I must love my wife

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  #1  
Old 09-12-16, 11:56 AM
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I must love my wife

My wife wanted to go to town this morning after she got off work. I went mainly because she was tired and her car needed gas We went to Bed&Bath, Bath&Beyond and Ultra [make up store] What a fun time shopping But at least I got to sneak into Lowes while she was at the Dollar Tree

.... and she wonders why I don't relish going shopping with her
 
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  #2  
Old 09-12-16, 10:05 PM
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It seems that all women are programmed to shop. Not necessarily a bad thing as they can find some good bargains. However some women do go to extremes. I remember a joke that had been told on Facebook shared by the way by a woman who used to work at a dentists office until he retired.

The joke goes like this(mind you I am not good at retelling jokes so some things may be left out) A man goes to a local gym and goes to the locker room after his work out to change clothes. A cell phone rings so he picks it up and puts it on speaker phone. A woman starts talking and says hello honey I am at the coat store just admiring this $2000.00 coat it is just fabulous can I buy it? He says sure honey go ahead and buy it you are worth it. Then the woman says I just saw this car for $30,000.00 can I buy it?

He says sure buy the car but make sure you get all of the extras on the car if you do. All this time other guys in the locker room are listening with great interest. The woman then says honey do you remember that house we looked at last year that sold. He said yes dear I do remember it. Well dear she says it is back on the market for $980,000.00 what do you think should we buy it? Yes he says only offer them $900,000.00 and see what they say if they don't accept whats a few thousand more dollars? She then says honey I love you you are so great and hangs up.

The other guys in the locker room still are listening with their jaws hanging and thinking this guy must be rich. The man using the cell phone then asks the other guys do you know whose phone this is?

Some couple out there according to the joke is going to have a very large bill to pay.
 
  #3  
Old 09-13-16, 04:31 AM
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The most amusing thing I find is when women send men out to buy food ingredients, general food shopping, house hold cleaning supplies, home decor, or any typical women's type items or work. These guys have no clue as what they are buying.

However, what's even more distressing or funny is when a man sends out a women to get hardware items. Most women are not familiar with tools or projects. At least once a week a women will come in the store and say that her husband sent her out to buy screws or finish nails or internal toilet parts or sand paper or any "men" type project items. I then begin to ask questions like what size nail or is the screw going into wood, metal or a machine screw? Is it metric or English thread? Of course the women is completely baffled by my questions and get very irked at their man for sending them out. If they take a chance and buy what they think the guy wants, most cases it comes back for return and refund.

However, that being said I do have a couple of female customers who can run circles around most men and their knowledge of tools. One gal in particular flips houses. She buys old homes, remodels them, and flips them at a handsome profit. She has accounts at all the hardware stores. One time she comes in dressed like a real women. I did not recognize her without coveralls and paint smears all over her.

I can never understand why a women would send out a man to buy her stuff and a man to send out a women to buy his stuff (except for clothing and fashion). My wife will buy all my clothing since I have no fashion sense whatever.
 
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Old 09-13-16, 04:37 AM
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Not all woman my wife hates to shop almost as much as I do. Tho it takes her twice as long to buy the same items than me. I spend more than her. I buy junk food and she doesn't.
 
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Old 09-13-16, 04:55 AM
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The biggest problem with my wife is, she is a Libra. She cant decide on anything. We flooded in March & have been in the remodel stage since April. I dont know how many hours she/we have spent in the stores just trying to get her to make up her mind what items to buy. We get home, get ready to install it..... she changes her mind & takes it back, then spends hours more trying to figure out what to replace it with.

As for me, I walk in look up & down the isle a time or two, maybe read a few spec's, point & say, give me that one. I could have bought everything we need in two days. After six months, this is still going on.

I must love my wife.....
 
  #6  
Old 09-13-16, 05:06 AM
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I rarely send my wife after anything but generally when I do, even if what she brings back isn't what I would have picked out - I can make it work. When she sends me out for something, more times than not she'll claim I bought the wrong brand, size or whatever.

My wife falls in the 'loves to shop' category How she can spend 2 hrs and not buy anything is beyond my comprehension. I like to go in, get what I came for, pay for it and leave although I don't mind strolling thru an 'antique' mall with her to see what they have.
 
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Old 09-13-16, 09:27 AM
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"The most amusing thing I find is when women send men out to buy food ingredients, general food shopping, house hold cleaning supplies, home decor, or any typical women's type items or work. These guys have no clue as what they are buying."

Are you saying that a man can't buy laundry detergent or a loaf of bread w/o screwing it up? Simply because he's male.

"any typical women's type items or work." Man, you are stuck in the 50's. What do you consider women's work? Are "food ingredients" women's type items.
 
  #8  
Old 09-13-16, 09:32 AM
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Dixie - It's not the birth month. My wife (Pisces) suffers from the same malady- can'tdecideitis. I usually give her a reasonable bit of time, then fair warning and then I decide.

Walk the aisles of any supermarket and you will see sufferers staring at the shelves trying to decide what can of soup to buy.
 
  #9  
Old 09-13-16, 01:01 PM
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CW...You have a way of mis-interpreting much of what I say. And not the first time. If only I was stuck in the fifties. You my friend have struck a nerve.

Let me set the record straight. I did not say men can't cook or be chefs (please show me where I did that). In fact my son is a very good cook and can most likely beat many professional cooks. Brother-in-law has had his cooking experience written in the paper. As far as doing house work including shopping and laundry, again who said they can't. I've done my fair share of shopping and laundry and vacuuming and cooking, and general house cleaning. Again my son took care of a whole house hold for several years before he married. Many of my friends are bachelors and keep immaculate homes. Just where do you get your thought process from? By the way most men in my family know how to sew. Do you?

Now to the point of "women's and/or men's" typical work. Weather you believe it or not or like it or not, our culture is still pretty much divided but not exclusive between men's type of work and women's.

Men have a predominate force in the construction, machine tool, carpentry, auto work, hardware, and general heavy industrial work arena and women predominantly (please read the key word with caution) out number men in the home management, teaching, home cooking, nursing, store clerking, office personnel, veterinary practice and many other areas. Each and every one of these professions have a large cross over of both men and women. BUT...one or the other sex dominates in numbers and most people will identify the profession with one or the other sex.

I work in a home improvement store and most of us are men. But we have a few very knowledgeable females also. But most people (customers) will gravitate to the men for help (and usually to the older looking men). It's cultural thing, or haven't you noticed?

One last thing. In case you think I'm chauvinistic or still live in the "50's, let me tell you something. I have 5 children, 2 boys and three girls. All are professional with multiple degrees. Son #1 is an IT management specialist and works for one of the largest world banks. Daughter #1 is a veterinarian and makes a high 6 figure salary. Daughter #2 is a teacher and homemaker (she does both), Son #2 (the fair haired boy) is an Engineer, and daughter #3 is a Latin scholar and teacher. I supported each and everyone in their endeavors. If I was as you think, I doubt they would be where they are.

My apologies to the original poster and readers for the rant.
 
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