Did I goof? My son just called me at work and asked if he could go to the Angels game with his friend (whom I've never met) and his friend's dad, grandma and grandpa. This was so last minute but I let him go. I did manage to get his friend's cell#, dad's# and their address...so I know where his friend lives. I know he goes to school with him. I hardly ever let him go out b/c I just feel uncomfortable and scared. I never meet any of his friends or their parents only b/c I've never had the chance to. I feel like I shouldn't have let him go b/c I don't know his friend or his friend's parents. What is the right thing to do? Or what should've been the right thing to do? I'm just freaked out about it I guess b/c I have a hard time letting my one and only child go out...especially w/people I don't know. I did ask my son to call me if it gets past 10pm and if he's not home. How long do these baseball games last?

 

I think you did okay, DIY. Assuming your son is trustworthy and you are confident the companions will really be the boy, father, and grandparents I don't see a problem. Always nice to at least get a hi, how are you from people in a circumstance like that, not always possible.

Trying to remember the geography out there, about 25 miles probably. Checked espn and game time is 7:05 there. Figure 2 1/2 to 3 hours for the game and then fight the departing traffic. I'm thinking 11:00 return wouldn't be unexpected. I figure if he calls at 10:00 it ought to be about the 9th inning or they'll be on the way to the car or actually headed home.

I would make it a point of meeting the car so you can take the opportunity to meet the family. Smile and say thanks for taking him. Practice not looking stressed out. At 11 years old he should be ready for this kind of stuff.

My wife and I are on our second "one & only"; big sister is 17, little brother is 2. Just wait until he starts driving. Daughter is up the road about 20 miles tonight at a neighboring high school event that she drove to. I always heave a sigh of relief when I hear the car pull back in.

 

I have seen enough in other posts about your son to think he is trustworthy enough for this. Just set up something soon for you to meet everybody and you'll be fine.

 

There's only 2 thing you should do different next time.

1. At least talk to the other parents next time.

2.Never let him go to an Angels game. He could watch the Reds on tv.

Actually #2 was a joke.

 

okay.......those are the guys' opinions. here's a fellow mother's:

"I feel like I shouldn't have let him go b/c I don't know his friend or his friend's parents."

i think that's your answer right there.

in my opinion, you shouldn't have let him go. but in your defense, i can say that you were put in a pressured situation to make a hasty snap decision without having all the facts. and being a single parent, you didn't have a husband to consult with. i know it's a lot easier to say "no" when you've got someone standing beside you saying "no", too. the fact that Grandparents were going made it seem more "okay". you didn't want to deny your son this opportunity for a fun time, you didn't want to be the bad guy, and you felt guilty because you "hardly ever let him go out b/c I just feel uncomfortable and scared." but that's called intuition. you SHOULD feel uncomfortable and scared about entrusting the safety & well-being of your child with, basically, total strangers. and without even knowing the friend, you can't even form an opinion about what the parents may be like.

i don't mean to make you feel bad, and it's easy for me to sit way over here, after the fact, and say you did the wrong thing, but i think you did.

but if it makes you feel better, i might have been tempted to do the same thing in a similar situation. and i seem to recall playing this game on my own mother when i was young. you just know that they're going to agree to it because they won't have time to think about it. it usually worked like a charm for me, and now your son may be thinking it'll work for him from now on, too.

i probably would have said, "look, son, don't put me in this situation. i know you want to go, but i don't even know these people, and i'm not going to let you get in a stranger's car and be driven to a ball game a half hour away. i'm sorry, maybe next time, i will have met these people and then you can go." and then make an effort to meet more of his friends and their parents. go to every PTA meeting & school function & force yourself to speak to these people & introduce yourself. i'm pretty shy, so i know how tough & uncomfortable that can be. but it's important for situations just like this. maybe you could have a party or a cookout at your house & invite all his friends and that way you can meet his friends & their parents (if they actually come IN and don't just drop them off at the driveway!!)

i'm a worrier though. i read horrible stories in the paper and elsewhere (as i'm sure you do, too) about all sorts of bad things that happen to kids. like people whose kids go over to play at a friend's house & before they know it, the friend has accidentally shot their son in the head with a loaded gun that was supposed to be unloaded & locked up and he was just "showing" to their son.

or stories about kids walking on railroad tracks, and then......

or walking on the side of the road at night in the dark.....

i know you can't protect your kids at all times, and mine are only 7 and 4, so i'm not really at the point where they're going anywhere without me, so maybe my opinion really doesn't hold any weight here, but i think you've learned a lesson from this. everything might have turned out just fine this time, but from NOW ON, he shouldn't go to a home you've not been IN, or anywhere with people you've not MET. Eleven is still very young. and since he is so mature & responsible, and you have such a great line of communication with him, TELL HIM how this made you feel. tell him how you felt pressured to say yes, but how horrible you felt afterward, and how horrible you would've felt if something bad would've happened. you went against your better judgment and you won't do it again. (if that's how you feel).

sorry if i've offended all the posters who think you did okay. and sorry if i've made you feel bad. it's all just my opinion. we all do the best we can.

 

Thanks guys and Annette! All in all, ALL of you guys are correct!

First and most important...he came home safetly.

Annette, your opinion and thots on this definitely helps me in the future....so I better start making plans on meeting his friends and parents. I totally understand EVERYthing you said and agree.

Tow guy- you were dead on (pretty much) on the timing. I didn't think games lasted that long. Boy was I tired. I usually sleep @ 9pm not matter what day it is! He called me before 10:30pm letting me know they just got out and was on the way back. His friend's dad showed up by 11-ish pm and we got home and in bed by 11:30pm. To my astonishment, I couldn't believe my son actually called me. He tends to forget the things I say when he's excited and is having fun.

There was a miscommunication b/c it was actually his friend, his friend's dad, and his friend's little brother and my son that went. NOT the grandparents. I didn't get a chance to read any replies 'til today so...when the doorbell rang I answered it and only my son was standing there but the his friend's dad was standing at the sidewalk by the car and I only had a chance to glance at him, he put his hand up (like saying "hello-goodby") and I did the same with a holler "Thank you!". So, I still didn't get a chance to talk to anyone and "meet" etc.

Thank you guys for the comfort. More than likely I won't let this last minute planning thing happen again b/c...you just never know...right? Definitely will meet and talk to the parents 1st before anything.

Go Angels! (that's for you Mattison) j/k-I don't even like baseball.

 

"There was a miscommunication b/c it was actually......"

yep, that's why you HAVE TO talk to the parents! kids always seem to get things just a little mixed up!

 

I went to my son's Open House at school yesterday and asked him to introduce me to his friends. He was ok with that but instead of saying "This is my mom..." he said "This is xxxxx(my name)" How funny is that? I corrected him in a funny unawkward way though. So...I finally got to meet his friends and even "asked" him if I could take their pictures (w/him). He was embarrassed to let me but he approved it so now I have their pictures. LOL. I hung around for an hour and a half wanting to meet their parents but they were not around (they didn't show up yet). I couldn't wait any longer so we took off. Wow...am I overprotective or what???! I guess I'm just not used to letting my son go on his own yet...

 

Nothing wrong with a little overprotective.

 

Let's see...taking pictures of other people's kids on school grounds without a signed release? You're braver than I thought!

 

i think you just can't PUBLISH or print them anywhere without their permission, like in the newspaper or something.

i'm sure you're fine.........

 

nothing wrong with being over protective hes your first born and you don't want to lose him if he was your second or third than you might a little more open because you know what to do.