Another couple of silly true story's in my travels.

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  #1  
Old 08-19-15, 06:42 AM
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Another couple of silly true story's in my travels.

One weekend we where going on a canoe trip on the James River in Wingina VA where we took Handicap people down the river.
Now this place is way out in the sticks, we stopped at the first place we saw in the "town" with gas pumps out front to get some gas.
There was a sign in the window that said they opened at 9:00 but no one was there yet.
While we where waiting for them to open a pickup truck that looked like it should have been junked long ago pulled up to the other side of the pumps.
The guy driving the truck was bald except for a ponytail, cross eyed and looked like he only had one tooth.
We asked when they opened up and he says "I guess he'll get around to when he wakes up".
Then we asked where there was another place to get gas because where in a hurry.
He says "One just up the road a piece". So why are you sitting here instead of going to the other place?
He reply's " truck was headed this way".
Later that morning where lost looking for the boat ramp and see an old black guy riding his lawn mower down the middle of the road.
He pulls over and tries to give us directions.
He says you go down one see and make a left (while pointing right) go to the next see and make a right (while pointing left)
We had asked what a "see" was.
He says you go as far as you can see then turn anyone knows that.
 
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Old 08-19-15, 06:51 AM
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I don't care who you are, that's funny!
 
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Old 08-19-15, 07:42 AM
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Funny, lol!
 
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Old 08-19-15, 08:44 AM
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My VA relatives must be near-sighted. Their directions never went beyond "yonder".

 
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Old 08-19-15, 10:15 AM
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My stepson used to live in southwest virginia and a common phrase in the local directions was 'turn [or go past] where the purple house was that burnt down' I guess that worked if you remembered the purple house
 
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Old 08-19-15, 10:27 AM
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When I was in the home repair business I'd have people start their instructions with "Turn at the 7-11". This in a large city at a time when every major street and road had many 7-11s.

Since I always "Key Mapped" I'd just ask for nearest major intersection so I could verify when I mapped it. Amazing how many couldn't answer that question intelligently or ask what I meant. (No, a one block long dead end street is not a major intersection.)
 
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Old 08-19-15, 10:35 AM
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GPS sure has changed things One of the first paint outfits I worked for had big maps plastered on the office wall so if you had to start a new job and didn't know where it was - you could find it on the map before you left out.

I don't know why but I've never been good at remembering road names. I pick up on routes fairly quick and seldom get lost but just can't remember the road names .... so when possible if someone asks for directions, I refer them to my wife.
 
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Old 08-19-15, 11:34 AM
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My girl friend bought a new Ford Edge but had never used the GPS.
We where suppost to be staying at her brothers house in NC right off of Rt. 95 on our way to FL.
She programed the GPS with his address.
Should have been about a 4 hour trip from our house.
I tried to tell her several times the GPS was wrong and we where heading south west instead of due south.
After 7 hours of driving she pulled over yelling at me to shut up about going the wrong way and just keep going.
Instead I pulled out the manual.
The GPS was set on "avoid major highways".
Never heard another word the rest of the way.
Often times the GPS is just wrong.
The road my Dad's camp is on is a narrow dirt road that dead ends and always has, it ends at a wide brook where there's never been a bridge.
GPS shows the road goes around the whole lake.
Two other times it tried to put us on over grown logging trails.
So we carry maps as a plan B.
 
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Old 08-19-15, 11:43 AM
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My wife's GPS tickles me. My gravel driveway is a little more than a 1/4 mile long. If you turn it on before you leave the house [or were to hit return to the house] it asks if you want to avoid unpaved roads. If you punch yes you get a message saying you can't get there from here
 
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Old 08-19-15, 01:47 PM
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Sounds like something someone from Maine would say when you ask directions.
 
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Old 08-19-15, 05:54 PM
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Often times the GPS is just wrong.
Got that right! My sister lives in a small development across the street from the city limits of a fair-sized "upscale" city. This development was built in 2006. Putting her address into a GPS invariably leads a person to a location about five miles west of her.
 
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Old 08-20-15, 03:15 AM
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Joe, Tim Sample likes that line as well.
My brother was a volunteer at the fire department and one Sat I stopped by as several volunteers were sitting outside enjoying a sunny day. Shortly, a tourist pulled in and asked directions to someones house. Well, one guy started off with the directions only to be corrected by another saying, isn't that the house old Bill took the front steps off of in the winter of 89. Every land mark or turning point had a local history which they had to argue about and before they completed the instructions the tourists drove away.

It wasn't planned, we just live in Maine and that is how you give directions, with history.

Bud
 
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Old 08-20-15, 08:48 AM
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GPS is great...most of the time. Out here, we normally lose a couple of tourists each year. The GPS in their rental cars will send them from Vegas to the Grand Canyon on roads that are only passable in a set up 4WD vehicle. And of course they don't have more than a bottle of water and some chips.

The landmark type directions are everywhere, not just the South, or Maine or wherever. Smaller, rural areas...thats just the way it is.

I'm like Mark I'm pretty bad at road names, but I never get lost. When I go to a new area, sure I go by maps and GPS, but next trip I know exactly where to go.

I once told my parents they were going the wrong way. ATT I was laying in the little space behind the seats in a '65 El Camino. I knew they had made a wrong turn because of the road surface. At first they didn't believe me. 5 miles later the decided to listen to me.
 
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Old 08-20-15, 09:47 AM
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I have never been impressed with GPS navigation since my first rental car had it. We were in the FL keys and it kept showing us veering off into the ocean. At least it was entertaining for the kids to watch!
 
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