 08:58 AM
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1) "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
--Drew Carey

2) "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base."
--Dave Barry

3) "A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: "Duh."
--Conan O'Brien

4) "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner."
--Lynda Montgomery

5) "Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."
--Mark Twain

6) Do you know why they call it "PMS"? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was taken.

7) "Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

Okay, coffee break's over, back to work.
 

Last edited by the_tow_guy; 08-09-07 at 04:40 AM.
  #10  
Old 08-08-07, 09:10 AM
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i knew the tow guy would come to my rescue!

thanks!
 
  #11  
Old 08-08-07, 09:20 AM
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Wink

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large,
raging violent river. Needing to get on the other side, the first man prayed,
"God, please give me the strength to cross the river."

Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim
across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.

After witnessing that, the second man prayed, "God, please give me
strength and the tools to cross the river."

Poof! God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he was
able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.

Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed,'God!,
please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross the
river."
&nbs p;
Poof! He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked one hundred
yards up stream and walked across the bridge.

>
 
  #12  
Old 08-08-07, 09:44 AM
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Knock knock.....
 
  #13  
Old 08-08-07, 10:26 AM
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Who's there?
 
  #14  
Old 08-08-07, 10:36 AM
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Nobody...........
 
  #15  
Old 08-08-07, 10:37 AM
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nobody who.....?
 
  #16  
Old 08-09-07, 08:47 PM
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A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee
and he sees a sign in front of a broken down
shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings
the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog
is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking
Labrador retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog
talk, he says "So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I
could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help
the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all
they had the jetting from country to country, sitting
in rooms with spies and world leaders; because no one
figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I wa s one of
their most valuable spies for eight years running."

"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I
knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to
settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to
do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious
characters and listening in."

"I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded
a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of
puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner
what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are
you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that stuff. "
 
  #17  
Old 08-10-07, 07:44 AM
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LOL!!

And to show I'm not a man basher, here's one for you guys

A MAN'S POINT OF VIEW

First the Lord made man in the Garden of Eden.
Then he said to himself, "There's something he's needing.'"
After casting about for a suitable pearl,
He kept messing around and created a girl.

Two beautiful legs, so long and so slender,
Round, slim, and firm, and ever so tender.
Two lovely hips to increase his desire,
And rounded and firm to bring out the fire.
Two lovely breasts, so full and so proud,
Commanding his eyes, as he whispers aloud.
Two lovely arms, just aching to bless you,
And two loving hands, to soothe and caress you.
Soft, cascading hair hung down over her shoulder,
And two dreamy eyes, just to make him grow bolder.
'Twas made for a man, just to make his heart sing.



Then he added a mouth.
RUINED THE WHOLE DAMN THING!!!

 
  #18  
Old 08-10-07, 10:11 PM
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Location: Canadian Prairies
Posts: 352
I hardly ever get bored, its just too boring to be bored.

We spent 6 out of the last 7 weeks going to family reunions and vacationing or having people at our house. I love visiting, drinking, eating, golfing but how can anyone spend their days doing that! Gag! Gained 10 lbs and became an alcoholic.

"Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?"

So other husbands feel the need to "advise" their wives on driving? Whew, my wife said I was the only one!
 
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