What should I do about this?

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  #1  
Old 01-23-14, 01:51 PM
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Angry What should I do about this?

My mom is signing me up (behind my back by the way) for schools that I do not want to go to, and have told her a few hundred times at least. Now, she is bugging the crap out of everyone I know for letters of recommendation, and wasting everyone in the school's and my school's time for transcript papers. Now tomorrow, she is making me miss school, drive two hours and waste a whole tank of gas, sit through interviews with this school that I do not want to go to. (and what should I say to them anyway?) I am at a loss here because she is not listening and signing me up for stuff anyway. Not to mention, she is giving away my email, phone number, social security number, and who else knows what.
 
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  #2  
Old 01-23-14, 02:14 PM
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I don't know the answer but any solution is going to involve you sitting down with your mother and discussing the issue. Maybe enlisting some other family members into the discussion might help.

You do know she just wants the best for you
 
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Old 01-23-14, 04:50 PM
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Is it that you don't want to go to any school, or the schools your mother is suggesting?
 
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Old 01-23-14, 05:02 PM
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You're very talented. We know it ..... she knows it.

She wants to see you get an education. You don't want to. You want to go right to work from high school. I know..... been there done that. In today's climate an education is a powerful tool.

Like has been asked.... what kind of school is she looking at ?
 
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Old 01-23-14, 05:45 PM
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Is it that you don't want to go to any school, or the schools your mother is suggesting?
Just the schools she is picking. She is especially insisting I go to this one off-the-wall, boys only school 100 miles away (one way), which is a 3-year school full of "filler classes", with an extremely strict schedule (up at 6 and not done classes until 10). Not only that, but what it teaches, I do not want to do.

What I want is a ~2 year technical school. Preferably night classes.
 
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Old 01-23-14, 05:47 PM
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Justin, if you plan on furthering your education, set up your own interviews, and get yourself signed up on your own. Too much talent to waste, hoss. Let everyone waste their time, not yours.
 
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Old 01-23-14, 05:55 PM
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What do you think about NJIT Justin?

New Jersey Institute of Technology

Are you looking at a basic Liberal arts type college?
 
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Old 01-23-14, 06:52 PM
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Sometimes having a trusted third party available who can suggest alternatives like a school guidance counselor can help a situation. Perhaps your guidance counselor can get you a scholarship to a school you would like to go to with your hard work. Parents sometimes send their kids off to schools because they are concerned they haven't learned enough while in high school. I would certainly voice my concerns with the person you meet at the school your mother wants you to go to. Maybe they have the same types of courses available.

If they don't have the same courses then maybe your just asking if they do will alert them that you are really not interested in their school. A school could reject you just on that basis alone. I certainly think though that you need to sit down with your mother and ask her why she is doing what she is. I certainly wish you well and hope you straighten this out so both you and your mother are satisfied.
 
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Old 01-23-14, 07:10 PM
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IMHO...look at the Pro's here. Many have degrees of one sort or another. Some have multiple I believe. I'll bet none will tell you it was waste of time. I spent well over 2 years in Navy tech schools including Nuclear power training....and even though I didn't follow that path...what I learned made me a more rounded person. The college courses I took and all my military training gave me about 75% of the credits I needed for a BS....but I just didn't want to take all the "stupid" stuff. I regret not following through every single day!

Sit down with Mom...maybe a trusted teacher or mentor could be there...and tell her. So you don't want to be an English major or whatever...but how about an EE degree? How could she disagree with that? Not only can you work in a field you appear to have great talent and interest in....you could work at a level far above the average tech school grad.
 
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Old 01-23-14, 08:45 PM
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Thanks for all the stuff to think about, guys.
Justin, if you plan on furthering your education, set up your own interviews, and get yourself signed up on your own. Too much talent to waste, hoss. Let everyone waste their time, not yours.
That's what I've been doing, until my mom stepped in. Now, my mom never went to a college or technical school after high school. One theory I have is she is trying to re-live her childhood through her children, based on her actions raising my sisters and what she told me when I was younger. (I'm the oldest.) I have a feeling this may be what she's trying to do here.


What do you think about NJIT Justin?

New Jersey Institute of Technology

Are you looking at a basic Liberal arts type college?

Thanks for the suggestion, I will be sure to check it out tomorrow.

I'm looking for a technical school. I'll say why later.

Sometimes having a trusted third party available who can suggest alternatives like a school guidance counselor can help a situation. Perhaps your guidance counselor can get you a scholarship to a school you would like to go to with your hard work. Parents sometimes send their kids off to schools because they are concerned they haven't learned enough while in high school. I would certainly voice my concerns with the person you meet at the school your mother wants you to go to. Maybe they have the same types of courses available.

If they don't have the same courses then maybe your just asking if they do will alert them that you are really not interested in their school. A school could reject you just on that basis alone. I certainly think though that you need to sit down with your mother and ask her why she is doing what she is. I certainly wish you well and hope you straighten this out so both you and your mother are satisfied.
Unfortunately, the guidance counselor in my school wants everyone to go to a 4-year minimum college, graduate as C.P. curriculum, and vote Democrat. Anything other that, and you are thrown under the bus.

I know all of the schools I have visited on my own have told me there is a lot of scholarships out there, and they said they are willing to look with me, even if I don't use their school in the end.

My mom won't give a straight answer, all she'll do is start screaming like usual. I think the reason she wants me to go "her" schools is because she wants to re-live her childhood through me. In the end, however, I'm the one who will be paying off student loans and working in my field, not her.

IMHO...look at the Pro's here. Many have degrees of one sort or another. Some have multiple I believe. I'll bet none will tell you it was waste of time. I spent well over 2 years in Navy tech schools including Nuclear power training....and even though I didn't follow that path...what I learned made me a more rounded person. The college courses I took and all my military training gave me about 75% of the credits I needed for a BS....but I just didn't want to take all the "stupid" stuff. I regret not following through every single day!

Sit down with Mom...maybe a trusted teacher or mentor could be there...and tell her. So you don't want to be an English major or whatever...but how about an EE degree? How could she disagree with that? Not only can you work in a field you appear to have great talent and interest in....you could work at a level far above the average tech school grad.
I definitely don't think too much education could hurt. I know for sure I want to go to tech school for 2 years or so. After that, I may either go right into the workforce, or get an EE degree as has been suggested by many people. I figure having as much practical knowledge as possible is best before I go into the technical end of thing, so I have a better understanding, and can be a better engineer. One thing I hate hearing on electrical boards is the ec's complaining about the engineers not having practical knowledge.
 
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Old 01-23-14, 09:00 PM
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If your 18 check the local electric union hiring hall for a helper or apprentice job. Getting a job and moving out may be bad for family relationships but good for you in the long run. Lots of on line colleges now that aren't scams so it is possible to work full time and still get a degree.
 
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Old 01-24-14, 02:47 AM
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As Vic said, some of us have degrees. I have one, PLUS I have diplomas from technical colleges. By far the technical diplomas have helped round out my knowledge base. There is nothing wrong with attending technical schools. Some people aren't cut out for the degree programs offered by some colleges. I'll restrain from commenting on your statement regarding what your guidance counselors said, but that is the tendency of liberal schooling. Heck, how do you think they get the name "liberal" arts colleges? Enough politics.

Bottom line for me, I'd rather do what I have been doing for the last 20 years, post tech training, than what I did for the first 20 years, hands down. That is not to say the education was not worth it. And it is not saying the first 20 years were a waste. It is a matter of liking what you do.

I could not see a Justin Smith, PhD, sorry.
 
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Old 01-24-14, 03:10 AM
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About 50 years ago I went to a 2 year auto tech school the classes I took that I didn't see any point into at the time are the one's I still use today. All the basics that I thought I knew. Never know what helps the most.
 
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Old 01-24-14, 03:16 AM
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the classes I took that I didn't see any point into at the time is the one's I still use today
How true! Back in high school when we took geometry, I saw no point in learning that stuff. When I started estimating/billing jobs based on sq footage or ordering material based on sq ft - I wished I had studied a little harder.

I do agree that some of us are better suited for a technical school than an university.
 
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Old 01-24-14, 06:52 AM
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While it may sound childish, what I ended up doing was waking up early before she got up, getting ready, and going to school. She of course threw a huge fit, tried to drag me out of school, but they of course wouldn't let her. (Their ridiculous policies actually worked for once)
 
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Old 01-24-14, 11:31 AM
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No not childish at least not in my opinion but you can't avoid your mom forever. I understand how it is with guidance counselors they sometimes are not helpful at all, at least they were not when I was in high school. How about someone outside of school perhaps someone who you had a job with and they were satisfied with your work. Perhaps talking with that person will help and help your mom understand your position better.

The guys here who have gone to college are right though in saying that they learned things they could use in their lifetime and a college without distractions isn't all that bad either it can also have advantages too. So there are always two sides to every issue and always ways to work things out when you face them head on.
 
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Old 01-24-14, 11:46 AM
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I never meant to sound like a tech school was a bad thing...just that too much focus on a specific subject w/o going outside the lines doesn't give you everything. My Nuke school was 48 hrs a week classroom with an additional 30-40 hrs self study. Chemistry, thermodynamics and fluid flow, advanced math, and a few others. All my outside college courses were things like history, philosophy, religions, English, etc.
 
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Old 01-24-14, 11:52 AM
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Justin what feild is it you actually want to pursue????
 
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Old 01-26-14, 05:32 PM
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So now that I have time to think and reply thoroughly:
No not childish at least not in my opinion but you can't avoid your mom forever. I understand how it is with guidance counselors they sometimes are not helpful at all, at least they were not when I was in high school. How about someone outside of school perhaps someone who you had a job with and they were satisfied with your work. Perhaps talking with that person will help and help your mom understand your position better.
I've been talking to almost every person in the electrical industry I come across. I don't like having my mom around because she can't get facts straight for some reason and confuses everyone.

I never meant to sound like a tech school was a bad thing...just that too much focus on a specific subject w/o going outside the lines doesn't give you everything. My Nuke school was 48 hrs a week classroom with an additional 30-40 hrs self study. Chemistry, thermodynamics and fluid flow, advanced math, and a few others. All my outside college courses were things like history, philosophy, religions, English, etc.
Yeah, having that all looks better on a resume.


Justin what feild is it you actually want to pursue????
Electrical. Specifically commercial and industrial wiring, automation, motor controls, etc.
 
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Old 01-27-14, 03:45 AM
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Justin. One of my diplomas is in Residential and Commercial Wiring. It covered everything you mentioned, plus some. It was a two year course, self paced at a local technical college. I already had good electrical knowledge before I took it, but I learned so much more, and how to do things smarter and correctly.

If you are close to graduation, you can go ahead and sign yourself up without having anyone there, not sure of your local schools regs. Once you are signed up, you can't be committed elsewhere, right?
 
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Old 01-27-14, 04:19 AM
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Electrical. Specifically commercial and industrial wiring, automation, motor controls, etc.
IMO you should be doing more then that... Probably like your mom I would say get a B.S. At a minimum...
 
  #22  
Old 01-27-14, 08:10 AM
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I agree having a B.S. at the very least will give you a more rounded education and make it more likely that you will get hired. College is expensive though so maybe you might want to go a a community college first and then go to a state college and finish your degree after you get a job. It will be cheaper and faster too and you will still get a good education.

Most plumbers and contractors you will find have had some college and the ones who don't I don't generally deal with but will in some circumstances. I agree though go ahead and sign up and try to get a scholarship if you can. If you are already signed up then they can't sign you up elsewhere.
 
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Old 01-27-14, 08:39 AM
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I never did collage as it was never a fit for me. I went to 2 year tech school for graphics/printing and then went night school when I changed trades to electrical.

Remember, if your footing the bill you can do whatever you want. If she's paying, then I think she has a say. You could just try it for a semester and see what its like. However, if you do not want to do it your not going to put 100% into it and it will just be a waste of money.
 
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Old 01-31-14, 11:27 PM
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I did visit one two-year technical college Tuesday that I absolutely loved. The courses are real in-depth, instructors seemed nice and knowledgeable, and the students reminded me of my friends.
 
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Old 02-01-14, 12:53 AM
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Justin, whatever you do be sure to take English language courses so that you do not make the common mistakes made by so many on these forums. Learn the difference between their, there and they're. Also seem and seam. Many others as well. NOTHING makes a person appear more ignorant than misuse of his native language.
 
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Old 02-01-14, 04:43 AM
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It would also be good to take some business courses. Whether you work as an employee or go out on your own, the more you know about the business aspects of your trade the more valuable you become
 
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