Kay's Whining Post, the Saga continues....LOL

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  #121  
Old 10-11-02, 06:23 AM
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YooHoo! I found my head, but can't figure out how to reattach it!

Hasn't been a bad week, just hectic. Everything seems to be hit and run lately. I've been on the boards here long enough to check for posts and questions (sorry if I'm late on some).

I did check out, and have been posting some on another member's board. Its little over my head at times since it has some political debate areas. I must not be a very good citizen since some of these things I have no opinion on. Or maybe its just I don't gripe about things since I can't come up with a solution either so what's the point of just griping? I do read the posts so maybe I can learn something. Alls I end up with is blurring eyes, my head begins to spin...kind of like when I tried to understand poetry in high school. Too eloquent or too many metaphors referring to things I've never heard of or experienced.

Meagan started her gymnastic class last week. She likes it so far. I'm glad. Its not as expensive as I thought. She's home sick from school today. Not sure if she's actually sick or just doesn't feel right. Her mom is going through the same thing! I feel funky too. Not sore, a little stiff, but in different spots than usual. My neck feels like its in a brace. I can move it without hurting, but there are apparently a heck of a lot of muscles there that I haven't used in quite awhile.

I heard from my Vegas kid. He just bought a car. I asked my husband how come he couldn't pay for his own plane ticket to Nashville but could buy a car. Mike said he could buy the car because we purchased the plane ticket. Makes sense. Jeez, I hope this car runs! I have another one of his purchases sitting at the house. It runs, sort of. I would like to fix it up some and at least get my money back out of it. To make a long story short: kids bought car from a friend of a friend. Title to come. Okay, found title at title pawn shop and had to pay off loan for us to get title. Lesson learned, hopefully, by child: if no title, no buy. I have money in this one and would like it back.

The first car he bought he pulled parts of the engine off to see why it ran funny. Okay, eventually the whole top half of the engine ended up in a box. Car ran, then didn't...ever again. Even funnier, purchased car (without title), sold car (without title - engine in box), guy renigged on payment, now have title to said car but have no idea where the car is, LOL. More than likely the car was sold at auction. It was probably impounded by some tow company since the apartment complex of the guy we 'sold' it to was warned several times about tagging it and didn't. Dude said he'd tow it back to the house, didn't, I went to get it and it wasn't there. Oh well. Hopefully lesson learned for kiddo. I, by the way, had no money in that car.

Hope everyone is having a happy and productive week.

Kay
 
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  #122  
Old 10-16-02, 07:24 AM
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Found my head, reattached it and wished I didn't .

Been very crazy around here. Can't even sit down and watch movies with the in-laws (BIL and SIL) without all heck breaking loose. We're at odds with one BIL right now and its uncomfortable since apparently I'm the cause, not what he did. I just stood up to him. Oops, NOT.

Then my BIL (Jeff) was going to plug the tires to my truck. First one worked great, second one didn't hold. Ended up sitting on the side of the road waiting for my DH to come with the air compressor so I could get it home. Pulled the tire off the next day and we plugged it that time. Still have one more nail in there but it will have to wait. I also have a bolt in the back tire so will take it to the shop to have that patched.

Am still trying to get over smashing my thumb while working on the truck last week, or maybe the week before. I haven't been wearing the guard on it since it looks funny, so of course I've done more damage to it.

Tae is going good. Think sometimes they're trying to kill me, though. It's all good, though. I'm finally not sore anymore, except in isolated spots. Just depends on what we do that night. Before EVERYTHING hurt . I do feel better, and sleep better at night now. Have noticed that I also don't feel the need to take naps during the day. I figure that's both from having more energy and sleeping at night instead of napping at night and during the day. Another bonus, big one in my eyes, is that I am coping with day to day, minute to minute things better. I don't seem to have the memory lapses like I use to either. I can remember my phone number off the bat now, and even my tag number. Go figure. I even remembered the power company phone number off the top of my head. Usually I have to look those type numbers up.

Guess that's it for now.

Kay
 
  #123  
Old 10-23-02, 05:01 PM
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Post Scaredy Cat Kay!

Well I'm finally gonna do it.

I have an appointment tonight to see the doctor about my thumb. I'm scared to death! I didn't go after I thought I broke it, but now I have to since the pain is getting worse over time. I can't bend it, etc. etc.

I've heard so many horror stories about them rebreaking bones so they will heal correctly that I have been putting off going. My mom finally convinced me that they won't just hit it with their fist, or a hammer . I'm still scared.

Will post back if I don't die of fright first!

Kay
 
  #124  
Old 10-23-02, 07:28 PM
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Kaybyrd

Get your thumb to the doctor. I made up my mind that I am taking my 3 week cough to the doctor tomorrow. We old ladies are not invincible, yet we can endure pain and aggravation. I am tired. I am down to 116 lbs. I am tired of coughing. My chest muscles are sore. I need to get rid of the aggravation so I can deal with the real aggravations in my life. From what I have researched, antibiotics are not really effective for bronchitis. So, what's the deal? Cortosteroids? I have not symptoms except for the manical cough.
 
  #125  
Old 10-23-02, 08:28 PM
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with bronchitis they may prescribe an antibiotic "just in case". for the bronchitis i've always taken Bidex. It wets you up so you don't cough as much, but when you do its productive. Not sure how it wets up without giving you pnemonia, but it works great for me. only side effect is that you bruise easy when on it.

my thumb is fine. they will go over the xrays with a fine tooth comb in the morning to make sure there isn't a hairline fracture they didn't catch tonight. they will call to let me know. i am to wear my splint for the next 2 weeks, and even if they call to say they found a hairline fracture I am to do the same, except for 4 weeks. i have a lot of swelling around the joint, but nothing unusual for the type injury.

am relieved especially since they don't just rebreak joints, the do it in surgery since they put pins in them! yikes!

go to the doctor patricia. you will feel better within 12hours after taking the first dosage of meds. if you're lucky he'll give you a sinus cocktail and you will feel so good for the first 6 hours that you will be bouncing of the walls, and singing a happy song!

Kay
 
  #126  
Old 10-23-02, 09:36 PM
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bronchitis

Twelvepole,
We are neighbors, I'm across the river in WV. Have been sick since last of August. Started with Bronchitis, took antibiotic & steroids for 10 days. Felt better, not great. Ended up with pneumonia and then pleurisy from coughing my head off, and after more antibiotics and high dose steroids for 14 days, got bronchitis again. Dr said our area has an outbreak of a dangerous viral bronchitis that of course doesn't respond to antibiotics. Go to the Dr. this crap is bad news. I'm just now starting to feel better after 2 trips to ER and 1 to my Dr and a zillion breathing treatments and $$ later! Hope you feel better soon!
 
  #127  
Old 10-24-02, 05:57 AM
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Indigoblue,

Could this hack n cough deal going around be the same thing that you had? I'm in Northern MS. I haven't noticed if anyone on the west coast has mentioned having it.

I do know that today I feel better than I did a few weeks ago, but there are times when I feel like I've got it again. I did talk to a gentlemen in the doctors office last night. He was waiting on xrays. The poor man had bronchitis and now he thought it had turned into pnemonia. He said that he never knew it could be so much trouble to breathe, and wear you out so much just to try.

I went to bed last night chilled, almost like I was running a fever or had the flu. Mike checked my temp, but I knew I didn't have one since I had just come from the doctors office. I've noticed that I do that now when I'm tired. I never did that before I had the hack n cough.

I am wondering if its like the kissing disease (monolucliosis?) and just takes forever to get over and/or your body to recover from. I'm going to try taking vitamin C 3x a day, and drink lots of water. Something they did discover at the docs is that I'm anemic (can't spell it but I can be it ).

My husband is scheduled for a flu shot this week. I'm glad. I never knew the ins and outs of the flu shot but apparently they only make so much of the stuff. They have some sort of criteria list to determine who needs it the most. He's high on the list since he does work in hospitals on occassion doing the wiring for their data/voice communications. This strikes my husband as strange since the hospital wing they're working in now isn't even open, and is detached from the main buildings. The reason this does strike him as odd is that a few years ago he worked a year long job, in a research hospital and wasn't offered the flu shot. Daycare workers, home health workers, nurses and doctors are high on the list of those needing the shots. Also, mothers of children and children between the ages of 6 mos and 23 months.

Why is this shot not readily available for everyone? I encounter my neice who is 17 months old? Her mom doesn't have insurance and can't afford the shot, I have insurance but am not eligible. My insurance won't cover it since I'm not in the "need to" listings but can get it and be covered on insurance later in the year.

Okay, that ones too deep for me to ponder right now.

Kay
 
  #128  
Old 10-24-02, 01:26 PM
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Kaybyrd

Sounds like the same thing. I started out with my sinus' bothering me and then started coughing. Then my chest got really raw from hacking and coughing. I'd feel better one day and worse the next. I'd chill one minute and not the next.....on and on. Good grief! Antibiotics seemed to work but then didn't. Then they put me on Tequin for 7 days, supposed to kill anything in you! Then I got pneumonia. I think I probably had the viral bronchitis to begin with and it went downhill from there. My Dr's office was full of people with it. They told me half the people there were ones without appointments who had this crap. My husband gets a flu shot,heart attack last year, and he wasn't sick at all! Makes no sense who gets them. Hope you get better and I don't get it again, gheez winter isn't even here yet!
 
  #129  
Old 10-24-02, 05:42 PM
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Twelvepole

Did you get to the doctor today?

Kay
 
  #130  
Old 10-26-02, 07:39 AM
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I hope everyone is feeling better today. I know I am. I've had a sinus infection, again. I don't know which is worse, the burning sensation in my sinus, or the headache that seems to blind me in my right eye. I haven't been able to eat anything but toast, and bouillion crud. I have been so sick to my stomach that I was scared to eat anything but toast. Someone mentioned putting a little bit of onion in my bouillion drink and it honestly helped my headache ease up. I started feeling better by the evening time last night, and eventually ended up eating a slice of pizza at mom's when I dropped off the kids. Then, on the way home from Memphis I stopped at Sonic and ate a Sonic-sized breaded chicken sandwich with cheese, and tater tots. Guess I was starving to death! I feel a little better today. The headache isn't as bad, I can breate a little easier but the biggest thing is that I have more strength today. It makes sense though, if you're sick then you must eat to keep your strength up to fight it off.

I hate to eat when I'm sick since I hate to throw up. Makes my head hurt worse, plus I just hate it period. Last night was also the first night that I didn't have 2 or 3 blankets piled on top of our comforter. I don't know if its because I finally ate something substantial or the fact that I've been on iron suppliments for 3 days now.

I am hoping that my hopes and dreams aren't going to get dashed to the ground. I've decided to make taekwondo very important in my life. One, I enjoy it. Two, I am hoping that if I become more active that I won't be as susceptible to illness. It seems a battle right now since I haven't been able to attend class but one night a week due to sinus problems or the hack n cough resurfacing.

One wonderful side effect of the tae is that I have stopped smoking as much. It has just happened. I've smoked since I was 16. Actually when I was 12, but not seriously then. I started my 2 pack a day habit when I was in my mid twenties and have continued that pattern for the last, what 15 years (I'm 40). I would quit for the duration of my pregnancies, but would resume immediately after the child was born. I did this 4 times in my life. I know I can quit, the desire hasn't been strong enough though.

Another great side effect is how much water I crave. I, just a mere month ago, could not stomach water. I would take medication with my coffee or a coke. My coffee intake has been reduced to one pot a day as opposed to countless pots during the day.

Okay, guess that's enough chatter for one sitting

Kay
 
  #131  
Old 11-09-02, 08:23 PM
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Been a very busy week for us here! Went to Nashville last weekend to see my Vegas kid. Pretty trying on the way up since the truck decided that it wanted to develop a hole in the radiator and it seems that it also wants to leak oil from every possible point in the engine. We made it, and had a great weekend with Lee. It was good to see him. He is doing so well, and is happy. That means the world to me, and now that I have seen him I believe it when he says things are going good for him.

We ended up staying an extra night in Nashville so that we wouldn't be driving home any time during dark. It gets dark so early now with the daylight savings deal. We didn't have the troubles going home that we did on the trip there. Apparently the stop leak I stuck in the radiator and the oil leak stop I used in the engine took hold. The pulley on the power steering pump is acting a fool and shakes the whole truck so the trip home was a little rough riding, but with less stops. We also discovered that the truck will no longer go over 60 mph. Just can't do it. Engine time. After figuring up what an engine, radiator and tires for the truck would cost, my dear hubby bought me a newer car today. Its a Taurus wagon, and I love it. I was afraid that I would feel funny driving something lower to the ground and smaller, but I truly love this car! Its so nice to get in the car and it crank right up, no smoke and no noise! It has power everything! Windows, seats, etc. I feel like a spoiled brat. The best part is that we got such a good deal on it that I don't have to go back to work to pay for it either! I'm really excited guys!

Ian tested for his next belt at tae last night. He did well, again. He's such a natural at this! I'm so proud of him. We found out that when we move to the new building in January they are going to offer kick boxing. I think Elizabeth is wanting to take that. She wants to take something, but wasn't really excited about the whole tae deal (forms, one steps, etc) so this is right up her alley. I will check into that more as January approaches.

Meagan still loves gymnastics and is doing well with it. She's been sedentary like her mom, so its been more of a getting in shape deal before we can actually progress in our programs. She can already do a standing back bend, so that's exciting in itself.

Guess that's it for now. Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

kay
 
  #132  
Old 11-16-02, 08:13 PM
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Whew!

Been a stressful week for me. I've been trying to practice what I preach and it hasn't been easy!

We just bought a car and had to put some money down on it. Not easy for us since we live paycheck to paycheck. My hubby makes enough money to support us beautifully, but I have trouble controlling my spending. I've been concerned about us recovering from this purchase.

I decided that I should try to find a job. I enjoy being a stay at home mom, however I also believe that I get bored and try to find things to amuse me, or get frustrated with the same ol' same ol' so I purchase new things to change my life. Okay, I know that changes, true changes, come from within not the other way around. I am also enlisting my sister in law's help on the grocery shopping thing. I spend too much, and never have the right stuff or enough to last through the week. My foolish pride keeps me from asking for help. I've always been the helper, not the helpee. I'm realizing that there is no shame in asking for help when its asking for a hand up, not a hand out.

We had a yard sale this weekend. I didn't do very well. That's okay however. It wasn't about the money this time for me. It was about getting rid of the extra crud I have around the house. Not only do I take in every stray animal, I also am bad to take things off other people's hands when they decide they need to get rid of junk. I could have probably opened a used furniture and clothing store when we first moved into this house a year ago. I had so much stored that we had a storage building. Unfortunately when we moved here I stuck it all in the workshop, which leaks, and it all ruined. That's okay, it had been in storage for years anyway. What didn't get ruined went straight to goodwill. As I slowly but surely get rid of the clutter in my home (no, despite some opinions you cannot really organize clutter - it is spring loaded, plus takes up the necessary space needed for the stuff in your house you really need), which is making me feel better about myself. I haven't lost my keys in two weeks now! I am hoping and praying to the opti-gods that I can find my glasses eventually. Its almost as though the lighter I make my house, the lighter my spirit feels. The other day a strange question popped into my head: I wonder what the weight limit in a house is? When will the subflooring give and my floor fall into the crawl space below the house? Funny thought, but it is something that I had to focus on as to why I would ask such a question...unless...I had so much stuff, too much stuff!?!?

The animal shelter took my 3 dogs off my hands earlier this week along with the momma cat and her kittens. They've already found a home for Sparkles and her kittens (package deal, nice!). I talked with them about the living conditions of the dogs and how I thought that I was not a very good pet owner. I told them I love my dogs, but I can't take care of them. They came out to look at them, and said that it shouldn't be a problem to find them homes. I miss my babies guys! I know that I did the right thing. They were behind on their shots, and lived in a 2 dog kennel instead of having an open area. That's not right. If I can't take care of them and really love them, then I will give them a chance at a good, healthy and happy life. One of the hardest decisions that I've ever had to make, but I do know that it was the right one. They got their shots, plenty to eat, and also got a refreshing bath when they got there. They will be so much better off now.

Its been a very strange week for me, but as I mentioned earlier about me worrying about the purchase and doubting myself (trying not to doubt myself: trusting my gut) everything has already levelled itself out. My instructors are working very hard with me at taekwondo on our word of the month: self-respect. There are two aspects that I truly need to focus. One being that I need to trust myself, and two, to be easy on myself. I doubt everything I do so I either make the wrong decisions or don't make a decision that should be made. I also push and punish myself to hard/much. I've had to slow down at tae. For some silly reason I feel I should 'get this' a lot quicker than I do. I feel that I haven't made progress. I have, because of this, hurt myself. I have pulled my hamstring in my left leg, and some other muscle close by. I did this about a week ago, and have (finally) listened carefully to my instructors both in class and the instructions they gave me on how to care for the muscle at home and I'm getting well very quickly. I'm also progressing much faster at tae now that I've backed off a little. I have been attending class 3 nights a week, plus working out faithfully (too hard) at home everynight as well. I've backed off to two classes per week, and the workout at home consists of simple stretches and strengthening techniques, but only for 20-30 minutes a day - spread out during the day.

I'm getting there. Slowly but surely. I have more patience today (still fret, but not nearly as much as I used to do). I also remind myself that it took me 40 years to become who I am today (good and bad habits) so I can't expect to change overnight. I am learning to be more patient with myself, which in turn has allowed me to be more patient with my children.

I hate that I haven't been active on the boards lately. I have been trying to focus on myself a little so I can become a better person. Many of you have reminded me that I need to take care of myself. To quit focusing on everyone else's needs all the time so that I don't become resentful or lose sight of who/what I want to be or already am. Thank you!

Kay
 
  #133  
Old 11-16-02, 08:54 PM
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Kaybyrd takes control

I have really enjoyed sharing your trials and tribulations the past months and being witness to your personal growth. I am sorry about your injury with the Tae, but it is as with everything in life that you and I have tried, we have pulled something and suffered pain. You will recuperate from this, too, and move forward to master. Sounds like the household has gotten much roomier after decluttering, yard sale, and reduced pet population.

Who gets to drive the new vehicle? Are you going to have to do major mechanical overhaul, our darling master mechanic?

A job will get you outside your own world and give you a wider perspective. I know it has been a while. The change, however, will upset the apple cart at home and there will need to be adjustments.

I live alone and drag home after work dead tired. Too, tired most nights to feed myself. Perhaps, if there were someone or something here, I would rally forth. It's just me. So, I don't care. You are so lucky you are surrounded with family and friends. I don't have to worry about my door bell ringing, so I don't even care if I take out the trash. This is an ex-Martha Stewart talking. Life alone can be a heavy burden.

I have had pneumonia for the past month, without my knowledge. A relentless cough that drove my bookkeeper crazy forced her to make a doctor's appointment for me. Pneumonia in the left lung and a cough the cracked a rib on the right side. I am over it, but still not 100%. I have forced myself to eat, so now I am up to 120 lbs. A heavy weight.

Work and worries tend to occupy my time except when I am at home where I tend to email and internet forums. The paint buckets and supplies still sit in the breakfast room, and I have never completed cleaning and painting of this rental.

I feel like I am lost in limbo somewhere. I envy you, Kaybyrd.
 
  #134  
Old 11-17-02, 07:40 AM
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That's strange since I envy you Patricia. There are times that I think living alone is more my cup of tea, although I would miss my family after awhile. I have trouble trying to take care of myself, and it is more complicated when I have to consider 4 others all the time. I also admire the fact that you have your own business. I know that's tough, but I do admire your self-esteem and self-motivation to get out there and make money, be your own boss, etc.

I agree that working outside the home would broaden my perspective. It would be nice to have adult conversations more often, conversations about things other than those involving my children or other's children, and all the petty fussing that goes on here. Then again, it will be the same type deal out there too. I remember thinking the last time I worked how a majority of the young adults and adults I worked with were on the same page as my children! However, the fact that I experienced new things and became more aware of the world around made it bearable for the most part. It would also serve to help me see that I'm not alone in the trials and tribulations I experience. That there are others going through the same things or something similar.

I am the one who gets to drive the car. Its so nice. I was playing around with it the other day while moving the jumper cables and flashlights from the truck to the back of the wagon in a spot I thought was for a second spare. Turns out if you pull this lever, the rest of the compartment opens up and there is a seat, complete with seatbelts, for two more passengers. That was a nice find! They would have to ride backwards, but in a pinch that will come in handy. This car has a warranty so I won't be doing any mechanic work on it, thank goodness! This is a front wheel drive, computerized car so I'm at a total loss on how to do much of anything except changing the oil and putting gas in it. I'm not sure I can even change the oil since it sits so low to the ground. Its been so nice to not have to stop and put more fuel in it, or oil, or water. I've driven it just as much as the truck and still have a half tank of gas! I believe that even though we are making a car payment for a few months, we will come out cheaper on a monthly basis. Between the excessive amounts of fuel the truck uses, the oil it burns and the constant repairs it needs on a monthly basis we should at the very least break even. If that's not the case, just the simple fact that I don't have to make sure I have my cellphone with me, don't have to alert the neighbors that I'm going somewhere so I know who will be around to call if I have trouble, and also that I don't feel I have to keep the mechanics number, or the tow service number close at hand anymore makes the car payment seem minimal to me. The car is well insulated so I don't have to worry about someone being chilled in the back while we're roasting up front or the other way around in the summer months. I actually feel more secure in the littler car than the big truck since it has power to get up and go quickly so I can get out of the way, if necessary. I don't have to wait until I can see no cars in either direction for miles before I can pull out or onto the expressway. I can go 0 to 60 in less than 10.5 seconds now! LOL The truck would go, just took it a little time to get there. Its a work truck. Never designed to be a town vehicle. Now that's its older and the engine more worn, it is definitely not a towncar!

Something that might help as far as painting the kitchen is to do it in 15 minute increments. I know that sounds backwards to what most tell you: just knock it out, yadayada. That doesn't work for me. Takes longer that way, or never gets finished since I get overwhelmed or sidetracked. I found a paint tray that seals up so you can leave your paint, paint brush and roller in it. It will last up to a week that way. Just stir it again before using it. This way I don't put it off until I have a whole day or two to block out for this project. It also allows me to not have to clear out the entire room at once. Just the area where I'm going to work, and no more. Today the paints are much nicer and easier to work with so color variations due to different painting times aren't as obvious. I used the excuse that I couldn't knock out all the cutting in at one time or taping off to keep me from even beginning. Just beginning seems to be the biggest obstacle to me.

I wouldn't begin the painting part until you've had more time to recover from your pnemonia. I wouldn't want to risk it coming back since you're lung is trying to finish healing itself. And take care of that rib! Cracked ribs hurt so much.

My leg is feeling so much better. I talked to my instructor about me using the FlexAll 454 on it. They told me not to use it, and of course the doubting Thomas that I am, checked with a nurse to verify what they said. I am to NEVER use it before any type of exercise, and should use it only if necessary to help me move the leg period. Both explained it with the rubber band example. If you heat a rubber band it become more pliable and elastic. However, if pulled too far it is weaker and can break. If you put the rubber band in a cool place after warming it up then it shrinks up smaller than before, plus is more brittle and breaks just as easily as it would snap when warmed. I am using a heating pad, and do gentle stretches, and more of them for that particular leg. I do have some trouble with kicks involving the right leg since it seems to stretch the left hamstring and inner thigh muscle to do them. There is another muscle in the back of my thigh (have no clue as to its name) but it is also pulled. I didn't realize it until the other muscles began to heal and the pain there became obvious. I'm getting well, and still progressing in tae.

I was to test on Thursday for my next belt but something happened at tae and we couldn't do it. Belt rank promotions are tomorrow, so I need to speak with my instructor about what I need to do. I've already paid, and already received the promotion simply based upon my attitude and dedication in and outside of the classroom, however, I did not perform my form or one-steps in front of the class. I wonder if I will perform before promotions or will he ask me to wait to rank up after the next testing period? We shall see, and I will post the results. My rank will be a recommended orange belt instead of a declared if anyone is wondering how that works. I will have to be declared an orange belt before I can test for the next belt level. Although it sounds like it, they don't give the belts just for the fun of it. They do have to be earned, even a recommended.

Kay
 
  #135  
Old 11-17-02, 11:38 AM
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Tae

Congrats on the promotion and belt! Nurse the leg and take care.

The new car sounds great. I have a little Kia. Great gas mileage. When I first got it, I was whining to my staff that I thought it was suppose to get 40+ miles to the gallon but I could see the gas hand go down. They laughed, "The tank is only 10 gallons, Patricia!"

Working outside the home does enrich and provide one with a different perspective. I agree that many of the adults one encounters in the work place are on the level of small kids. I deal with the public every day. Geez! You would not believe some of the people I encounter and how whiney they are.

I did not paint this weekend. Instead, I sat here at DIY.com. I am however going to rally forth and do some laundry and cleaning. I am feeling much better, and my attitude and appetite have improved.

Thanks for caring.
 
  #136  
Old 11-17-02, 11:28 PM
GwyniChaela
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hmmm

I cant even keep up with you....

You guys make my life sound like a breeze.....

(btw, no hack and cough over here) No big pneumonia outbreaks over here, just Whooping Cough......(thanks hospitals for being so kind as to spread that for is over here)



I just wanted to say hi!! (again) and I miss you all.....put in several new notes around here, headed to bed soon, and will try to finish up tomorrow what I dont get done tonight!!!
 
  #137  
Old 11-18-02, 05:55 AM
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Chelle,

Its kind of weird to think about, but look how our lives have switched in a way. All the times I told you that it made me tired to listen to how active your life was and how slow paced mine was. Now I'm running ninety to nothing and you're being still for awhile and studying. Nothing is concrete is it? Pretty strange.

I now believe that you can do anything if you want it bad enough. If I want to go to school bad enough, I will find a way to make it happen and blend into our lives. If I want to go back to work, I can make that happen, too.

We have evolved into better people over the past months. We're just a few months shy of being at a year's mark in just our journaling online here.

I watched the YaYa Sisterhood the other day. Its a girl movie, but I thought it was neat how the 'sisters' rallied for each other. Pretty neat. I get that online here. Although we don't physically live down the street from each other, we do have our computers to help us rally, plus telephones.

YaYa!

Kay
 
  #138  
Old 11-18-02, 10:39 AM
GwyniChaela
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I didnt watch the movie.....too girly for my tastes, but I agree - we have come so close in the last 9-10 months. I look at my baby, and see in her the time I have invested in you....she was less than a month old when I signed on here.

Wow, what would I do without my sisters here...and the great guys too??????
 
  #139  
Old 11-18-02, 10:40 AM
GwyniChaela
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Switching

I kinda like the quietness btw!!

Tho there is all sorts os other stressors going on right now.....my goodness....if I had all that and THEN everything else I was doing...no thanks.

I now have TWO houses to clean!! And TWO sets of laundry....heck I got two sets of everything to do now! If I added much more, I wouldnt even remember what a computer WAS!
 
  #140  
Old 11-19-02, 08:20 AM
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I know that these forums have been a blessing for me. More than just a place to gripe, and unwind, but also where to get information to make my life so much easier.

I don't think that I would have had the guts to start taekwondo without the personal encouragement in EVERY aspect of my life here in the forums. I think being accepted unconditionally is the greatest gift here that I've ever received.

I'm checked when being a fool (if you didn't care, you wouldn't say anything about rethinking my actions or plan), and give encouragement when trying something new and exciting (scarey to the starting the new adventure!).

Kay
 
  #141  
Old 11-20-02, 12:33 PM
GwyniChaela
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Whats amazing is that you have been as much of a supporter as you have been a supportee.....

Look at the time you've logged here...and the amount of posting you have done...


you have done MORE than your fair share of helping around here. And I dont think anyone would want it any other way..


Thank you. From my heart, for being my mom/sister/friend....exactly when I needed it.

Thank you now for being there for me to bounce ideas off of...and to listen when I need to ramble!!
 
  #142  
Old 11-20-02, 12:57 PM
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You're welcome, and right back atcha babydoll!

Kay
 
  #143  
Old 11-20-02, 01:09 PM
GwyniChaela
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LOL.....

You make me smile when the day is hard.....

I LOVED talking to you the other night, helped me understand you a little better...


You're quite the wonder woman.....

And thanks, btw (for the unknown courage you helped out with with my tongue....lolololololol)
 
  #144  
Old 11-20-02, 02:58 PM
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Sisterhood

If women would band together, they could rule the world. It isn't often that you find women who pull together. It's a special occasion. Most women are back biting, disloyal, and competitive. Thus, this is one of the many factors that plays into low self-esteem in women.

True friends are non-judgmental, loyal, supportive, honest, and caring. That's the DIY Sisterhood. Yaya!

I have truly enjoyed sharing your growth over the past few months. You two, kaybyrd and GwyniChaela, have grown so much that you are bursting at the seams. Many changes have occurred in your lives. Changes and growth can be painful and stressful and require lots of adjusting. I think both of you deserve blue ribbons.

I, too, have gone through many changes during the past few months. Slowly, gradually, I am learning how to focus on myself rather than others. It's tough to retrain an old Irish setter. My hair is still red, my eyes brown, my nose cold, and heart warm. Yet, I need to remember that the old dog needs to eat, sleep, and get out and run in the sunshine.


It is important that we surround ourselves with happy, highly motivated, successful, caring individuals that do not suck us dry.

You go, girls!!!!!
 
  #145  
Old 11-20-02, 03:25 PM
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I dont know what to do with myself!!

I am so busy today keeping up with Christmas gifts on eBay, throwing away half the crud in the kitchen that was CLEANED last god only knows when, doing laundry (and putting it away immediately), literally SCRUBBING down everything in sight and then vaccumming.......and frantically squeezing in studying for my pre-final tomorrow night, and still I am getting to sit down and hear from two of my favorite people in the whole world.

Twelvepole, you too have been an unending source of support and love for me. I worry my little head off about you, but I know you will always be here for me to bounce ideas off of. Thank you..

I wish that I could spend more time (like I used to) living on this site. I dont think anything else would get done...but o well!!

I want to know that if ever I get the chance, I am coming over to see both of you....THAT's what I want for Christmas. I am NOT looking forward to the holidays.. Yes, I have a wonderful caring man...but he also has family...mine own are going to be with grandparents whom I am no longer speaking to (havent in quite some time). I just want to hide in the closet until the new year...
 
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Old 11-20-02, 04:34 PM
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I'm not much into Christmas anymore either. I do have my family to spend it with, and it is getting easier. The gift giving is getting lighter, which is helping to teach my children that I'm not rich. My mother is, but she isn't going to be remembered for her money. After I told her what memories I have of my grandmother, she was in shock. She doesn't want that to be the same between her and her grandchildren. See, I don't remember the wonderful person that my mom and aunts talk about. I remember the woman who would buy many anything and everything I wanted if I asked for it. Sadly, this is the memory of her even though she passed away when I was 18 years old! I begged my mom to never allow that to be her situation. Today it is easier to go to her house at Christmas since I don't have to hear my kids gripe because one of their packages from Grana is smaller than so-and-so's. My kids are honestly getting to the point where they are just enjoying the fact that it is the one time a year that their most favorite relatives end up all in one place. We play bingo after eating a small meal on Christmas eve and pigging out on all the baked goods.

My father has been dead for 14 years now and Christmas is still the hardest time of year for me. He died shortly after Christmas, but the memory of a once strong man so thin and on oxygen is still in my mind. I am going to talk to my mother about getting a bunch of pictures together of dad when he was healthy and strong. I've spoken with my cousin as well about the 'last' Christmas memory we have of dad and she has it imbedded in her brain, too. I think its time that we recover from losing my father. I think its time that we all remember him for who is was and what he did for all of us, and still does since he was such a honest, loving and giving man. I think it will be good for us to get a 'new' picture of my 'old' dad in our memory banks.

Kay
 
  #147  
Old 11-20-02, 04:41 PM
GwyniChaela
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Good for you Kay, to be strong and wanting to heal....

Think of where we were ten short months ago, seems like a lifetime, huh?

It really has been, in many ways. I have not stopped going since I got married, but this year has been exceptionally hard.

My hope for you is that you have fun, relax, and enjoy your day with your family. I am glad that you are able to be with everyone dear to you!!

And you will be a much happier person once your thoughts of dad are mended!!
 
  #148  
Old 11-20-02, 05:17 PM
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Gift giving

I sent both my children a T-giving card today with a note inside. I told both of them that I have had pneumonia and dental problems and that between medical and dental bills that I regret that there will be no Christmas gifts this year. My husband is wealthy and so is his family, so it is not like my children are deprived. I ended my note that I wish they would keep in touch via email or telephone or mail. Good luck, Patricia! You will not hear from your children. You never do.

If I had more money than my husband and could arrange cruises, exploratory trips to regions unknown, and write checks for educational loans, then I would be a heroine. Sorry, but I am me. I had to walk from my marriage because I am a woman who does not tolerate oppression.

Yes, I left my life's work and fortune. I live week to week and day to day, supporting a small business. I must prevail and succeed. I refuse to be defeated.

No, I am not interested in those people who want to fix me up with someone else. The 'someone elses' have been the ones who took everything I worked for my whole life and the one person who claimed that he owned half of everything that I had. It will take me another 5-6 years to overcome my stupidity and the men that claimed they loved me. Never again. I lock my doors and set my security system.

Gifts are not within my realm of financial expertise any more. Gifts don't really mean anything. It is suppose to be tje thought that counts. I have many thoughts and no dollars this season.

Holidays put too much demand and stress on all of us. I sincerely feel that to opt out is a significant alternative. I just simply can't do the holiday season. I have no money. No spirit.

If I can make it to my mountain cabin and build a fire and finish reading the book that I started there, then I will feel complete. I can not allow myself to be responsible for the feelings of others. I try to keep the communication lines open. My family has my telephone numbers, email, and mailing addresses. Do I hear from them? No.

Was I involved in the planning of my daughter's wedding 12/28? No. It will be a giant step for a hermit to venture forth to this event.
 
  #149  
Old 11-20-02, 05:32 PM
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Patricia,

Are you going to go? I can't say that I would. If my children reject me then I would do no more than keep the lines of communication open for them.

This year for Christmas the kids got a decent vehicle in which to ride. One that will safely get us back and forth to the grocery store, and sporting events. Safely get us to our loved ones homes and back again. This car is our means to be able to go see their brother in Vegas next summer.

They are extremely upset that I have sold the truck. I need the money, not for Christmas presents, but to lower the insurance costs and to also afford plane tickets for the Vegas kid so he can come home and see his family. His father wonders why he doesn't call him. His father was angry when he left, and won't help me fly him home. When Lee does call his father, he is told that he is a fool and shouldn't live so far away. Lee is a wonderful and forgiving child. He has already asked when he is home for Christmas can he borrow the car so he can go see his father and the rest of that side of the family. He's a good kid.

Meagan and Ian aren't as forgiving toward their father. They want Mike to adopt them. They are so angry with him that they sold the things he's bought for them at a yard sale. I let them. He had written a letter to my daughter telling her that it was okay if Mike adopted them. He told her that he didn't like the way they live. They are dirty and covered in head lice. Meagan was hoping for a letter that said something like: it will be a cold day in hell before I give up the right to be your father. Sadly, it broke her heart to the point that I don't know if even time will heal. I hope that I can keep the lines of communication open between them in case he ever changes. I don't think that he ever will. It is sad. So sad. His mother will call wanting to see them around Christmas. I'm not sure what I'm going to tell her. The kids want to see her, but her father will be there, too. They don't want to go through that in person. Meagan is only 12. I know that is a preteen, but she is still a child, and still my responsibility. It will be a hard one to deal with, but I will to the best of my ability. I don't want to burn a bridge that isn't mine to begin with, but I also refuse to push my children into a situation that evokes terror and dread. Maybe I will just tell her what I wrote here. If she understands, great. If not, then she is no better than their father with regards to her grandchildren's emotional well-being.

Kay
 
  #150  
Old 11-20-02, 05:34 PM
GwyniChaela
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Strength

Twelvepole,

You are strong, and will continue to be strong.

Money should NOT equal happiness, and I pity those who think it does.

I shout cheers of support and love to you - who will attend her daughter's wedding with an upright head, and a strong smile.

I love you for your courage, your wisdom, and your support to those who need it.
YOU are the one who needs the support now. I send to you all my love, all my care, and all my thoughts. I wish YOU a HAPPY HOLIDAY season...being who you are, and being strong for yourself instead of someone else. Take care of yourself, and keep your cell phone on. I guarantee there are those of us here that WILL NOT allow you to go a holiday season without love.

All my love to you, my angel.
 
  #151  
Old 11-20-02, 05:37 PM
GwyniChaela
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Oh Kay...


My prayers are with you, that you will find the right words to say when the time comes.......

May you use the strength you have found here to back the courage I know you have...
 
  #152  
Old 11-24-02, 07:02 PM
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pissy mood

Don't know what else to call it, but that's what it is. I have been practicing my ability to not lash out at people this week or weekend. Getting to be a habit. However, I still am not sure what to do with all this frustration that I have building up inside. My entire family, kids and husband, never and I mean never cease to amaze me on how foolish, idiotic and lazy they can be.

One has a report due tomorrow. That's fine, we've been researching it and were ready to put it together this morning. Okay, the child says to me that they don't know how to do it. This was the middle of last week. I tell the child how to set it up. Nope, that's not right. Okay, if I'm not right, and they don't know how to do it, then what makes them think I'm wrong? How would they know, they don't know either. Okay, so I then explain how to do it again, this time exactly opposite of how I know its suppose to be done (I know because I've taken the time to review the instruction sheet the teacher sent home with said child). Child tells me no, let me show you. Child finished project. Go figure. With this child the moral of the story is, tell them the exact opposite of how to do it, and they will do exactly the opposite of what I've said and do it correctly.

Another child just tells me that I need to get off the computer so they can do their homework. Whatever. I don't know of any class that gives homework out of a textbook that requires you to look it up online. Hellllloooow, the answers are in the text, read it. Now they're in a pissy mood too. Hmm...seems they had forgotten to do it earlier. Maybe because they were picking out jewelry with this friend, or on the phone with this one, or hey, even maybe because when they got on the computer the first time today to do homework they accidentally ended up over at MTV .com instead of researching their homework. Hhhmmmm. Besides, its my computer and what if, oh say, I were to cut all the cables and cords to it, would you then fail school the rest of the year? Tell me to get off my computer...

This is also the same child that has no idea who this boys is when I mention his name. This boy who calls 500 times a day, and she answers and talks to him as though she recognizes him? Hhhmmm. Her new screenname at MTV .com is Joey's girl. Hmmmm. I'm about tired of having to play detective. I think she keeps these boys from me so I can spend half my life playing detective, finding out names addresses and ages. Last one (not Joey, but Chris), liar out the rear end, she's running a close race with him for liar of the year. She stills argues that he is only 19. The only truth about the boy is that his birthday was this month. He's 21, dropped out of school, has 2 or 3 girls on the side, works as a volunteer at the fire department (not as a fireman) and has a 1 year old child. Been married, but I haven't determined if he still is or not, don't care since I've threatened the boy with jail if he calls or comes near my child again. That's after I throw a little 'wrath of Kay' on his sorry butt. Jeez, its getting tough being a mom.

Youngest just bought a new toy. Exciting. He sold some things at our yard sale and bought it with his 'own' money. I now know more about this transformer than I care to know. I ask him to not tell me anymore, especially the stuff he's already mentioned, which by the way is everything about it. His reply, but I love you mom and I want to share my toy with you. Okay, if you love me like you say you do, give me the *@&! toy and go clean up your room. He disappears, to his room and yes, with the toy. Won't see him for a few more hours when he either thinks I've forgotten about taking the toy and him cleaning his room, or he's forgotten about it.

The clincher is my husband. How many times must I say "NO I will not take less than $1700 for the truck" before he gets that $1000 isn't $1700, nor is $1200 the same as $1700? This is the man that I have begged to help me with the finances. I am horrible with a budget, moreso with the "I want therefore I buy" syndrome that runs so deeply in my blood. I made many many pleas for him to help me with the finances over the past year. He will sit down for one night and help me sort out things. That's it. No budget, no more input. Worthless. I, just the other day, made a wrong comment. He actually heard what I said, worse yet, he took it to heart and took action. I made the stupid statement in frustration that I may as well sell the truck for $500 so I can buy a plane ticket for my son so he can come home for Christmas. Guess what guys! Two seconds later he's on the phone and has a buyer for the truck. Get this: $1000. Gets better, I promise. They have to make payments. What the freak? Please. Someone help me! Okay, so I finally get the price straight. Deals off. Yeah, and Whew! Next day, friend of guy that we first talked to calls and says hey I hear you're selling the truck for $1000. Jeez, it never ends does it. I'm so frustrated that I tell the dude that if he has $1200 cash he can come get it. He comes over and says it has too much wrong with it. One of the thngs he said was wrong was the wheel bearings. Guys, if that was what wrong with the truck I would have fixed it a long time ago. Funny too, wheel bearings make the noise the truck is making the WHOLE time the truck is moving, not just when you push the gas. No brainer, promise. Its the power steering pump, but if I fix it, the price goes up another $500 just because I'm mad and he's an idiot. He leaves. Good. Then I get a call yesterday from BIL. So and so in Louise Mississippi wants a hunting truck. Email him pics of the truck, he has cash and is willing to pay - you guessed it - $1000. Whatever. Like I'm burning a hole in my shoes to find the digital camera to email him pics of a truck I won't sell for less than $1700.

Guys, it spreads further than just my family! A co-worker of my BIL is behind on his mortgage, and second mortgage. He's going to have to let his house go, and move in with his dad. The condition: he has to quit work. Guess who is now trying to borrow money from his boss to buy the truck - you guessed it, for $1000. Whatever. Trucks not for sale. I told my husband, who isn't speaking to me right now, that we were going to try this for a change. The truck isn't for sale. One day he will come home, and I will have sold it for $1700 and all will be well in my world. The truck is mine, is in my name, bought it before we got married, and I will deal with this. I WILL NOT give my truck away.

Yes, I'm pissed. But better to be pissed than pissed on.

Am now going to have a shot of tequila and pray that the idiot disease that is running rampant around here doesn't invade my body during sleep. Maybe it would be better if it did. Then I wouldn't have to deal with the idiots, just blend...

Kay
 
  #153  
Old 11-27-02, 08:16 AM
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Am getting over my stupid mood, slowly but surely. It helps to know that I will be going out of town on Friday. Just what I need, a road trip.

I am planning to go to my best friends house in KY. It really doesn't matter where she lives, just that I feel so relaxed while there that I forget about home for a few days. I come home relaxed and with a new outlook on my home and life.

Kay
 
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