Who gets custody?

 

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Old 11-22-05, 12:30 PM
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Who gets custody?

If I should suddenly die, who would get custody of my son? In my divorce papers, I have full custody of my son. So if I die, then what? Just curious...and I don't know if this post belongs here, but...

I don't want his father to have any ability to get him. He hasn't seen him for 7 years or so...it wouldn't be right or fair...but I guess that's what this world is made up of...no righteousness and unfairity...did I just make up my own word?

If he can get custody...what can I do to prevent this? Any suggestions?
 
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Old 11-22-05, 12:45 PM
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Definitely a question that should be bounced off an attorney. I think that if you had a will stating who you wanted to have custody that your wishes would be followed. Without a will, I have no idea.
 
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Old 11-22-05, 01:49 PM
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Even with sole custody, upon the death of the custodial parent, typically the surviving parent is granted custody unless the parent is found to be unfit. Check with your attorney re: your state's law re: this issue.
 
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Old 06-21-06, 02:22 PM
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speak w/ an attorny, make a Will and NAME who you want to become the caretakers of your child.

my brother and his wife named me to be the caretaker if anything should happen to them.

i'm sure it works differently in every state.

i'm also certain that your husband would have to fight the courts for custody.
 
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Old 06-21-06, 03:12 PM
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Your Sons age would be a factor in custody if you have a will asking that he be placed in someone elses care should you die. Most courts would not place a child with, in your case, a stranger. Attorney is the only way to know your options though. Good luck and "just don't leave".
 
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Old 06-23-06, 11:11 AM
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Thanks everyone! Apparently this is not a DIY thing as I need to get my butt to an attorney and get a will going. I have seen DIY wills online but I just don't trust it. It seems you can actually have it done for a price but the legality of it, I dunno. Any case...I'm gonna have to find me an attorney. In the meanwhile, I'm doing my best to stay alive.
 
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Old 08-15-06, 05:04 PM
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Since a child isn't property, I don't think expressing your wishes for his custody in a will would hold much weight in a court. Definitely get a will but I think the custody issue is separate.
I'll add my voice to everyone else - see a lawyer.
 
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Old 08-15-06, 05:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Wayne Mitchell
Since a child isn't property, .
I'll go along with Wayne on this one. A will is for property, not children.

Twelvepole has the deal on custody after your death also. Unless there is some reason that dad would not be allowed custody such as proven unfit, dad is next in line to be the custodial parent. After all, he IS the father.

" DIYaddict "I'm doing my best to stay alive."

Is there something impending? (yes, I am nosey)

You definately want to deal with an attorney on this one. Setting up a guardianship is not what a will is for. It is an independant document and AGREEMENT with the intended guardian.

A will disperses property and is not dependant upon a person being willing. A guardianship needs to have a willing guardian.

While dad will end up with the child probably, if he does not wish to take care of his child, he can allow a guardianship to be established prior to need.
 
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Old 08-15-06, 05:43 PM
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Nothing impending...just want to look out for the "in case" things. If you guys don't see me on here for a long time then you'll know what happened...ha ha...ha...

I tend to think of my son as "my property" anyway but it does sound right about contacting a lawyer. AND since I haven't mentioned anything, I still haven't done anything about this. I would like to avoid at all cost to get in contact with his father-especially since I don't know where he's at and really don't care to.

So if I die...how would he know anyway? Would the state go out by all means to find him?...and inform him?

I know...I know...get an attorney.

Thanks you guys. I agree with ya all.
 
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Old 08-15-06, 07:41 PM
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I do believe an attempt would be made to find the father, but how vigorous the attempt would be I don't know. Your son is old enough that it might be a good idea to sit down with him and see who he would want to take care of him.
 
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Old 09-06-06, 12:09 PM
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most attorneys probably have set fees for wills. and i do think a will is where you can state who will get custody of your minor children should you die.

just call one & ask. it's probably not as much as you'd think.
 
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Old 09-08-06, 05:55 PM
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Re:who gets custody

I believe that due to the fact that your ex-husband hasn't seen your children, that if something should happen, that anyone would just pick him first as they may just consider that he abandoned them. Where I live, the courts are for the best interests of the children and just because someone is blood related and their parent doesn't mean they get the rights to raise the children.
He would have to give a great magnitude of an explanation of why he didn't keep in any contact and if interested in having the children, where was his interest the last 7 years?
 
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Old 09-26-06, 03:38 AM
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Smile

My advice: DON'T DIE!

Sorry, couldn't resist a little humor.

I think that who would be chosen to raise your child would vary from state to state, and would, if the father somehow found out and decided to contest whatever decision the State officials made, involve litigation.

You might try contacting State officials who get involved in such matters in your State. Maybe they have rules they follow which they would share with you.
 
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Old 09-26-06, 06:43 AM
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Arrow Possible Solution & Suggestions

Hello: DIYaddict

I fully agree. DO NOT DIE!

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None there pertaining to this issue?
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On a serious note, an attorney may be necessary, but not likely. Your choice.

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Old 09-26-06, 05:23 PM
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Thanks everyone! I WILL NOT DIE!...well...I'll try not to. Thanks for the link Sharp Advice! I need to get rolling on the ball on this (is that how you say it?).

Will post something for sure when I find out anything good...or bad.
 
  #16  
Old 10-25-06, 06:42 PM
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Originally Posted by DIYaddict
Thanks everyone! I WILL NOT DIE!...well...I'll try not to. Thanks for the link Sharp Advice! I need to get rolling on the ball on this (is that how you say it?).

Will post something for sure when I find out anything good...or bad.
Indeed, don't die on us!!! Needless to say your son....haha, remember he needs you the most!

BTW, I've always heard it as: ".....get the ball rolling...."
 
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Old 10-26-06, 09:22 AM
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or simply "get on the ball".
 
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Old 10-26-06, 09:43 AM
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This might not be true for every state, but it sounds about right. I got this from Oregon...

Your child's custody usually goes to the other parent if you die. But after your death the judge must consider any notarized document you left. You can have a lawyer prepare an Affidavit (sworn statement) that names a person you want to take care of your child or you can state your custody wishes in a will. You can also write a letter that says who you want to take care of your child and that gives specific reasons why the other parent should not have custody. The letter must be notarized to be effective. If the other parent decides to fight your wishes, the judge will have the final say.
 
 

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