Serious neighbor problems. Please help


Old 12-09-06, 06:12 PM
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 2
Unhappy Serious neighbor problems. Please help

I am a mother to two boys. I live in a duplex I rent. I just recently renewed my lease. My neighbor on the other side of this duplex was recently raided by police on suspicion of soliciting a minor for sex. He was not arrested but this is all still under investigation. I don't know all the details. I know my neighbor was banned by our local library because the police traced some emails my neighbor sent to some teenage boys on myspace to the IP address at the library, and traced my neighbors address from his library card.

My neighbor and I used to be on very good terms. I let him come over all the time to use my computer and phone, borrow things, use my washer dryer, etc. and until this happened he pretty much came over every day to use my stuff.

But I have kids. And I am a substitute teacher and work with kids. I couldn't risk the safety of my children, or call my own reputation into question in this small town. I immediately severed all contact when my neighbor came under suspicion. When this all happened I told him I could not have him over at my house anymore. Not with my boys here, and he could not use my phone or computer or anything anymore. He was angry and has made a big big deal out of this.

Now every time I am outside my neighbor wants to accost me and argue about this some more. It has gotten to where I feel harassed. Tonight I drove around avoiding going home because another neighbor called me and told me the angry alleged-pedophile neighbor was standing in my driveway waiting for me to drive up so he could continue arguing with me about what a hateful horrible person I am to throw away his friendship.

Well when I drove up a man from my church drove by and actually pulled over and intervened because my neighbor cornered me and was screaming at me. I had my children locked in my van and was afraid to get them out and walk to the door, and it seemed like a full fledged fight was going to happen, until this man from my church drove by and got out of his car. Then my neighbor went back inside when another man showed up to tell him to back off.

Today I have had 15 phone calls from my neighbor I didn't answer. He banged on the door 6 times but I didn't answer. He left a bunch of hateful notes taped to my door.

I am afraid. He always seemed nice before. I am shocked at how ugly this whole thing has become.

I want to move out right now but I'm not sure about breaking the lease.
What should I do?
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Old 12-09-06, 06:30 PM
the_tow_guy's Avatar
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Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: SW Fla USA
Posts: 11,513
1. Call the police, today, now, and report the neighbor's conduct. Find out how to get a restraining order and then GET one.
2. Carry your cell phone (hopefully you have one) and if you drive up to the house and he's in a position to accost you, dial the police immediately and do not get out of the vehicle until they arrive. If he approaches your vehcile in an aggressive manner, DIAL 911.
3. If any of the your previously mentioned problems occur, immediately call the police and report it.
4. If you feel physically threatened at any time do not just call the police, DIAL 911.
5. Talk to the landlord at your earliest opportunity to see if there's any chance the neighbor will be evicted. If not, I would walk regardless of the monetary consequences (you'll likely lose any deposits you have with the landlord, but he would have to take legal action to recover for the remaider of the lease and I can't see any judge/jury telling you you have to continue to live there (but on the other hand OJ is still walking around free).

My layman's $.02 worth.
Old 12-10-06, 09:49 AM
logcabincook's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Rocky Mountain Foothills
Posts: 549
Yeah get the cops involved NOW. Regardless of your prior relationship, his possible criminal history, or the fact that you have kids: this is harrassment. The criminal history and your kids gives you an even stronger case.
Old 12-15-06, 04:47 AM
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 61
Call the police and Get away from him

This guy sounds like a bad dude. Sounds to me like he got caught, and now he's trying to convince you he's not a bad guy - while proving to you he's a really bad guy.

He's probably been "working you" for a long time and now he sees all that work down the tubes knowing he won't be able to dupe your family.

First, I'd call the police as described above.

Then I'd call the landlord, explain the situation calmly, and tell him it's either you or him that leaves. The landlord will undoubtedly want him to leave, but probably can't force it to happen - so he'll have no choice but to let you out of your lease. Then leave - yes it's a financial burden, but sometimes you have no choice - and don't tell the guy when or where you're going.
Old 12-16-06, 10:07 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: ElDorado Springs
Posts: 3
My wife and I just lost a good friend 2 weeks ago because of a similar situation.She was murdered. She had even had the guy over for Thanksgiving dinner.(She was killed afterwards) CALL THE POLICE AND PROTECT YOUR KIDS!!
Old 12-18-06, 08:41 PM
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 220
Call the cops

Keep all notes and answering machine messages , if any

If you don't have a cell phone or can't afford a service get one from a friend.
Even if a cell phone is not activated it can call 911

Every time he comes on your property or you fell that he is threatening you in any way call the police

And you might not like this one,
Buy a gun
Old 12-23-06, 04:12 PM
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 2
Red face Thank You All

I had to have the cops come talk to him, I was afraid that would make it worse but it didn't. First some men from my church talked to him and told him to stay away and said they let him know that I have friends who check on me and make sure I am ok. Then when that wasn't enough the police told him to stay away too.

The investigation is now closed. They did not charge him but he was given a thorough interrogation that from what I heard scared him. But nobody really did anything because I guess they didnt have enough to make a case. But they have his number now, and so do I, and I won't let him around my kids, no way no how.

Since he was warned to stay away from me by the police and several male friends he has indeed stayed away. He sees me outside now but just walks inside/ slams the door. sometimes he shouts cusswords...but he hasn't run at me and blocked my way to my door anymore. He stays on his side of the duplex. It is still MAJORLY awkward and uncomfortable though.

I have been looking for a new place to live. I have called several places in the newspaper but the main problem is I need to save at least two paychecks for rent deposits utility disconnect/reconnect fees etc. etc. If it gets too scary I here there is a battered womens shelter and a homeless shelter, two resources I could check into to see if they would let me have a room til I got paid again. That is a last resort but at least if I have to flee in the night or something I know a few places to ask for help in an emergency.

I don't know what I would need to do to have a gun legally for protection. I guess I would have to get a permit and that kind of stuff before I could bring one here. I will look into what I have to do to have one here legally. I might have to attend some safety course or something to get a permit or license I assume. But I think its a good idea, with a good lock box so the kiddos don't get to it.
Old 12-23-06, 05:10 PM
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: USA
Posts: 15,834
Perhaps friends can help you come up with the deposits for moving. Don't let your guard down. These personality types stew and stew and make their move later when they see an opportunity. Landlord eviction would likely rile him even more. Do, however, make your landlord aware of the situation. Make sure other neighbors are aware so that people will watch out for you. As indicated, call police each and every time he does anything so that there is a record. Also, keep a journal documenting every incident.
Old 12-23-06, 08:48 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: WI/MN
Posts: 18,497
I'm not anti-gun, but I don't think getting a gun is the right answer for everyone. There are two questions to which you must first answer yes:

1 Do you know how to use it?
2 Are you willing to pull the trigger and end someone else's life?

A "no" to either question and you're better off with something non-lethal, like pepper spray.
Old 12-23-06, 08:52 PM
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 220
Depending on where you live buying a gun can be as easy as ordering Chinese or as hard as buying a nuclear device.
In Florida you only have to be 21 a non felon. have no restraining orders or mental issues.
Getting a concealed permit is only slightly harder.

Whether it is mandated or not firearms safety training should go along with the purchase, whether that be from a friend or a pro.

Most police stations give free gunlocks and a lot of newly manufactured guns have built in locks.

I apologize if I am trying to push an agenda too hard .
I have as much faith in police reaction time as is reasonable but I do believe personal protection is a personal responsibility.

My wife was mugged two days ago the total time from the incident to police arrival until the guy in custody was less than 15 minutes, excellent response time no matter how you look at it.
The only problem is that it was 15 minutes after the incident.

If guns do not fit into your life or life style get some pepper spray or a stun gun

I'm 230 lbs and had my wife try both on me they both hurt and will incapacitate long enough to get you away from the situation.
The pepper spray actually worked better on me because I am mentally overly sensitive to being blinded

This guy may just simply have hurt feelings about the situation or he may be unstable and may blow at the right provocation, you never know.
Old 12-26-06, 01:01 PM
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 14
On another note, you stated that this gentelman (not!) used YOUR computer. In a similar situation as yours (an acquaintance, not a neighbor), it turned out that the perpetrator was not using his own computer but the computer that belonged to some folks he was house sitting for. That way the evidence would not be found on his own computer. The folks eventually found this when they took the computer for repair. If it had not been for this, the cops would not have known about the kid porn and the two boys he was abusing. You really need to check out your computer or get someone knowledgable to check it out.

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