is water softener a good thing?
#1

I was thinking of installing a water softener to get rid of all the
calcium in our household water. But then I heard some things
against the idea:
a) A water softener does not simply produce calcium-free water;
it adds a lot of other chemicals to the water that you don't
want. Chemically softened water does not make cleaner, more
additive free water.
b) A softener uses large quantities of salt and this pollutes the
environment somehow (when it is flushed, perhaps?)
c) a water softener does not get rid of the grit and other sediment
that makes it necessary to drain your hot water heater. You
still have to drain the heater.
I am a novice and have no way of knowing if any or all of
these points are valid. I heard them from ordinary homeowners
in California, not experts.
Thanks for advice--commenting on the above or
else giving more pros or cons of water softeners.
calcium in our household water. But then I heard some things
against the idea:
a) A water softener does not simply produce calcium-free water;
it adds a lot of other chemicals to the water that you don't
want. Chemically softened water does not make cleaner, more
additive free water.
b) A softener uses large quantities of salt and this pollutes the
environment somehow (when it is flushed, perhaps?)
c) a water softener does not get rid of the grit and other sediment
that makes it necessary to drain your hot water heater. You
still have to drain the heater.
I am a novice and have no way of knowing if any or all of
these points are valid. I heard them from ordinary homeowners
in California, not experts.
Thanks for advice--commenting on the above or
else giving more pros or cons of water softeners.
#2
Morning! 
I am just headed out the door, but I had these stashed, both are good basic overviews on water conditions.
Pls remember.....all water comes up from the ground - wherever you are - and carries the minerals with it, all water is "hard" in this aspect. It depends on how "hard" you can live with. Softening is great for the shower and laundry, but yes, does distill into the system some residue of the softening process.
The link: ECN/Purdue Univ is especially good on ALL types of water problems, then the one from our "green" friends states some goods-bads of water softening.
Just off the top of my noggin, I suggest some non-softened water in your house, or boiling it.......soft water aggravates some health conditions. I boil my water for drinking, iced tea, etc. simply to not drink the soft water, which adds to my health problems.
I will try to find more resources for you tonight.
http://greennature.com/article387.html
http://hermes.ecn.purdue.edu/cgi/con...?wq-7.mt.ascii
Have a great day!

I am just headed out the door, but I had these stashed, both are good basic overviews on water conditions.
Pls remember.....all water comes up from the ground - wherever you are - and carries the minerals with it, all water is "hard" in this aspect. It depends on how "hard" you can live with. Softening is great for the shower and laundry, but yes, does distill into the system some residue of the softening process.
The link: ECN/Purdue Univ is especially good on ALL types of water problems, then the one from our "green" friends states some goods-bads of water softening.
Just off the top of my noggin, I suggest some non-softened water in your house, or boiling it.......soft water aggravates some health conditions. I boil my water for drinking, iced tea, etc. simply to not drink the soft water, which adds to my health problems.
I will try to find more resources for you tonight.
http://greennature.com/article387.html
http://hermes.ecn.purdue.edu/cgi/con...?wq-7.mt.ascii
Have a great day!
#3
I'll try to answer your questions:
A) "A water softener does not simply produce calcium-free water;
it adds a lot of other chemicals to the water that you don't
want". Answer - conventional water softners soften water by exchanging sodium ( from the salt in the brine tank) for calcium in the water. The process also removes barium, magnesium, and limited amounts of iron. The process does add sodium to the water - by a factor of approximately 2 ppm sodium for each ppm of calcium and magnesium removed. If your water is very hard, and if you have a high level of sodium in the first place, this could put the sodium content in your water over the EPA recommendation of 600 ppm. An alternative is potassium softners. Potassium replaces "salt" as the regenerent. These are typically more expensive to operate but are preferred if sodium is a problem. Unless the "salt" is contaminated, no other elements are added to the water.
"Chemically softened water does not make cleaner, more
additive free water". I would have to say the statement is true - in fact, softened water contains a higher total dissolved solid content than what you started with as a result of the sodium addition. The benefit of softening is you exchange calcium which can be difficult to redissolve (from spots for example) for sodium which is easier to dissolve. A good example - wash your car with unsoftened water and let it dry in the sun. The white spots you see will be calcium and magnesium, primarily. Try to remove these. If you soften the water, you will still get the white spots but they will be primarily sodium - much easier to remove.
B) "A softener uses large quantities of salt and this pollutes the
environment somehow (when it is flushed, perhaps?)" "Large" is a relatively ambigous term. The amount of salt used depends directly on the hardness of the water and how efficently the softner is set up. The most efficient setting is about 12 pounds of salt per cubic ft of resin, to remove 22,000 grains of hardness. Unfortunately, there are a lot of softners in use that do not operate at the highest effoiciency point of the curve. Polluting the environment is an issue. Water softening is one of the most inefficient water treatments. Essentially, it is through brut force that sodium ions force the extrtacted calcium ions from the resin. Unfortuantely, it is the least expensive option to deal with hard water. Since you mention the environment, and I note you live in California, you should be aware that is some areas of California, water softners can not be regenerated in place - you can not discharge the brine to the sanitary sewers. You should check with your local sewer department.
C) "A water softener does not get rid of the grit and other sediment
that makes it necessary to drain your hot water heater. You
still have to drain the heater". It depends. While not designed to do so, a resin column makes an excellent particulate filter. It is for precisely that reason that most good softner control valves include a backwash step in the regeneration process. As for the water heater as you mention, it has more to do with the tendency of calcium to precipitate on hot surfaces. What will happen if you soften depends on something called the Langlier saturation index and how the softening effects the "balance" of the water. Softening should prevent (or at least reduce) the accumulation of debris in the water heater.
water softening is a very complex issue. You have to make tradeoffs somewhere along the way. Hard water is tough on clothes, clogs the water heaters, causes dry skin, and can be generally hard to live with.
A) "A water softener does not simply produce calcium-free water;
it adds a lot of other chemicals to the water that you don't
want". Answer - conventional water softners soften water by exchanging sodium ( from the salt in the brine tank) for calcium in the water. The process also removes barium, magnesium, and limited amounts of iron. The process does add sodium to the water - by a factor of approximately 2 ppm sodium for each ppm of calcium and magnesium removed. If your water is very hard, and if you have a high level of sodium in the first place, this could put the sodium content in your water over the EPA recommendation of 600 ppm. An alternative is potassium softners. Potassium replaces "salt" as the regenerent. These are typically more expensive to operate but are preferred if sodium is a problem. Unless the "salt" is contaminated, no other elements are added to the water.
"Chemically softened water does not make cleaner, more
additive free water". I would have to say the statement is true - in fact, softened water contains a higher total dissolved solid content than what you started with as a result of the sodium addition. The benefit of softening is you exchange calcium which can be difficult to redissolve (from spots for example) for sodium which is easier to dissolve. A good example - wash your car with unsoftened water and let it dry in the sun. The white spots you see will be calcium and magnesium, primarily. Try to remove these. If you soften the water, you will still get the white spots but they will be primarily sodium - much easier to remove.
B) "A softener uses large quantities of salt and this pollutes the
environment somehow (when it is flushed, perhaps?)" "Large" is a relatively ambigous term. The amount of salt used depends directly on the hardness of the water and how efficently the softner is set up. The most efficient setting is about 12 pounds of salt per cubic ft of resin, to remove 22,000 grains of hardness. Unfortunately, there are a lot of softners in use that do not operate at the highest effoiciency point of the curve. Polluting the environment is an issue. Water softening is one of the most inefficient water treatments. Essentially, it is through brut force that sodium ions force the extrtacted calcium ions from the resin. Unfortuantely, it is the least expensive option to deal with hard water. Since you mention the environment, and I note you live in California, you should be aware that is some areas of California, water softners can not be regenerated in place - you can not discharge the brine to the sanitary sewers. You should check with your local sewer department.
C) "A water softener does not get rid of the grit and other sediment
that makes it necessary to drain your hot water heater. You
still have to drain the heater". It depends. While not designed to do so, a resin column makes an excellent particulate filter. It is for precisely that reason that most good softner control valves include a backwash step in the regeneration process. As for the water heater as you mention, it has more to do with the tendency of calcium to precipitate on hot surfaces. What will happen if you soften depends on something called the Langlier saturation index and how the softening effects the "balance" of the water. Softening should prevent (or at least reduce) the accumulation of debris in the water heater.
water softening is a very complex issue. You have to make tradeoffs somewhere along the way. Hard water is tough on clothes, clogs the water heaters, causes dry skin, and can be generally hard to live with.