I have a 2 year old daughter who will not sleep through the night. In fact, I can count on my fingers the number of times since she was born that she has. It doesn't seem to bother my wife very much but I can't stand having to get up with my daughter 2 or 3 or 4 times a night. I have a feeling it is our fault but want some reassurance. Every night when we lay her down she gets her sippy cup. In 3 hours she is up asking for a refill. I have tried once to take it away but she still gets up. Do we need a doctor or what? She is sleeping in her own room in a transition bed (a crib without sides). Please help!!!!

Sleepless in South Dakota

 

First thing I would do is cease giving her the cup at bedtime - it will be ugly at first. Put her to bed without the cup and every time she gets up, put her back in bed without speaking to her. A few horrible nights later, you'll start to notice a difference.

 

I think you are right. It's your fault. Not being harsh on you but, you give her something that will get you back into her room or at least WITH her.
I just noticed Mitch17's post came in. He has the same thoughts I do. Good luck.

 

Yep I will have to agree with the other posters also. If she wakes at night just put her right back to bed without saying much. No more getting things for her. You guys have turned into her all night wait-staff. He he Sorry not trying to be harsh on you.

Good luck

 

FWIW we have one of those, too. Our son routinely wakes up at least once during the night. He's in his own bed (kid-size loft I built in the wood shop) in his own room and doesn't get anything before bed. When he's ready for bed he grabs his blankie and takes my wife's hand. Sometimes he comes back out shortly afterwards for a repeat performance. Either way we usually hear him wake up on the monitor in the wee hours and a few minutes later he comes shuffling into the bedroom. Loving wife excorts him back to bed.

Don't lose any sleep over it (no pun intended); they'll outgrow it sooner or later (PLEASE, God, sooner!).

 

Bedtime rituals and routines must be established--a certain time for bed each night, getting bath and/or into pajamas, brushing teeth, turning down the bed, a little snuggle time and story. This wind-down routine is important for getting the child relaxed and should not take more than 30 minutes. Hopefully, the child falls asleep during the story. If not, turn on some of their favorite music and leave the room. Room should be cool and dark. It may be necessary to use blinds that block light from the street. A night light can be used so child will not feel all alone in the dark if sleeping in the dark is an issue. The bedroom should be a place for rest and relaxation without TV and stimulating toys. The door can be left open so the child does not feel cut off from you. End the routine by turning off the light and saying 'good night.' Remind them you will see them in the morning and ignore all other protests or questions.

Sippy cups at bedtime are not good because the sugar is not good for developing teeth. Too, what goes in must come out and this may mean trips to the potty or waking up in wet diaper. Should child wake up, make it a very boring time. No hugs, kisses, or stories. No overhead lights, no talking, no changing the diaper unless absolutely necessary. Simply place the child back in bed.

Toddlers are big on not wanting to stay in bed or go to bed when you want them to. Thus, it is important to establish bedtime rituals and routines. You can begin by slowing the pace down after dinner with quiet games, stories, and snuggles. No running around and stimulation. Be firm and consistent about your bedtime rules. Leave a favorite stuffed animal in the bed for amusing self. Just because your child has awakened you, does not mean you have to act like you are awake. The child may become easily bored and return to bed. Do not encourage the child's getting in bed with you. If child cries and protests tell her that you will have to close the door. If child continues to get out of bed, tell her that you will have to close the door. You can stand outside the door. If they open the door return the child to bed and explain that you will leave the door open if they stay in bed.

You can also explain that night time is for sleeping and not getting up to play or get a sippy cup (day time only) and that the only times that mommy and daddy can be awakened is if they are scared, sick, or need help. Tell them that you will get them up when you get up. Arousal times should also be kept as consistent as possible.

Remember that lots of patience will be needed as well as lots of consistency and firmness. You will likely hear some crying over the loss of the sippy cup, but this will pass. Be consistent and say, "Sippy cups are for day time only." Put sippy cups out of sight in the kitchen at night.

Remember to praise your child for staying in bed and for sleeping through the night. Lots of praise for positive behaviors. Do not feel guilty if your child cries and protests as you condition them for the new sleep routine. Do not feel guilty should you have to close the bedroom door and stand outside. After several days, you should see some improvement. Remember that children like to test your limits. As long as they know what they are as established by the sleep rituals and routines and their knowledge of your expectations that they have to stay in their bed, you will be sleeping like a baby yourself. It is important that both parents are in agreement and each plan to respond to the child's waking up during the night in the same way.

 

I have to disagree with one point in twelvepole's reply. I believe you should put your child to bed while she is still awake, not get her to fall asleep with you and then put her into bed. The reason for this is that no one sleeps through the night, we all wake up several time each night. Those who apear to sleep through the night are just able to put themselves back to sleep when they wake up. If you allow the child to fall asleep in your presence and outside of their bed, they will have difficulty falling asleep without your presence and in their bed when they wake up. Put them into bed while drowsy but still awake and they will teach themselves to fall asleep on their own.

 

Thank you so much for the replies. I agree w/ the sippy cup issue. But no sugar in the sippy, only milk. I have told my wife about your replies but I can't seem to convince her that this will work. She does not like to hear crying at night. She admits to being selfish about sleep so the more she is awakened by crying from lack of sippy cup the more tension it brings her. Any help here? Help me convince my wife that this is a good idea.

 

If both parents are not on the same page, you can't win. I would suggest seeing if you can isolate your wife from the noise for a while so you can make this work. We had a smiliar issue in my house and solved it by putting my wife in the bedroom and closing the door while I slept in the next room from our daughter and could respond to cries before they woke my wife.

 

Took the sippy cup away. One night down, ????? to go. Didn't go quite as bad as I thought. My daughter surely has a temper though. 4:00 am she was screaming at me. But I didn't think she would sleep at all. Hopefully it gets better from here. Thank you so much!!!!!

 

It will get better, I just wish I could tell you it will only take 2 or 3 nights.

 

I'll race you, tommy; first one to get consistant full-night's sleep wins!

 

Milk has sugars... Anything but water will rot the teeth.
So does she NOT get up when the kiddo wakes up?
Remind her that this waking up to crying is short term and what the long term benefits are.
Just an aside for this..
I have four children that all sleep on their own.
They all slept the first 6 months of their life in my bed.
I recommend working on the going to sleep by themselves no later than 6 months. I then recommend demanding no wake up no later than two.
I also believe you absolutely never ever send a child to bed with a drink (bottle or sippy cup) but if you insist it should be water only.

Note:
I am very glad you are working on it..
Are they children sleeping?

 

Moderator note: No beneficial information in this post so it was removed.

 

No way will I endorse drugging a child to make her sleep.

 

I agree with that..
Sing to her, rock her, drive around in the car till she falls asleep but no way should you drug a child to get the child to sleep.
the most notable reason is those medicines are not safe for children

 

The goal of establishing bedtime rituals is to eventually get the child responsible for falling to sleep on his or her own. Rocking, singing, or driving around in car until the child falls asleep are not good rituals. (I once knew a mother who was still rocking her daughter to sleep when she was in second grade.) Pick and choose your bedtime rituals carefully.

Medications that make children sleep could make them addicted if used on a regular basis. This is irresponsible parenting and could be construed to be child abuse.

 

I don't agree with the methods as Ideal but drugging is never OK. I would rather see some one rocking their second grader to sleep than have a strung out, addicted 2nd grader. JMO.
I think my four children have great sleep habits and I started putting them in their own bed to go to sleep on their own at 6 months old.

 

I agree with everyone that consistency is huge! I do want to say though, that good sleeping habits are learned; we're not born knowing how to sleep through the night. My point is that I understand you are doing some re-training with your daughter's nighttime sleep and I think it's wonderful you're dealing with it now rather than a year or two or three from now.

My other suggestion is that you look at her daytime activity, routine, and attitude as well. My husband and I focus on something we call "first-time obedience". As an example, if our daughter is consistent in obeying our spoken word/instruction the first time we give it then we can be confident (hopefully) that she will stay in her bed when it is bedtime even if she thinks she doesn't want to be there; she stays not necessarily because she wants to but because she knows that we require first-time obedience and it is our instruction that keeps her there.

Good Luck!

 

im not trying to brag, but my 21 month old son has pretty much slept all night since he was like 3 months old. we have NEVER given him a bottle/cup to bed. ive heard that was bad and also could cause ear infections (dont know if its true). we have also never rocked him to sleep or anthing, we just take him in there and put him down. i think we have been pretty lucky, but i didnt want to start any bad habits. every now and then sometimes he will wake up around 4am and cry for a few minutes and then go back to sleep (without us going in there).

good luck.