Help ?!?!

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  #1  
Old 03-09-09, 05:19 PM
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Help ?!?!

My friend is still going to court over this divorce that is now turning ugly and there are alot of holes in this that I can't help him with and was hoping somebody on here could suggest something (besides a "hitman"...lol....like the thread before. But, I'm sure people have thought of that

Okay, here's his somewhat lengthy e-mail to me today of his mediation with his attorney and his soon-to-be-ex-wife and her lawyer:

I talked to S (his attorney that he wanted to fire) about not getting back with me in a timely matter to be able to contact some of these people I needed to about the 401K and not fighting as hard as she could. She said she was sorry that she has been busy. I told her do I need to get another lawyer. She said no she was sorry. I hope so.

I met the mediator and we all went into a conference room to all talk. L (the soon-to-be-exwife) walked in and the mediator put his hand out to shake hands and L refused to shake his hand. L's lawyer said they refused the 18,000 offer that I first offered and then went into about the "other assets"..like the two motorcyles and car he was concerned about. S spoke up and said those were bought after they seperated in 2001. He didn't say anything after that. (the 2 motorcycles and car are my friend's that he bought after his wife moved in with her boyrfriend eight years ago and still lives with the bf and she doesn't work at all).

Then L and her lawyer went into the other room. The mediator started out with us and S adivsed him of what we had offered and why. The mediator then went to talk to L and her lawyer with the 22,500 cuz the mediator said that L is entitled to half of everything...which is 38,000 equity in the house and 50% of the 401K which is 19,500. The Mediator didn't care about the 7-8 years of not filing (L hasn't filed taxes in 8 years, so she hasn't paid taxes on the house she had with friend). The mediator was worried who was going to pay for the penalties and taxes on the amount L would recieve. So, the Mediator went to talk with them and came back and said they rejected the 22,500 offer cuz of the taxes and penalties.

We refigured everything again and offered the 25,000. S and the mediator figured the tax on the 25,000 to be 6,200 L would have to pay out of the 25,000 plus she would be paying her lawyer, not me. The mediator came back and said they rejected that offer cuz they wanted the lawyer fees, too. The mediator said that their best fight in court WOULD be the two figures together of 38,000 equity in the house and the 19,500 50% of the 401K....57,500 and thats what their shooting for.

The mediator said that L would owe me $38,000 in child surport for the 7-8 yrs. (my friend raised his and L's daughter on his own after L left) .The mediator said that L would recieved something along the lines of 7-8 yrs of marital maintanence of $38,000 is what he figured...so he said the two would cancel each other out. He said any judge would come close to $30-35,000 so L would have a true marital asset value and wouldn't have to pay taxes or penalites on the money she would get as I would have the whole value of the house if I sold it tomorrow is what he is saying.

S was trying to tell me to offer L $25,000 from the 401K and give her $10,000 cash. I told her that I don't have $10,000 cash. S was trying to tell me I could borrow against my 401K and have a tax write off for 5 years and pay myself back though my 401K without any penalities. I told her I don't want any payments on anything.

So, S and I decided to go with $30,000 from the 401K leaving L with $22,500 take after taxes and all. So, the Mediator went to talk to them and L's lawyer and the mediator came back into the room. L's lawyer said he had a court appearance and had to leave. S threw a fit and said what a waste of time and money today was for everyone cuz he had to leave....he already knew he had to leave before we even started. They rejected that offer and I told S, "were done...I am leaving".

S told me she heard L's lawyer whisper to the mediator he hasn't gotten paid anything YET from L.

S told me what L's lawyer is doing is NOT right ethnically cuz he has a vested interest in her case now to get paid. She said that L's lawyer is now a debt collcetor in sense cuz of their arrangments made. S said she is going to push L's lawyer harder which will cause them to either take whats on the table or L's lawyer saying he wants some money before he can go any further with the case... leaving her with out a lawyer.

So that's where we stand right now


WHEW!!! The wife left him 8 years ago to move in with her current bf, she changed her name back to her maiden name, hasn't paid a dime to my friend for the house or their child (who is now grown) and she wants half of the house value, the 401K and maintenance PLUS half of his two motorcycles and car value which he bought years after she left and she hasn't paid taxes on anything.

In Colorado, it's a no fault state, so she will get money there's no doubt about that. But, the lady doesn't and won't work, never really has and sits around all day long watching TV, has all these years. Her bf pays for all of her needs and has for the last 8 years while being seperated from my friend.

I don't know about law, but this is nuts. She can't be getting back 50% AND maintenance AND his property after she left.

THANK YOU for reading all of this!....please advise. A new lawyer? Stretch out time, so that the wife's lawyer will quit?
 
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Old 03-10-09, 10:38 AM
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i'm assuming that everyhting you posted is complete and accurate. you know-garbage in;garbage out. given that, here are my brutally honest thoughts, very brutal:
i read all of this twice and it still makes no sense; i could read it ten times and it wouldn't help.

IF YOU CANNOT STAND BRUTAL HONESTY, DO NOT, I REPEAT NOT, READ ANY FURTHER!!! QUIT NOW.

there are a number of a------s in this cheesy plot of human melodrama.
husband is right up there; wife is there; mediator is there; S is there. and you are somewhat of a fool to be involved with these people.
you did not say when anyone filed for divorce, but reading between the lines it sounds like it was in the last year or so. am i right???

what kind of an a-----e would watch his adultrous b---h of a wife move in with her bf, sit on her a-s for years and not file for divorce? in the mean time he is raising their two kids plus hers. that's a howler.
can you give a public answer to that one?

what kind of a mediator gives tax advice?

what kind of divorce lawyer would think for one minute that this b---h is entitled to get 50% of everything after her performance. yes, i know your state is a no-fault community property state, but so is ours. this one will not sail, if you have honestly presented all of the facts.

here is the way to handle this: fire the no good broad that claims to be a divorce lawyer. then hire a savvy lawyer that will call up her lawyer and say that his fees are paramount and that you will pay his fees; but he has to be a waaay bigger help in bringing his client back down to earth. what that back down to earth is, is not clear form your presentaton of the facts, but it is not what the ex-wife wants or expects.

since your friend was not swift enough to file for divorce years ago, he has problems, largely of his own doing. why blame the ex for seeking her maximum legal rights? if it were me, and if her lawyer did not agree with my offer, i would take my chances in court. i mean, my god, what do you have to lose? they already want everything that the court would award in a worst case scenario. don't let these losers bluff you. that's my thoughts in a nutshell. good luck and quit screwing around. i told you before to fire her. unfortunately, you will have to pay her for the time she has put in, but, obviously, the time cannot be that much given her performance to date. insist on very detailed and itemized billing records. challange her on every charge. phone logs; mileage logs etc. she's probably a cheesy gougher. they usually are.

i told you i would be brutally honest, but that's the kind of lawyer i can be when i have to. usually, i'm a cream puff to my clients. i just figure you two need a wakeup call. WAKE UP.
 
  #3  
Old 03-10-09, 02:01 PM
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Originally Posted by reisjdmd View Post
i'm assuming that everyhting you posted is complete and accurate. you know-garbage in;garbage out. given that, here are my brutally honest thoughts, very brutal:
i read all of this twice and it still makes no sense; i could read it ten times and it wouldn't help..


Ahh,,,..yeah. This was exactly how I recieved the information, copied and pasted with names left out, only initials.



Originally Posted by reisjdmd View Post
what kind of an a-----e would watch his adultrous b---h of a wife move in with her bf, sit on her a-s for years and not file for divorce? in the mean time he is raising their two kids plus hers. that's a howler.
No, there's ONE child that he and L had together and he raised the daughter after L left eight years ago.


I appreciate your honesty. The friend is a police officer and he works in and out of the courts alot. But, this is his first divorce and the ex sounds like a "winner". Honestly, I see alot of loop holes in it, too, that don't make sense to me, so, this is as far as I go with it.

I just needed someone else to verify and you did so, very well, I might add.
..lol..

THANK YOU!
 
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Old 03-10-09, 02:33 PM
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