Kay's Whining Post, the Saga continues....LOL

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  #41  
Old 06-25-02, 04:41 AM
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Trouble in River City

Now, we have a better understanding of Zachary's behavior. And, possibly why Danny has had a mini-stroke. Such a sad story! Yet, a common one.

My bookkeeper just reported a family member for neglecting her little ones. Stoned, passed out, drug deals, and kids left at home alone unsupervised. She placed an anonymous call to Social Services.

Sometimes family members must practice Tough Love. It may be difficult and heartbreaking, but you may find that after the 2 weeks are up that you should limit future involvement and responsibilities for this family. While there is a lot of help available for adults with such problems, your suggesting it may not result in what you would like.

Kaybyrd, both you and your other SIL have your own families to rear. We must select and choose our battles and for what we NEED to be responsible. Taking on the responsibilities of another family will take away time and energy from your own family and, most importantly, you. I doubt if you get much done during these two weeks, but you have a lot to think about.

How old must a child be to be left alone at home?
Mississippi Dept of Human Services

http://www.mdhs.state.ms.us/fcs_prot.html#abused

Examples of child neglect:

Not meeting a child's need for food, clothing, shelter or safety
Leaving a child unwatched
Leaving a child in an unsafe place
Not seeking necessary medical attention for a child
Not having a child attend school

Sometimes, people are afraid to report abuse or neglect because they don't want to break up a family. Sometimes, people are afraid to get involved in someone else's problem.

When you report suspected child abuse or neglect, you could be saving that child's life.

The goal of stopping abuse and neglect is to keep children safe. Part of keeping children safe is finding help for the adults who have hurt them. Adults who have abused or neglected a child have many places to turn for help.
Protecting Our Children From Abuse and Neglect. APA Online. Retrieved 25 June 2002. http://www.apa.org/pi/pii/abuse.html
 
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  #42  
Old 06-25-02, 05:48 AM
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I did tell Danny and Bridgett both that I would call social services if they didn't start taking care of the kids. I haven't come across any more instances lately, however, it may be temporary.

There are other factors that have to be considered aside from the age of a child and leaving them alone. My Meagan will be 12 in January, however, I don't believe that she is emotionally developed enough in certain areas to be left alone, or be left in charge of a younger child. She's not ready, and I will never force that on her. Elizabeth is mature enough to watch other children to a certain extent. Too many hours in charge and she gets distracted. My oldest, Lee, however was very good at babysitting at 12. My philosophy on the whole picture is that children are children. They should not have to take care of themselves, or younger siblings alone unless for short periods of time or in extreme cases. Yes, Lee and Elizabeth would watch Ian and Meagan while I ran to the grocery store....but not so I could go out partying. They have been gracious and offered to watch the kids so Mike and I could go eat somewhere alone.

I don't like parents that use the excuse that their older children are built in babysitters. Children should not have to raise their siblings. I'm just getting excited about the fact that mine are getting older and don't require the constant supervision that a younger child requires. If I need to nap during the day they will stay in their rooms or the living room until I get up. I still have 9 more years before I'll feel safe about going to the grocery store without my cellphone on me, and having a neighbor on alert that I'm not home for a little bit while the children are home by themselves. I never will forget the time that Elizabeth was watching Ian and Meagan while I ran their older brother to work. Ian broke the glass in the back door and cut his finger. Elizabeth handled it beautifully. She did exactly what she was suppose to do: went next door to the neighbors and got help. However, that was tramatic for her, and a lot to put on her at age 14.

I will keep my eyes open regarding Jonathan and Zack, but I won't volunteer to raise them either. I have enough trouble raising my own! So far they're being good, except that the kittens are so fascinating to them. That's the main thing that keeps me on my toes right now. Kittens are not toys. The kittens play just fine by themselves and don't need help. We'll live through this, I may have a few more gray hairs on my head and need a couple of naps and a tylenol .

-Kay
 
  #43  
Old 06-25-02, 05:21 PM
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Lost childhoods

Children who are overburdened with responsibilities are robbed of their childhood. Those responsibilities can be a zillion things, responsibilities are forced upon them. It may be looking after a sick or alcohol or drug dependent parent, younger siblings, or their own children at an early age. These responsibilities rob them of their childhood. The "natural development" becomes arrested.

A parent should never put children in charge of other children. Should anything happen, that child will be burdened the rest of its life. A guilt trip can last a life time, I know.

When I was 9 years old, if I had been as big as an adult and had a driver's license, I could have functioned better in the world than most of the adults I knew. I never had a childhood.

Today, at this age, I still sometimes I think how nice it would be to have a parent rush in to pick me up and brush off the dust. My parents never did that for me. Now, they are dead. They were not good parents. Not the kind that we are. Yet, I miss them. And, I still crave parenting at times. I survive because I am that naive little red head, but with fire in her belly and grit in her teeth. People take advantage of me. Sometimes I get so angry with myself. I am not street savvy. People smile at me and I think they are nice. They are users. I know that, yet, I sometimes I get sucked in.

Last night I was thinking about me. I don't do that often. I never grew up with a focus on me. It was always those around me. Now, that I am alone, I figured it out last night. I was never important to me. All I knew from age 9 was that all was not right with world. But, everyone was so important to me that I got lost in the shuffle some how. Even though, I thought I knew so much, I was the one that was most lost. I gave everything to everyone. I never gave anything to myself. I always gave and still do to others. It's a sickness I inherited from my mother. It's because we seek love and all those things we missed as children.

There is a lot of research on needy people. Needy people tend to attract each other. I don't want to meet another needy person ever again as long as I live. Thus, I will hoist my own sails. Yes, I know, I fit the profile of the abused child who has become isolated from the world.

I never new a Kaybyrd when I was a kid. Maybe she would have made a difference in my life. Maybe not. I would have recognized that she had a different way of living than I had as a child. It probably would have alienated me further from her. Simply because she was different. In dysfunctional families, we tend to keep our business secret. We learn to isolate and make excuses. The neighbors think we are great. They don't know what goes on behind closed doors. We don't reach out. My family would have never accepted help, a donation, or a handout. Now, as an adult, I find that the world is so full of people who will take anything from you, suck you dry, blame you for their problems, and hate you. There is a lot of research that explains that dependency breeds hostility.

I have always been everyone's Joan of Arc. The relationship I just managed to escape probably saved my life. (I hope the psycho doesn't track me down. Everyone watches out for me.) I learned as a child that I had to look out for everyone. The world is too big, and there are too many people for which to be responsible. The situation I am now is not a comfortable one where I have people looking out for me. They might not be looking when I need them the most.

I think that one of the most important lessons that a parent can teach a child is that they are responsible for themselves. Many rear children and make them dependent upon on them as parents. They don't allow them to accept the consequences of their own behavior. They clean up their messes. They rob them of their childhoods by overloading them with the fallout from their own behaviors and irresponsibility.

I often wonder if it would have saved my brothers from self-destruction in someone had intervened. Kaybyrd? Social Services? Anyone? Now, that all my younger brothers are dead as a result of their self-destruction and our terrible childhood, I don't think Kaybyrd or anyone could have made a difference.

A child's formidable years are through age 4. The research tends to show that if there is not significant intervention prior to that age, then rescue efforts are lost. I had a brother who had a child who would document that research. She was pregnant at age 14. The guy who got her pregnant stomped her in the stomach. A modern abortion! Yet, she put donned her mini skirt the next day and trolled the streets.
 
  #44  
Old 06-25-02, 10:30 PM
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I know that I can't save the world. If I can change something for the positive in someone's life, then it will all be worth it to me. I was so depressed as a child. I didn't know what was missing. I contemplated suicide beginning as early as age 6. I just didn't see the point. Usually during the day, someone, somewhere would smile at me (an adult), touch my face and tell me what a beautiful young lady I was...or just smile a sincere smile. I got what I needed, unconditional acceptance even if it was from strangers. I desired it at home, tho, and that made the boughts of depression return. I was self destructive as I got older. I have a lot of scars on me that were self inflicted. I know today that I did that because if I felt pain on the outside, I forgot the pain on the inside. As a teenager I drove like a maniac, I drank and drove not caring if I survived or not, I married two abusive men.....

The things that would bring me back would be a smile from a stranger, a boss that told me how much they appreciated me because of my quality of work and dependability. I still had trouble, and today have to keep tabs on me, since I can't stand the world we live in. I can't understand how people can be so uncaring toward each other. I can't tolerate people who abuse children. Every child I see, I see me as a child. I couldn't/wouldn't stand up for myself so I guess I'm on a mission to stand up for every child I see. At least I can give something to a child that I never had, a great defender. An adult voice, since children's voices seem not to count for anything. I am grateful that abuse isn't being shoved aside like it used to be. Still a very long way to go. I'm not afraid to call social services and discuss what I've seen and actions I can take. Let them help me if they feel that it would be better if they intervene. Most people are scared of social services. I've turned to them to help me, too. If I'm being a bad parent, then social services needs to be involved for my children's sake. If a child is being abused, I'm there for the child...the adults are that...adults...they can take care of themselves. They may be able to BS other people, but a child can only BS about their situation at home only so long before it becomes obvious that there is something wrong. Like I said before, I see me in these children...I want to save me, too. I can't sleep with myself at night knowing that I've turned my back on someone who needs help and I'm capable of helping them.

I do have to balance it to, though. That's the tough part. I have responsibilities to me and my family as well. Today it doesn't depress me to the point of suicide. It makes me very tired. My mom never let me sleep when I was "tired" this way. She always taught me to keep busy, busy, busy. Today I allow myself to sleep when I need to sleep. There are days when I have no children in the house that I might sleep all day. My body and mind needs it. I give that to myself.

I also remember living in fear. I lived for 9 months wondering if my ex was going to chase me and the kids down again. Was he going to break down my door again and try to kill me....not stopping this time. He stopped the last time because he thought he had killed me. My neighbors kept watch, and another neighbor would walk me and the children to my apartment. Idiot me, after all that calmed down somewhat, ended up in another relationship just like that. When I moved out of that one, I went to another state. He followed me there, tried to get me fired from work, even called my boss' wife and told her that her husband and I were having an affair. Threatening messages on the answering machine......I was terrified for my children's safety, and afraid that they would witness something terrible, too. Over time I got tired of hiding. I got tired of living in fear and being a prisoner in my own home. I still watch my back, but at one point I decided that they both still had control over me, they were still dominating me. I didn't want to give them that power over me. Its been 6yrs since the last incident and I still catch myself looking over my shoulder. When I drop off and pick up my children from their father, it is always in the back of mind that this man could hurt me and still has the desire to do so.

I always keep a phone now. I have a cellular phone, too. I know the police number by heart, I also know the fire department/paramedics number by heart, too. I don't mess with 911, takes too long. I call direct. I keep in touch with the police department, I want them to know who I am. I want them to know where I live. I want them to be able to get to me to help me if I need it because I am still afraid. I have an alarm system on my home. It has 'panic' buttons on it that go directly to the police & fire department. We live in a really good neighborhood, and very few of us have alarms out here. I don't care, I'm afraid.

We are of kindred souls Twelvepole. I heard a song years ago by Hootie and the Blowfish. Seems no one paid much attention to this one song since it was kind of deep. Called "Not Even the Trees". Anyway, am trying to locate the lyrics for you since it speaks of things like 'nobody's listening to me, not even the trees' and 'my soul begins to bleed'. The last one being the one that struck me the hardest. It helped identify that one super hurting feeling inside....as though my soul is bleeding. Like I've been gutted, to be blunt. Another phrase I caught somewhere is 'that my soul has been raped'.

If it helps, remember that you are not alone in life. Maybe by yourself, but never alone. I'm a strange creature some times. I learned in life that there are things to be afraid of in the dark, but if those things can hide in the dark so can I. This may be why I thrive better at night now than during the daylight. May also explain why I wear dark clothing...don't draw attention to myself that way, etc. I have learned to hide in plain sight....

Here's the link to the lyrics if anyone would like to read them.
http://www.hootie.com/shocked/lyrics...p?Song=noteven

-Kay
 
  #45  
Old 06-26-02, 08:26 PM
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Does anyone really care?

And now my days are short an my nights are long
I lay down with memories of you keep that keep me going on, going on
It makes me wonder as I sit and stare
Will I see your face again
Tell me, do you care
I'm a stranger in my home
Living life on my own
Right now I just can't see
'Cause i'm feeling weak
And my soul begins to bleed
And no one is listening to me, not even the trees


Yes, Kaybyrd, this hits the nail on the head!

Thank you.
 
  #46  
Old 06-26-02, 10:11 PM
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The first time I heard that song it brought me to my knees. Words to fit what I was feeling, finally. I played that one song on the tape so many times that I wore the tape out. The other songs are good, like "Hold My Hand" and "Time" are two others that are moving as well, especially "Time":

Time, why you punish me?
Like a wave bashing into the shore
You wash away my dreams.

Time, why you walk away?
Like a friend with somewhere to go
You left me crying

Can you teach me about tommorrow
And all the pain and sorrow
Running free?
Cause tomorrow's just another day
And I don't believe in time

Time, I don't understand
Children killing in the street
Dying for the color of red
Time, hey there red and blue
Wash them in the ocean, make them clean,
Maybe their mothers won't cry tonight....


They also sing it like they feel it, too. I'll see if I can't locate a spot where you can listen to parts of the song online. I don't listen to music that often, but every once in awhile I'll hear something that really gets to me, speaks to my inner self and it makes me feel better to know that somewhere, someone else can relate. May not be the actual singer, but someone wrote that song. How can you write something like those songs and not be able to relate?

-Kay
 
  #47  
Old 06-28-02, 03:12 AM
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Yeah! I'm through babysitting! Today was the last day that I've had to watch Zach and John. They are basically good kids, but I'm tired. After they left yesterday, my dear hubby took over my kids and I slept from 6 p.m. until 3 a.m. this morning. It is so hard for me to explain to other people why I don't watch kids during the day. Mine wear me out as it is.

I finally finished the dolls that were supposed to ship last Wednesday. I will ship them first thing this morning. I couldn't work on them much during the day since my little charges were always wanting to be underfoot watching what I was doing. Hard to concentrate on needlework when you're answering 500 questions. Its also hard when their lifestyles are so different than ours. They eat on demand at their house, and are allowed in the refrigerator. They are also allowed to eat in the family room, which we don't do. I get tired of cleaning the carpet and picking up after the meals in there. A table is so much easier to clean up than a room.

Pets, lord have mercy on me, I am so relieved they don't have any. I could not get it through their heads that the kittens were not toys. That they play just fine by themselves. Yes, pet them...watch them and enjoy, but don't pick them up and play with them like they are toys.

I also had trouble with the tv/vcr/dvd player. I don't allow them to use them. Maybe the tv, but not the others. In the 5 months they've lived out in this area they've gone through 1 tv, 1 vcr and now the dvd player. I'm not sure what happened to their tv, however the vcr and dvd player were broken because the kids don't know how to insert a tape or close/open a dvd player without breaking it. I would much rather have to get up and put a movie in for them than have to replace one of the systems. I purchased a dvd player under stress one day. Our vcr was acting up (its about 10 years old) and went to purchase another one. I guess I was stressing so badly that day that the vcr I pointed to on the shelf was NOT what the assistant pulled down for me. I came home, opened and was shocked. My husband had fixed the vcr while I was gone and said just to keep the dvd player. That was exciting since we didn't own a dvd to watch! We do now, and I like it better than the vcr. No rewinding, and the kids are better about putting the dvd's back into the cases on onto the shelves.

Oh well, just wanted to post a better day ahead of me! I also get to pick up my 11yr old tonight. I really miss her when she's gone and she's been gone for 2 weeks now! I know, I know...a few days from now I'll be complaining about how I need a break again.

-Kay
 
  #48  
Old 06-28-02, 10:05 PM
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Kaybyrd!

Sounds like you survived the babysitting and you have your house and family to yourself again and things are settling down.
 
  #49  
Old 06-29-02, 10:35 PM
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I have been in the worst mood today. Can't seem to get myself out of it either. I slept for awhile this afternoon and that helped. I just hate this feeling of being alone. If I were alone, it would be different, but I'm not. I live in a house with 5 other people.

My husband mowed the lawned today, but only because I was hateful and sarcastic about it. I was grateful that he didn't have to work today. He needed a day off from that. However, I need a day off too. I haven't had one of those in years. Even when we're on vacation, I'm still not really since I'm the one in charge of the food, safety, fun, transportation, etc. I would be happy right now with just a little help.

I put my foot down today with the 15yr old. She kept asking would I take here somewhere. I told her when she decided to help me around here then I would think about it. Until then, the answer would be no. I asked her to help me with the dishes. Her response: I didn't dirty all those dishes. Well hey, neither did I.

Every time I threaten to find home for the animals in the house, they all get weepy about how much they love them and don't want them to leave. I love them too, but honestly having 3 dogs and 3 cats with 3 kittens is getting a little burdensome for me. I have no help with feeding the dogs, cleaning litter boxes or cleaning up accidents in the house caused by the cats/kittens. I love the animals, too but I only have so much energy, and so many hours in one day.

I have so many things I want to do along with things that need to be done. By the time I do all of the need-to's, I have very little time for the want-to's.

I think what really set off my bad mood today was the fact that my husband is going camping with my brother in law. Its not that he's going camping with him, its the way he went about it. I knew about this camping trip months ago. Danny called to get Mike's pager # so he could see about us going since he was going to rent a cabin. He said that we would only need $200 to cover our share. I told him that we couldn't afford it, but he could talk to Mike since he knew what the hours would look like at work better than I would. Danny called me back and said "Mike said ya'll are going". I thought that was strange, especially the way Danny said it. Mike doesn't lay down the law that way, especially since it has a tendency to cause rebellion on my part. Plus, Mike just isn't that way. Mike told me last week that he was going to take a week off work so that he wouldn't lose it since it was getting close to his hire anniversary again. I thought that was great. I asked him then was he going camping with Danny, and he said that he wasn't planning on it. Well, today, he said that he is going camping with them. Mike knows I won't go, which is fine. I wouldn't go now since I found out that Danny called me back before he even got in touch with Mike at the beginning. I'm hurt since I've been trying to find somewhere that all of us could go, as a family, for a day or day while he was off work. He sat there and went along with my planning, all the while planning to go camping with his brother. I had even asked Mike last Sunday if he wanted to go with his brother camping...my motives weren't pure at that point....and he said he wasn't sure. I had just heard that Danny was telling his other brother that Mike was going and leaving me here, that Mike didn't care whether or not I wanted him to go-he was going. After I told Mike that...see, my motives weren't pure-I was trying to find the truth in Danny's statement first....he said that he wasn't going. Now he's going.

I honestly don't care when he wants to go somewhere with his brothers. Just let me know what to plan as far as my family, not to plan as a family, and what I need to do to prepare for his absence. I can't imagine what has happened that he feels he has to be that way with me. This is what has caused me to all of the sudden feel very lonely. My gut reaction is to protect myself, to protect my heart. I looked at my husband as a means of support only, and it broke my heart even further. If you love someone, don't you let them in on what you're planning? Let them in on what's going on in your life? Isn't that what a marriage partnership is...a sharing of your lives even if its not doing things together? I'm honestly trying to not be hateful to him or spiteful but I really am hurt and would love to lash out at the source.

I want to feel better. I can't ignore this, but I want to feel better. Instead of cleaning the kitchen and finishing up the laundry I'm going to sit down and do something for me. I've been wanting to develop a website and haven't had much time for it lately. I think I'm going to sit down and work on it for the rest of the evening (well morning, wow its already 12:30 in the morning!) Must have slept longer than I realized.

It doesn't help that I'm sick, too. I'm not sure what is wrong, just don't feel good. Not a headache, or any major pains...just tired all the time and sick to my stomach. I thought maybe it was just the after-affects of last weekend, but that was a week ago. I'll figure it out, or it will go away on its own. Nothing lasts forever, the good stuff nor the bad stuff.

-Kay
 
  #50  
Old 07-01-02, 09:31 AM
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Been a long weekend, but we all survived it. No major problems, just everyonein a funky mood.

I'm sore right now, not sure why. Maybe since I've been so tense lately that it is started to hurt. I feel like the hunchback of notre dame. I'll get over it.

The house is in shambles again. My 15yr old cleaned out her room. I was very proud of her. She threw 5 large garbage bags of junk away. However, her bedframe is now sitting in our already small hallway. My 11yr old just came back from her dad's house so all her junk that she packed is scattered throughout the house as she unpacked. The kittens are on a rampage right now. No longer the pitter patter of tiny feet, but the stampede sounds of 3 kittens running through the house, over or under or through whatever stands in their way. My youngest is 9, and I have once again had to "child proof" my house. Instead of worrying about them pulling an appliance down on their little heads, I worry about them chewing the cords and electricuting themselves. Some things I do worry about them pulling onto their heads. And the garbage can rescues are growing in numbers. The little guys try to walk the edges of the garbage cans and fall in. Kind of funny, but really not.

I changed the big cats' food. Boy that's always fun. I had to change to a different formula since hairballs were becoming a major problem in the house. All 3 adult cats were suffering this time. Usually I can add a little vegetable oil to the food and resolve the problem with furball, but since it was all 3 I had to take different measures. They refuse the hairball med's that you can give them and I am not very good at force-feeding it to the cats.

I talked to my 18yr old last night. He is having a blast living in Nevada. I'm so relieved. He loves his job, and is making friends fast. Maybe that's why I slept so good last night. I didn't have to worry about him being okay out there. He hasn't even called for money. That's nice. He's making his way and doing fine. I'm so proud of him. I still miss him, but he is doing what he needs to be doing. That makes it all okay.

Guess I need to get busy. Not sure where to start on this house so I will just start. At least the lawn is mowed so I don't have to worry with the outside appearance of the house.

-Kay
 
  #51  
Old 07-02-02, 11:04 PM
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Do you ever feel like you're talking to yourself?

Where is everyone? Awful quiet in this area of the forums.

I am going on vacation and I cannot wait!

No husband going.

No children going.

Just me, and my best friend.

An executive suite, a pool and jacuzzi on site....what d'yall think! Sounds pretty good huh!?!

My best friend has so many points from previous hotel stays that we are staying for 3 whole days for $30. Unfortunately, we don't leave until the last week in July. Let's just hope and pray that I survive that long!

[SIZE=4]I NEED A VACATION![/SIZE]

-kay
 
  #52  
Old 07-16-02, 10:58 AM
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Exclamation REALLY whining now!

Boy, I'm really whining now. Seems we have a rash of computer problems going on around here, or broken fingers, or everyone's life but mine is going well. Okay guys which is it!?

I've noticed lately that I've been more tired than usual. I know I get enough sleep, and my stress level is low, but I feel like I could use about 8 hours more right now. Sleep, not stress!

Maybe its just boredom. It isn't like I don't have a bunch of stuff I need to be doing. I just don't feel like doing them right now. The only thing that breaks up the dullness of the day seems to be Ian's taekwondo. That way I can get out of the house, and visit with others. Maybe that's what my problem is: I need more interaction with adults. I seem to be too focused on my children and their friends.

A strange thing happened yesterday. My first ex-husband's sister came by the house. She lives about a mile from our house, and my daughter called her Aunt to talk with her. Elizabeth ended up spending the night over there. Its nice to be able to re-connect in a way with Pam. She was always kind to me, and dearly loves the kids (John and I's). I had always wondered how her children were doing too. They were very much a part of my life when her brother and I were married. She showed me pictures and told me about her life now. It was so nice. Its a shame that divorce has to take away that part of a family that you grow close to. It is a shame that even though the years have passed and the grudges gone, family of ex's still frown on even speaking to the now non-family member. Pam and I are aware that both John and their mother will throw a fit if they find out that we've been talking. I don't want back into my ex's life, just would like to be able to converse and be friends with certain family members. There was a time when Pam and I relied heavily on each other. She was a single mom, and I moved her in with John and I (with his blessings) when we married. I got my first taste of motherhood helping her with her new baby. It was also what prompted me to wait a couple of years before becoming a mother myself! It was hard work! Still is, but I was a little more prepared later. I hope that it won't cause problems. She says that it won't. I would hate for her to be alienated from her family, I have seen it happen too many times with this family.

Well, I am looking forward to my vacation to Nashville. My mini-trip to Milan did me a lot of good, however, I think it has already worn off. Things will go back to normal around here when school starts again. We can re-develop some healthy routines and maybe get some consistency going again. I have trouble keeping up with what day it is sometimes. I also have trouble keeping up with who is where, who wants to go such and such, when someone is spending the night here.....boy, I cannot wait until the "not on a school night" rule begins to apply again. I used to still apply that rule when I worked, but now that I'm a stay at home mom it seems foolish.

Guess I've whined enough for one session.

Kay
 
  #53  
Old 07-19-02, 09:36 PM
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Not a whole lot to whine about tonight other than I'm really tired. Probably did more today than I've done in the past month. I've been really lazy and let things go. I have been running around with the dash out of my truck for the past month. I put a new blower switch in it so maybe I would have the hi setting. Still a no go, even replaced the resistor. Of course, I've had these two parts for over a year and never put them in. I decided if it took me that long to install the parts, then it would probably be next year before I figured out why it still didn't work so I put the dash in today.

I spent a couple of hours a few weeks ago checking for a short in the turn signal. Didn't find anything, got made, and put it back together. My dear hubby did the same thing last week. Put it back together (I did since he got frustrated and walked inside, never to return again LOL). Today I did the most logical thing, bought two new sockets for the turn signals. I now have two working turn signals. Been pretty foolish for me to run around town without a working turn signal. Seems I've developed a habit a routing my trips to involve all right hand turns so I don't have to cross traffic. Of course, the right hand signal is the one that quit working. NO ONE ever looks for the hand signals....so many times I didn't actually get to turn into the lot I intended to avoid being re-ended.

I decided that maybe I should check the oil instead of watching the pressure gauge and adding oil when it got low...3 quarts low is what I found. Okay, so I realized that if I truly love this old truck I'd better take care of it. Priced engines today, need to take care of this one.

Bought both an alternator belt and a power steering belt. Can't decide which one is squeeling. Both look fine, so I'll replace both. Didn't get around to that today since like an idiot I got sidetracked and decided that I was going to fix the glove compartment latch. Okay, so now that I've destroyed the latch and now have to ride around with the glove compartment open.....tomorrow I will stick the game plan of replacing the belts. Oh, I also replaced the cigarette lighter deal so I can now hook my cellphone charger in there since I'm always on the road when I discover that I had once again forgotten to charge up the cellphone.

Did manage to get to the parts store, the grocery store and the discount store this morning. I usually put those off until the truck is broken down, we're starving to death and out of toilet paper. My doggies even have enough food now to last two weeks, as do the cats, and the kitties have fresh litter in their boxes.

Okay, so maybe that's a normal day for others, but for me it was a lot accomplished. Even spent an hour on the phone with my Las Vegas kid, who by the way is doing great and loving it there.

Guess that's it for now. Am fixing to run to the store for a coke and a smile.

Kay
 
  #54  
Old 07-20-02, 07:36 AM
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Take care of yourself, Kaybyrd!

Reading back through your posts and how you are feeling, I wonder if some of those symptoms are premenopausal. Out-of-whack hormones can produce those symptoms. My hormone pills have done wonders. My problem is remembering to take them.

Sounds like it is time to find homes for some of the pets. If you count each one as one of your children, think of how many kids you have to worry about! The two-legged children you have to keep. LOL!

I am really impressed with your auto mechanic skills. I don't know how to open the hood on my car. I plan on reading the owner's manual before winter, so I can learn how to turn on the heat.

Adult interaction is a great idea, whether through a class, a volunteer organization, or a part-time job. It gets you out of the house, away from all those things on the to-do list, gives you a different perpective, a schedule/commitment, etc. The most important thing is that you will find yourself feeling alot better about Kaybyrd.

The vacation at the end of the month will be a refresher. And, just think, school is going to start again.

I don't think I would make too much out of hubby's going camping. He may have felt coerced or obligated to go. Sounds like there was some waffling going on. Perhaps he didn't want to go. Perhaps there was some guilt about leaving you. Perhaps it was a guy thing. And, guy's aren't very good at expressing what they go through emotionally.

I am sure that if you and I were planning a trip, that we would have planned it to the nth degree days/weeks in advance. Everyone would know exactly when we were going and coming back. They would have emergency telephone numbers. We'd leave the refrigerator full and to do lists posted on the door. That's just the way we women are. We feel soooooo responsible.
 
  #55  
Old 07-20-02, 09:11 AM
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My skills (limited as they may be) with automobiles stemmed from two different things. A combination of being a single mom and being shafted at repair places, and a desire to go against everything that I'd been raised to believe in a moral and responsible way. I walked into college registration (age 32) to schedule my classes for computer programming and walked over to the auto mechanics desk and signed up. I took it for a year, and had a 4.0 average. I wanted those A's for me, no one else. Not to prove anything, but because I knew I could do it. My instructor agreed with me when I told him that I could not imagine doing this every day of my life, however. I did know more than most students on how things worked. The way a transmission operates is the most fascinating thing to me. My instructor worked with me on hopefully building a career as an automobile designer. Make the better transmission or engine for the new cars, etc. I had hoped to take physics the next year, but the cards weren't in my favor for it.

I came back to Memphis to avoid the still constant abuse from my ex (always on my toes, even though he had remarried), and also to get away from a "friend" that turned stalker. I begun working again to support my family and to get out from under my well meaning mother. Now I have the opportunity to go back to school to finish auto mechanics AND computer programming, take taekwondo, start my own business right down the street, etc. but am not sure which is more important to me. I am limited only by time and space. One day I will decide, and until then I'm doing what I dreamed of doing since I was a little girl. I am a wife and mother.

Kudos to the auto repair on the forums here! I posted my problem with the glove box locking mechanism, Joe posted the fix for it....all done! Cost me $0, and I'm more knowledgable because of it. Yeah! Life can be good if I let it.

My next project involves replacing the belts on the truck. I've done it before, but have such short term memory that I use the books on the truck as reference. I have to admit that I don't like how greasy I get. This truck is old ('79) and has lots of leaks. The grease is old, sticky and dirty. (Usually when I'm working on one thing I find something else that needs fixing, too.) Takes me forever to get it out from under my nails and out of my skin. Part of my delay in doing it is that 'old fear' of failure. I am my own worst enemy. I keep reminding myself that I've done it before, could be something funny to post about in the future, and that I have wonderful people here on the forums that can help walk me through anything, no matter how big or small. I can do this....I think I can, I think I can, I actually deep down inside KNOW I can if I try.

Kay
 
  #56  
Old 07-20-02, 12:06 PM
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I just read this and thot it was kind of funny, maybe a little mean, but funny to me none-the-less:
May those who love us, love us...
And those who don't, may God turn their hearts.
And if He doesn't turn their hearts,
May He turn their ankles so we will know them by their limp.
I guess it would be nice to determine those enemies of ours because they limp....guess everyone would be limping at one point or another. I'd be limping since I'm my own worst enemy!

Kay
 
  #57  
Old 07-20-02, 12:35 PM
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One's worst enemy

Kaybyrd, I don't think you are as big an enemy to yourself as you think. We've all made some bad choices and wrong decisions. Perhaps because we are ruled by our hearts rather than our heads at times. Sometimes I think that passionate and creative people are more prone to this. Some of us are also simply just too trusting. Some always are so busy looking for the good in others that we don't see the bad coming.
 
  #58  
Old 07-20-02, 12:54 PM
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that's true. lately i've been trying to use my heart instead of my head since my head is full of delusions (self imposed as well as others' ideas). my 'gut' is my true leader, or should be. if in doubt, don't...or at least get more information before you do....

kay
 
  #59  
Old 07-21-02, 05:40 PM
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Talking DREADING MY VACATION?!?!?

I am so nervous about making this trip. I don't know why. I think maybe its just guilt coupled with excitement that is causing this feeling since it's not really dread I feel.

I haven't even packed. The sensible side of me has cleaned my house, mowed the lawn, washed clothes, dishes, bathrooms, etc. so I won't have to come home and have to do it. I need to get busy packing since I leave tomorrow morning.

Its going to be a fun few days (with the exception of the drive) since it is unplanned time. We have a few ideas of what we're going to do, but maybe not. I'm bringing my laptop since I will probably go through withdrawals if I don't. Spent time trying to get it looped through the desktop and onto the internet to get my updates from MS, make sure email addys were correct, and configurations correct. Also, installed a firewall and virus protection. I hope I remember to pack all the accys that go to it since the battery lasts about 4 hours. I may forget my socks, too if I'm not careful

That was a joke since I don't wear socks. Try not to wear shoes as much as possible...usually slip ons, even tennis that slip on. Oh, can't forget the bathing suit! Look atrocious in it, but....the jaccuzzi will beckon me irregardless.

I would love to see the botanical gardens there. Sounds like so much fun. Susie wants to visit the wild horse saloon. The name evokes memories of the movie "Ugly Coyote". If its too much fun, I may never leave. Just kidding, too old and tired for that kind of scene again.

I feel guilty since I'm looking forward to being away from those that I love. Especially my husband. It seems that everything he does lately tees me off. That's not fair. I'm not even sure its warranted. I'm just tired and taking it out on him I'm sure. I do know I am angry at him with reason over mowing over the chinese shrub thing that I had over Midnight's grave. How in heaven did he not see it!?! Oh well, I actually didn't even blow up at him about that one, just teased him. Did get angry about him going to work last night. Work, work work work. Yes, I'm jealous of his work. I don't want to go back to work, I just wish I had more time with him. He's so tired when he gets home that he veges. Can't blame him, but I would love for just us two to do something...away from the children....away from the house....

Oh well, maybe this trip will help me get things back into perspective. After two days I usually start missing everyone. That's the longest I've been away from my kids except in the summer when they go to their dad's for a week or two. I miss my husband when he's out of town...usually the day he leaves. I'm a weird person. Can't wait to get away from them and miss them as soon as they're out of sight. Let's see someone 'shrink' that one!

Okay, I'll shrink it: I'm a control freak and nothing makes me happy, especially when I get my way or what I want. Oops, think I made it bigger.

Bye for now, will be checkin' in on you guys so keep your noses clean and your powder dry.

Kay
 
  #60  
Old 07-21-02, 06:03 PM
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Kaybyrd, have a safe and fun trip!

Relax. Quit feeling nervous and guilty. Quit trying to analyze everything. Enjoy the trip. Forget the socks. Pack extra underwear. Leave the computer at home. Two days won't send you into withdrawal. Spend quality time with hubby. Can't wait to hear all about your time away from home.

What firewall did you install?
 
  #61  
Old 07-21-02, 07:02 PM
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I use zone alarm. it is the free version. i like it since it's easy to configure. i use panda virus protection simply because it doesn't have a firewall. i used to use esafe desktop virus protection but even if i didn't install the firewall included in the program, it still conflicted.

www.zonealarm.com

they have a purchase version, but i don't care for information about who's pinging my machine. it gives me the ip number, but i'm not real worried about it. i did some kind of test online that checked all ports into your computer and with zone alarm, my computer didn't even appear to be connected to the internet. it doesn't interfere with you accessing the internet, but if one of your programs tries to, it will ask if you want to let it. oh, and even though its free, updates are free as well even for this version.

kay
 
  #62  
Old 07-22-02, 08:46 PM
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Im in heaven!

This hotel is wonderful Nicest hotel I've ever been in! The room is nice, the bed is nice, the jacuzzi is nice, the pool is nice....shall I continue?!?

Guess I'm loggin off for now. Am pooped from the drive here (left at 9 this morning, got to friend's house, goofed off, went to grocery store, left her house, drove here, arrived at 7 p.m.)

Will check back in later!

Kay

 
  #63  
Old 07-23-02, 05:47 AM
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Nice!

Very, very nice! Sounds like you are beginning to unwind. You deserve it.
 
  #64  
Old 07-23-02, 09:31 AM
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I am unwinding and fast. This is really a lot of fun. I like it in Nashville (other than the traffic is like in Memphis) because of the hills and mountains. Even the business areas are more pleasing to the eye since they blend in, and behind the hills and trees.

I really don't care to leave the hotel. I'm enjoying the peace and quiet. I do miss Mike, tho. A lot. It hit me late last night, so I test messaged him from my cellphone. It was late, but he was still up. He messaged me back, with the same message about 8 times. I was trying to call him since I knew he was up, but I kept getting thrown back to the message screen. Finally...he quit so I could call him. He says the house is so quiet that its almost spooky. Even the cats and kittens aren't acting normal. I hope that he enjoys the house while we're gone. He works hard for it, and when he is home its always super active there. He's even been brave and fired up the computer.

Guess I'll close for now. Am going to jump in the shower and maybe go check out the Parthenon. Probably should seek out some food, too. Slept to late for the free breakfast...oops

Kay
 
  #65  
Old 07-23-02, 04:42 PM
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Parthenon

We did go see the Parthenon today. Its neat. I wouldn't drive all the way here just to see it, not enough stuff, but it was great to see since we were here. Guess nothing will compare to Eternal Egypt that I saw in Memphis. Should have planned to visit it twice, too much to see and take in just in a day.

Also went to the Capitol Mall. I didn't know that a mall could be something without stores in it. Beautiful landscaping and the timeline wall was so interesting.

Drove around sightseeing, got lost, found our way back to the hotel without much frustration. We at a burger place that has been in business since 1939. It is the oldest business in Nashville that is in its original location. Very nostalgic, and the food was great. Not too expensive, either. Made it back in time for the free drinks at the bar, but passed. We're not much into the 'bar talking' scene and too many people down there. Lot of trouble to go through just to get a free coke (we don't do beer).

Guess I'm going to kick back for awhile. My ol' dogs are barking.

Kay
 
  #66  
Old 07-26-02, 07:25 AM
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Well, here it is Friday and the last day of my vacation. It actually kind of ended yesterday when we came back from Nashville, but I'm still not home yet. Spent the night at my friends since the kids are going to the lake today with my mom. Seemed kind of foolish to drive back home and then have to backtrack again to come get them tonight.

She's gone to register her child for school this morning but has a list of things for me to do before I return home. The biggest thing being that her commode is backing up into the tub. I'm afraid its plumber time. We have a snake, however, I don't know much about this house and don't have a lot of time to pull commodes, etc. Will try snaking best that we can, but I believe that this is going to be a plumber-pay deal. Then little things like the headboard is lose on her bed and the door came off her sink cabinet in the bathroom. I've learned to bring tools when I visit people, however, I don't bring them all. Would need a bigger truck for that one.

Am looking forward to being back at home. Its like home here, I feel more comfortable than I did at the hotel. I'm sure that is because I've been here several times before and the routine is also closer to real life for me. I also know that I'm a little closer to where my kids and hubby are.

Hope everyone is having a great week. I haven't seem many people in this area of the forums lately. Guess they are vacationing before school starts again, too.

Miss my pets, too. They've become my children, too. My hubby says that the cats and kittens aren't acting like they usually do. Guess they miss me as much as I miss them. I have to admit tho, that it is nice to actually be able to sit down and respond to a post without a kitten on my shoulder, lap or trying to get onto the keyboard. I usually keep the laptop running on a table next to the desktop and miss the little ones trying to get the fish on the screensaver. It seems to throw them off when the fish stop moving when they step on the keys and it asks for a password. Guess you have to be a cat lover to appreciate those little things in life that amuse me. I miss my dogs. They are the relief of not being able to interact more with the cats. I love the way Angel (yr old Catahoula) "hugs" me. I miss Chloe (lab puppy) wagging her tail so hard that I'm afraid she going to wag it off. And Junior (yr old Catahoula, male) and his 'matrix' jumps off things(unfortunately, sometimes that me ).

Guess I'm off here. Going to see if I can't find the main clean out(s) for the house. Will check in tonight after I return home.

Kay
 
  #67  
Old 07-28-02, 10:27 AM
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and now for my first song:

Well, never mind...seems I've cleared the room and haven't even started singing yet!

Mighty quiet around here. Maybe tomorrow will be better?

Kay
 
  #68  
Old 08-03-02, 10:22 AM
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Been a good week here. It seems that when I'm not going good the whole house suffers. The kids have been helping me out more, and so has my DH. I'm trying to laugh and smile more. It is contagious. In fact, the kids have been doing so much better with their attitudes and behaviors that my DH and I took them out to a real restaurant last night. I know that O'Charley's is a more casual restaurant, and is a little more expensive than say, oh, MickeyDees or BKing, but the food was wonderful! We even dressed for the occassion. Okay, so our version of dressed means the boys wore unstained blue jeans, and a button up shirt and the girls had to wear pants and something other than a tee shirt or tank top. Oh, flip flops or cheap sandals weren't allowed either.

I ended up having to help with a minor crisis before we could leave. Elizabeth's friend lost the ball to her belly pierce. I took one over to her, but it didn't fit (too small) and so ended up having to run purchase one. Still didn't work, nor did the barbell (too short). Her mom's going to have to help her since this jewelry isn't cheap and I ended up with unusable jewelry in the process. I won't take it back since we did try to use it.

I guess that should be a lesson for her mom in letting her get it when they don't have a means to replace or doctor her up if needed. I can't afford to take of it either. Researching piercings is a definite must do! They can get very expensive just to maintain. I'm afraid that too many out there think that since piercing the ears is so easy and low maintenance at times that other piercings are too. Not the case. Even if they do run you in money terms, they can be painful, extremely painful while they heal. When I talk of researching, I also mean researching what to use and not use on the piercing. Even using triple antibiotics can make matters worse and inhibit the proper healing. Medicines not used according to instructions is the biggest culprit. Hydrogen peroxide and alcohol can clean out, but also dry up the skin and cause other problems. Neosporin can actually keep the skin too soft so that it never heals up like its suppose to heal. Some antibacterial soaps contain fragrances...honestly guys, would you put perfume on an open wound or cut!?! And...just because it stings when you use it doesn't mean that its doing it any good! Pain does not mean gain, it means you are hurting. Pain means that something isn't right. Causing yourself pain is NOT a good thing.

Finally heard from my Vegas child last night. He is so busy, and working hard. He sounded happy, and that means the world to me. I am so proud of him. I can't wait until I can come see him, or him make it home. I asked him if he would hurry up and get his own phone so I could call him all the time and make his life miserable. Mr. Priority setter said: I'd love to mom, but the electric bills are higher here and I have to make sure that I can pull my weight. Apparently being away from my stupid money management techniques have been a good thing for him.

Guess I'll close for now. Want to watch this movie I just rented called Thirteen Ghosts. If you want to watch a strange, and scary movie try Rose Red. Its a Stephen King film and is a two tape deal. Long, but worth watching. One of the few that actually ends enough that you feel safe going to bed! Usually his books/movies don't really end, you know, the guys still out there, etc.

Kay
 
  #69  
Old 08-03-02, 11:00 AM
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Dressing up for dinner

Sounds like Kaybyrd and all the little byrds are flying high. Mamabyrd is back in the nest. The Vegasbyrd is doing well and keeping in touch.

People don't seem to get dressed up much any more. I was in Pittsburgh last weekend. Folks there could have just as easily been from Louisa, KY. I probably stood out because I wore slacks and a white shirt.

Going out to dinner and being waited on is always a treat. You get to walk out and leave the dishes. And, it's even better when the food was good.

It's 98 degrees in the shade here. I am dreading going outdoors to water my flowers.

I must paint that kitchen this weekend, but I am still sitting here at the computer. Motivation? What's that?
 
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Old 08-03-02, 11:22 AM
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Motivation? What's that?
I don't know what that is, but if anyone out there does, please share it with us.



Kay
 
  #71  
Old 08-04-02, 10:16 AM
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motivation

I have decided that I must have a sign outside of our home that forbids motivation to enter. I am sitting here at the computer looking at the piles of paper on and around my desk. Most of it has been there for awhile. I just sift through it when looking for something, but usually it just sits there. Can't be anything important in there since I usually don't find what I'm searching for in them, and rarely delve into them anyway. Probably shouldn't risk just throwing them away. Dread going through them and finding a home for what's important.

I started sifting through the warranty/instruction papers I have in a pile. Seems that I've hung onto papers from appliances and other products that I haven't had in my possession in over 5 years. What bothers me is the fact that I was, at one time, good at going through my papers once a year and sorting out what could be tossed, storing important information in either a 5 year or eternal keep box. I don't understand why that my file cabinet has folders for things that aren't even important. I may be able to sort easier if I delve into the file cabinet first. It stays so packed all the time. I don't understand it since we don't have that many bills or things to keep up with, but it may be due to me trying too hard to organize. I'm even organizing clutter and other useless things.

I'm going to do what flylady calls a super fling boogie. I did it with her program this summer and it made a huge impact on us. I flinged over 300 pounds of clutter. This is not including what was salvagable and sent to Goodwill. I took two truckloads of stuff to goodwill during it. The biggest and most free-ing thing that I got rid of was 3 years worth subscription to Off-Road magazine AND 4-Wheel Drive magazine. I like looking at the things people do to improve their trucks, but am not that serious of an off-roader. I hate to fix what I break on the truck so I keep it mild. Those mags went to the recycle bin at the library.

It amazed me that I have aquired too many books. I hang on to them 'in case I need them' or want to re-read them. Rarely happens. The library out here could really use them.

It seems to me what kills a lot of my motivation is that I overthink things. In some aspects it is a good thing, in this case it isn't. It will be simple to box up the books. Its how long they sit in the house boxed up since I hate to drive and never carry them straight out to the truck to keep there until I happen to pass by the library. In trying to 'consolidate' my efforts, I just end up not doing it at all. I wear myself out, and talk myself out of it before I even start. If I sit down and try to break the process down (listing) into managable pieces, I end up spending all my time sitting and planning but no action takes place.

In conclusion, it is obvious that motivation is alive and well in this house. Reverse-motivation that is .

I am feeling the urge to purge today. That's good motivation to me. It appears that I'm getting to the point where enough is enough and I'm prepared to do something about it. It may not last long, but a little is some, and somewhere to start.

Twelvepole, on your kitchen, and I know the guys in the other forums preach that if....you shouldn't need..., but I do use the blue painters tape since I am such an unmotivated person. Maybe you could just tape off your kitchen for now. Then when the mood strikes, bring the painting stuff into the kitchen. Then when the mood strikes....

I'm really one to talk. I hate, and I do mean hate, my bedroom. It is the only part of the house that I truly hated when we purchased the house. Didn't even look at it and go "oh, it has potential", just hated it. The rest of the house made up for it, tho. I want to paint the brick. Having two different unconvential textures on the walls doesn't appeal to me, so I'm going to paint them at least the same color. I dread pulling everything out of the room to paint. There is no "covering and working around" much in this room. I guess I could at least start by pulling the pictures and deco off the walls. Then maybe getting the paint that I've picked out. Then maybe getting the stuff to fix the closet....okay, am talking myself out of it again.

The master bedroom used to be the family room. They added a closet in there after building an actual family room where the garage used to be. The problem: the heat & a/c vent is inside the closet. We have to keep the closet door open for the air to circulate. The bed faces the closet, so it is a true joy to wake up and see my closet insides even though I do keep the closet as neat as possible so it doesn't disgust me further. The bath off the master bedroom was literally thrown together before the sale.

I also can't stand the fact that either all the stuff I need to fix anything is in a huge storage box inside the house, on the kitchen floor under the bar, or the fact that I walk into the storage room and can't find anything since its just a big room. I don't know where to start. Maybe in the storage room. Get it organized with peg boards and shelving. Then the search for tools/supplies wouldn't be an unmotivator?

Okay, have worn myself out now. Will post later!

Kay
 
  #72  
Old 08-04-02, 12:12 PM
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Just got back from Home Depot. Took the frustration that I wrote about earlier and took action. May be later tonight before I hit the storage room (actually suppose to be a workshop I believe). I bought some hangers that mount to the wall. Now I can hang the shovels and rakes, plus some of the tools that we use. Even got two deals (one for the front and back) to hang our water hoses up. I also bought a hanger deal for the leaf blower/mulcher that I never use since the parts end up scattered around. Now...

When it cools off maybe I can get out there and start hanging things up and organizing a little. At least now instead of complaining about it, I have the tools to deal with it when that elusive motivation decides to strike. Eliminating excuses. Sort of.

The parts are sitting on the kitchen table at the moment. Am scared to move them to the shop right now in case I 'forget' that I got them. Am hoping they 'bug' me enough sitting on the table to put them where they go. Sad that my only motivation is frustration and getting upset. Got to start somewhere I guess.

Kay
 
  #73  
Old 08-04-02, 08:18 PM
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Guess what we did today!?!

Besides actually making it to Home Depot, we put the brackets and holders I bought to put up in the shop, where they belong! I'm so excited. Took us forever, too!

Went out there to search for a screw driver. A manual one would have been great. Couldn't find one. That took 20 minutes to discover (discover there wasn't one). All the while I'm singing, dancing around with the dogs underfoot (they're having a blast 'helping' mommy with her stuff!), and chasing after my tools they would find to play with. Then I remembered seeing the cordless drill and decided okay, we'll figure out how to use it. Great, no battery. I found the drill, and the charger, but no battery. I pranced around with a smile on my face, sweat dripping down and still chasing the dogs around the yard. Actually, I'm not whining - it was fun playing with them. Then...I remember that my husband bought me an air compressor and tools to go with it. I've never really used the thing other than to air up the tires on the truck or dust off silk houseplants. It wasn't as easy as I thought. Those things are powerful! I stripped the heads off several screws without actually driving them into the wood. WOW! Okay, hey, Kay has drill bits, too. Lets make pilot holes first, then screw the screws in. That worked better. I honestly think I was drunk from the heat! I was having so much fun when my husband spoiled it for me. He walks back there with this Porter Wagner (oops, thats a singer! Porter Cable) 14.4 volt, cordless drill that he uses at work, and just popped those brackets right up on the walls without a hitch. Darn. Both of us were so hot and tired (he had been at my BIL's helping him to hang ceiling fans on the second floor, they have no a/c after the landlord fixed it even though it was working fine?).

We decided to come in and get something cool to drink before we went back out to do the actual organizing. The icemaker had quit and was nothing but a frozen sheet of ice. We discovered this while standing in a pool of warm water in the kitchen floor. Seems the dishwasher decided to spring a leak from a hose at the same time. He started on the dishwasher, I started on the icemaker. Still don't know the status of the ice maker, but the leak on the dishwasher seems to be fixed. He had fixed the dishwasher (wouldn't fill) a few nights ago, and apparently we didn't get something tightened up enough. The icemaker is filling, but we need to see if its going to dump the ice or not. That was the problem. The ice tray was full, but wouldn't dump so everytime it cycled for the tray to be filled the water would run off the icecubes in the tray and into the bin below. Oh well, will know a little later if I fixed the gears or not in the timer. If not, we can just chip the iceburg in the bin and get ice .

Am heading for the tub, and then for the bed. Geez, I didn't know that having that much fun could be so tiring!

Kay
 

Last edited by kaybyrd; 08-14-02 at 05:36 PM.
  #74  
Old 08-04-02, 09:33 PM
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Kaybyrd

It seems like everything you do around your house opens another can of worms. Can I borrow you and hubby for a couple of weeks to bring up my mountain cabin to snuff? Sounds like you have all the tools?

Everyone is fussing at me for spending $500/month for rent in Louisa, KY. I don't want to own. I own a mountain cabin that need cares. It is so remote that I would have to blackmail someone to help me. If the roof leaks here in Louisa or if there are maintenance problems, they are not mine. They belong to my landlord Mr. Z-. The hall toilet quit working a month ago, but I have been a coward to report it because the one in the laundry room still works.

Don't you love life on a shoe string?
 
  #75  
Old 08-04-02, 09:50 PM
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I love my home, BUT I miss renting. I don't like having to be responsible for fixing everything that goes wrong. I miss paying rent and having that included.

Granted I am paying $150 less to own than rent, but pay that and more every month in repairs and maintenance. Proud to be a homeowner? Nope, more like pinned down since I have a family of hellion kids (yes, worse than mine) living across the street and a survivalist family in the cove, that I can't just wait until the lease is up and move away from them. They rent, so I didn't know what element lived here. When I purchased this house there were NO rental houses on this street, only houses for sale. The owners rented instead of selling.

If you lived just a little closer I would love to come help you with your cabin. Hey, I have toilet experience, too! I have all the tools because my house is falling apart, my truck is falling apart and have to be able to fix them. The only reason I finally got an air compressor and tools is because my dear SIL & BIL were so broke they were going to pawn it. We know how their pawning goes (pawn, never retrieve) so we gave them fair market value for them. Mike felt bad that we didn't give them more, but hey, they didn't buy the thing in the first place (a guy they lived with left and left it, too). PLUS, a big plus, I don't feel guilty since they haven't even bothered to reimburse us the $1300 we loaned them over a period of 2 months to help them get on their feet, put new tires on their truck and catch up a truck note (which got repo-ed anyway two months later). Okay, still a little resentful. Sorry.

Hello! can I borrow your underwear. Honestly girl, my first thought was "why would she want to borrow my underwear? I can send her some new ones....." Okay, beyond sucker, and now officially "dumbace" status!

Kay
 
  #76  
Old 08-04-02, 10:08 PM
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Pickles

So, we were once cucumbers. How did we get pickled. Did we allow it? What the h_ is going on?

It would be cool if you lived down the road from me. I would take advantage of you, but I would pay you for it. The going market rate. I have never taken advantage of anyone.

My neighbors at my mountain cabin are more than well compensated for mowing my grass and feeding me when I am there on weekends.

However, I need someone who can do structural repairs. Their house is rotting down. My house has not reached that point yet.'

Do you know any contractors that would like an old, skinny, red head in the rural mountains of WV?
 
  #77  
Old 08-04-02, 11:00 PM
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I dunno. Lets post an ad in the personals and see. We can use your pic, and put it in the personals down here. See what we come up with *LOL*.

Definitely kidding. I wondered what kind of response I would get if I ran an ad. Probably destroy what little self esteem I have left.

Kay
 
  #78  
Old 08-05-02, 02:22 PM
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Women tend to put themselves down

Why?
 
  #79  
Old 08-05-02, 03:02 PM
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When we were girls, rejection was just a part of life. We didn't care since we didn't know what caring actually was or had the strength to prove them wrong. Today, rejection hurts...no matter how big or small. It chips away at us. We lose our strength (inner strength) because we are giving it away to others.

I had inner strength today. The calm sucker in me had had enough. I'm afraid I was a little rude to the solicitor in the parking lot. He walked toward me, and I pointed my finger at him and said "Don't bother me today." I've encountered these 'college students earning their way to college by selling magazines and books' in every parking lot I end up in, outside every store, and even at my front door. I believe that I've listened to this same boy at my front door. It was also funny that the words "Ma'am may I speak to you for a moment" were in a foreign accent, however after I told him not to bother me his apologizies were in a Northern Mississippi accent.

Oh, where is the balance girls? Why must we teeter totter between suckers and b*s? We do the same with our emotions. Either happy or sad, up or down. Where is the balance? I've tried Prozac and Zoloft. I want balance, not indifference.

Kay
 
  #80  
Old 08-05-02, 10:44 PM
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Today has been an interesting day. I like this feeling, but then again I don't. Almost like balance?!? I have not been super happy or excited today, or overly tired, anxious or frustrated. Strange, it feels both good and uncomfortable.

I went out back this afternoon to feed my doggies, and ended up spending about an hour and a half out there. The lawn mower was sitting in the yard (guess I forgot to put it back in the shop yesterday when hanging brackets) so I thought I would just mow a strip from the gate to the shop. My husband came outside and said that he would go ahead and mow the lawn for me. Okay, so I played ball with the dogs. I jumped into their pool trying to get them to come in and found out why they wouldn't! It was as hot as bath water, and I mean my bathwater (hot and steamin'). I got the water out and refilled it for them. Then it was on! We were hot, and wet. I had grass stuck to me (don't have a bagger) and the dogs did too. We had a blast!

I went out front much later to push the garbage to the street and decided that the ugly bush out front needed to be trimmed. I got out there and trimmed it, then decided I hated it anyway so cut it to the ground. DH and I have determined that if I want it to grow, it will die, and vice versa (isn't that actually visa versa?). I bet that sucker will just continue to grow even though it isn't anything but short sticks poking up. No leaves. I'd love to pull it up but will wait until I can figure out what to do in the area since its roots are running at least a foot in each direction and there are a bunch of them. I have no idea what this thing is, but it looks like an out of control chia pet. It might be pretty in a wild flower garden since its shoots begin long and have yellow flowers on them. Unfortunately, the stems become thick and hollow. When trimming you have to cut right above a set of leaves or it looks like a pin cushion with leaves.

It was dark-thirty when I quit.

Movie revues:

The kids and I watched a movie called Dragonfly. It was strange. Stranger than my story was turning out to be. Who knows, maybe just the kind of thing to sell to the movie guys now-a-days. It was okay, worth watching but wouldn't pay to see it. Thirteen Ghosts was another good movie. Rose Red is long, but scary! Not too gross either. Rose Red is a King movie, and is 2 tapes. I'm thinking with all this movie renting we're doing I might ought to pop the $8 extra a month to have a premium channel like cinemax to watch them instead of renting them each for $4 each. My BIL had rented Dragonfly. They also rented Thirteen Ghosts when we did. We probably should get together on who's renting what so we can swap out and see twice as many movies for half the price. I have to say that my fav movies have been Tomb Raider and the Mummy movies. I guess I like those because of the strength of the women in them. My fav non-drama movie is The Princess Diaries. I liked Dragonfly because the woman was the driving force in the movie and all turned out well because of her.

Okay, am going to...probably go watch a movie or clean the kitchen. Oh, better yet am going to climb into bed at a decent hour for the first time in awhile.

Nite all!

Kay
 
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